Scene 1: White House, West Wing
President Trump (PT) – Mike, Mike! Where the hell are you Pence?
Vice President Pence (VPP) – I’m right here (under his breath) as always.
PT – Good. Look Mike I need to talk to Kennedy.
VPP – Supreme Court Justice Kennedy?
PT – Well obviously I don’t mean dead Teddy. Yeah, Justice Kennedy. I need to advance my agenda and since Congress is hopeless, a new SCOTUS appointment feels like the right thing. Summon him to my office and make it snappy.
VPP – Mr. President, you can’t summon a supreme court justice, no one can.
PT – Well then ask him to lunch at the White House.
VPP – Certainly, when would you like to meet with him?
PT – Today.
VPP – But suppose he’s already scheduled for a meeting or a case?
PT – Pence, come on man! Show me something here. I’m starting to think I should have replaced you with Lying Ted. Alright, have it your way. Ask him when he can come.
VPP – What should I tell him is the subject of the meeting?
PT – Pastrami and corned beef.
VPP – What?
PT – We will be discussing the finer points of New York Deli sandwiches. That should get him.
VPP – Yes Mr. President.
Scene 2: Two Weeks Later, White House Dining Room
PT – Well Tony, do you want anymore sauerkraut on that plate or maybe the potato salad.
Justice Kennedy (JK) – No thank you Mr. President. I couldn’t eat another thing.
PT – Please Tony call me Don. All my friends do. Well, except the ones I don’t like.
JK – Okay Donnie.
PT – Just Don. Let’s keep things friendly here.
JK – Sure Don, sure.
PT – Okay. So, you’re probably wondering why I called you in for this meeting. I mean in addition to the salted cured meats.
JK – Can I guess it has something to do with my retirement?
PT – Bingo. See you’re a smart guy. You know what’s what.
JK – Well Don, I hope you’re not going to try to convince me to retire before I’m ready.
PT – Nonsense, I would never try to force anyone to do anything he wasn’t ready to.
JK – Good Don, because it would just spoil our friendship.
PT – Right, right, sure. Say I was just wondering do you do much golfing?
JK – No Don, I don’t. I’m more of a yoga kind of guy.
PT – Oh yoga, sure, sure of course, very, um, interesting.
JK – I like that and modern expressionistic dance.
PT – …, hmm … dance you say.
JK – Yes it’s one of my great passions.
PT – You a married man, Tony?
JK – Don, I’ve been married to the same wonderful woman for more than fifty years.
PT – So, Tony does your wife share your … passion for dance.
JK – Oh, far from it. She thinks it’s a silly thing for a man to do. She’s very old fashioned that way. Not a free spirit like me, Don.
PT – Yeah, I’m starting to get the picture. So, Tony, I was wondering if you know that Trump Resorts for Retirees includes several very prestigious locales that you might find … interesting.
JK – Where for instance?
PT – Well, South Beach, Provincetown, Fire Island.
JK – Those are all gay havens.
PT – Are they? I didn’t know.
JK – Of course you do. What are you implying?
PT – I’m not implying anything.
JK – You think I’m gay! Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
PT – Of course not, it’s nobody’s business whether you’re gay or bi.
JK – I’m not bi!
PT – Tony, calm down. No one’s saying you’re gay or bi or anything for that matter. I’m just wondering.
JK – Well, stop wondering. I’m 100% straight. Not that there would be anything wrong if I weren’t.
PT – Of course not. Well I’m glad we got that straightened out.
JK – Right.
PT – So, Tony, you may not be aware but several of Trump Resorts properties have clothing optional sunbathing.
JK – Really? That seems very strange. Which ones?
PT – Oh, let me check this brochure. Well, by a strange coincidence, South Beach, Provincetown and Fire Island.
JK – Okay, I’m outta here.
PT – But Tony, I wasn’t implying anything.
JK – And that’s another thing stop calling me Tony, Mr President.
PT – If you insist Tony.
JK – And for your information I intend to serve on the bench until I’m one hundred and eleven! Good day! (leaves in a huff).
PT – …hmmm… (speaking into an intercom) Mike summon Justice Booth Gator Beanbag or whatever her name is for lunch tomorrow.
Since my readers don’t always stop by every day I figured I’d paste this poll on each post for a while to see what folks call themselves. This is the post the poll came from Who Are We?
… And that got me thinking. Who are the people who read my blog? I thought it might be fun to see what the cross-section looked like. If you feel like saying what you believe in, feel free to leave a comment and/or pick a label from the poll below. I think it might be interesting.