How to Have a Merry Christmas And Drive Leftists Nuts

 

Merry Christmas to all you folks reading this out there.  It is at this time of the rolling year that leftists suffer most from Hadephobia (the fear of going to hell) and do all within their power to discredit religion and especially Christmas.  You see, they rationalize in their hearts that if everyone else is going to hell with them then it won’t be as bad.  Maybe they figure they can convince Satan to put them in charge of handing out the torture.  After all he seems like their sort of guy.

So, it’s up to us to neutralize their efforts and make them the ones who feel discredited and dispirited.  And since making lists is part of the nature of Christmas, let’s make one to help focus the effort:

  1. Tell all your least favorite leftists that your best Christmas present this year was Al Franken resigning from the senate but that John Conyers was a close second.
  2. Make sure you publicly greet every non-left-wing individual with a loud and joyful “Merry Christmas!” and pointedly ignore the Christmas haters. And give a joyous Happy Hanukah to any Jewish friends of faith.  But for goodness sake don’t be cowed into saying Season’s Greetings.  That’s one step away from being forced to say “Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.”
  3. Make every effort to take time off around Christmas Eve and Day to spend with your family and friends. Let the atheists work on Christmas.  Why should they care?
  4. Make sure that you actually participate in the activities. Help with the decorating.  Go with the kids and get the tree.  Put up the lights.
  5. Get involved in the dinner menu selection. Demand all the things you’re not allowed during the rest of the year because they’re bad for you.  If your wife is cooking the turkey, then by all means go pick it up at the butcher’s or supermarket.  Make sure you make a pest of yourself in the kitchen and if possible sample some of the food ahead of time.  How could she mind that?  And for goodness sake make a big fuss about how good the food tastes.  Don’t be a dope.
  6. During your holiday time with your family, shut out the whole evil quagmire that is modern leftist society. Plan to provide entertainment that avoids all the poisonous nonsense that even Disney now bakes into their products.  Here’s where you get a chance to show your originality and good taste.  Put together a pile of movies and tv shows that past the smell test.  Think old stuff.  Don’t be afraid of black and white.  Find all the music that you want to associate with a Christmas celebration.  There’s plenty out there if you look.  With a little effort you can provide enough entertainment to preclude any danger of Kathy Griffin, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Anderson Cooper or Snoop Dog taking part in your Holiday viewing and listening.
  7. And come up with activities that don’t involve electronic devices. If you or your family are musical, play some songs and if you can carry a tune sing along.  Charades, card games, Yahtzee, board games and trivial pursuit are all easy things to get going.  And with the really small kids, get down on the floor and play with all those toy trucks and space ships they just got from Santa.  It’ll do you good.  Put together a penny ante poker game with the male relatives (sure the girls can play too).  Here’s a really crazy thought.  Tell the kids some stories from the old days.  Great grandma would love to break out some stories from the Great Depression and you probably have some characters in your family that are more than worthy of a story to tell the grandkids.  So, there’s plenty to do without artificial intelligence.  You’d be surprised how much fun it is shutting off the tv and doing something yourselves.
  8. Give away lots of little presents to the kids. All the kids. Kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews, friends’ kids, neighbors’ kids.  Nothing like bribing the kids to get them listening to you about important things.
  9. If you have some days off, plan some interesting seasonal activity. Go see a production of A Christmas Carol.  Go to a sporting event (not the NFL).  Go sledding with the kids (if you have snow).  Or just take a drive somewhere.
  10. Give gifts to our side. Support the military charities, religious charities and traditional cultural organizations.  But do your homework.  Many churches, charities and organizations have been infiltrated and converted to leftist zombie versions of their original selves.  Don’t give these a penny.
  11. Take some time at the end of the holiday to make plans for the new year. Discuss your goals and those of your family separately and together.  New Years resolutions actually have a purpose.
  12. Spend some time in prayer. A Christian is supposed to spend some time talking to God.  The time around Christmas is the perfect time to do it.  And even if you are agnostic it’s a very useful time to reflect on the world and what it means to be a human being in it.

So, there you go, twelve suggestions on how to recapture some of the special quality of the Twelve Days of Christmas.  Now try to come up with a list of your own.  Bet some of mine will end up on it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.