I Can Never Be A Supreme Court Justice

The recent allegations against Supreme Court nominee Kavanaugh has forced me to accept a very bitter pill.  I could never withstand the vetting process to be a Supreme Court Justice.  Now you might retort, “But photog,you don’t want to be a Supreme Court Justice and  you’re not a judge, in fact you’re not a lawyer, and to be brutally honest, you’re a completely unqualified vindictive jerk.”  So who asked you to be brutally honest?  But anyway let’s suppose for the sake of argument that President Trump selected me for this great honor.  It would be only a matter of time before Camera Girl would be harassed by Mueller until she finally flipped and accused me of some kind of sexual mopery-dopery.  After reading the description of what Kavanaugh’s harpy is accusing him of I realized that what I was up to at that age was ten times worse.  Now granted, at the time I somehow brainwashed Camera Girl into thinking that she was complicit in this patriarchal mating ritual but without a doubt I would be flung into the outer darkness with much wailing and gnashing of teeth if those records were uncovered.  But in my defense it was the 1970s and Animal House had recently come out and we were both seventeen and you know what I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Seriously, reading what was alleged to have gone on sounds like every make out party that ever happened since Adam first played doctor with Eve.  I’m assuming if this gal ever managed to get married she was blind-sided on her wedding night to discover that her new husband was expecting her to engage in sex with him.  She probably called 911 and demanded a SWAT team to extract her from the bridal suite.  I guess from now on every time the Democrats want to up-end a Republican Supreme Court nominee they will find some strident feminist shrew that went to school with the nominee and she will channel her inner victim and morph some attempt at a clumsy pass into an encounter with Jack the Ripper.

It should be interesting to see if the republicans have the smarts to move through this quickly and get the vote in during the time table that they’ve laid out.  What should be interesting is if some facts emerge to make it clear that the accuser is a partisan hack that was selected because of her willingness to fabricate a story that will be extremely hard to prove or disprove and thereby raise doubts in the minds of spineless Republican Senators.

So anyway I’m late for an appointment with a defense attorney who will help me trick Camera Girl into signing a pre-emptive waiver against any claims of sexual skullduggery from the beginning of time all the way up to the Final Trump.  We’re going to try and convince her that she’s won the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes and her signature will release all twenty five million dollars of prize money.  Wish me luck, oh my brothers.

6 thoughts on “I Can Never Be A Supreme Court Justice

  • September 19, 2018 at 8:50 am
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    Photog, you hit this one 100% correct.
    I actually could pass the background check based on the new rules. I was an even bigger nerd back in high school than I am now and never went to those parties.
    But everyone else did, and I heard the stories. I heard stories a lot worse than what Kavanaugh has been accused of – so none of my schoolmates are qualified to be justices on the Supreme Court.
    You’re also right about this being the newest weapon of the left. I’m not kidding when I say that, if this attempt to torpedo Kavanaugh succeeds, the left will use scurrilous and unverifiable accusations against every candidate a republican president nominates. They will only allow avowed leftists like Ruth Ginsburg on the court from now on.
    This cannot be allowed to stand.

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    • September 19, 2018 at 9:43 am
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      We are about to find out just how spineless the Republican Senate is or isn’t. My guess is he will be confirmed. But betting the farm on the swamp creatures is far from a lock.

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  • September 19, 2018 at 10:43 am
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    Her polygraph is already suspect. IF she actually had one, nobody will say who gave it, will show the results, the questions asked, etc. Just because her lawyer says so means nothing. They could have had her take a dozen of them until she learned how to do it right. She may not have had one and she and her lawyer are lying. Republicans should insist before letting her testify that she be tested by an independent operator with a good record. After all, she brought it up.

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    • September 19, 2018 at 11:05 am
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      I would just like to ask her why she was at such a disreputable party in the first place. Didn’t she know that spontaneous acts of heterosexual behavior can spontaneously manifest themselves in the company of drunk teenage boys and girls? It is shocking but there are recorded instances in the annals of human life. I remember (fondly) a few myself.

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  • September 22, 2018 at 5:41 pm
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    “It should be interesting to see if the republicans have the smarts to move through this quickly and get the vote in during the time table that they’ve laid out.” Nope, not a chance.

    So now the precedent is on public record that any and every candidate for anything who is not on the progressive approved list can be taken out by an unsupported accusation, with absolutely no collaboration or even possible verification, by virtually any female on the planet. And said female cannot be challenged or questioned.

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    • September 22, 2018 at 6:23 pm
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      The interesting thing is that off-setting the RINO Collins in Maine are at risk Dems in MO and WV and elsewhere. If they vote no on Kavanaugh that will more or less seal their fate in the mid-terms. That might make Kavanaugh’s approval after November a sure thing. We’ll have to see.

      Reply

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