How Exactly Can Joe Biden Run for President?

It’s not that his trademark sidle-up and grapple technique is exactly groping.  It’s too weird to be exactly that.  It’s some kind of Vulcan Mind Meld with a side order of Abortive Creepy Uncle Fondle Maneuver.  It’s too bizarre to ignore but too confused to easily categorize.

But how in the wide wonderful world we live in can Joe Biden lead the #MeToo party?

At last count there are at least seven separate women, most of them Democratic party operatives, who have declared themselves creeped out by Creepy Uncle Joe.  What percentage of women have to defect in order to swamp the USS Joe Biden?  It can’t be that many.

But was all this just a feint?  Is this supposed to allow the party faithful to be relieved when Joe slinks back into the retirement home and the real heavyweight jumps into the fray?  Is that Beto?  Is he neutered enough to allow the women to cast a sigh of relief at not having to vote for the shoulder rubber?  Or do we need to go all the way to Buttigieg to have a male Democrat that women won’t be nervous around?

Only time will tell.  But I have to say, the #MeToo movement is the gift that keeps on giving.  Trump tweeted that video of Biden explaining his grabbiness while in the background another Biden is employing the patented shoulder grab and hair sniff.  Of course, Plugs Biden really doesn’t have enough hair to sniff but the video is amusing.

And what’s next?  Will it be another Democrat senator or maybe the head of another stalking horse like the SPLC?  Or are there any news big shots left that haven’t been put on the spot?

What this might mean is that, as advertised by the dissident right, we may already have seen the last straight white male Democratic presidential candidate.  That honor may now belong to John Kerry.  Of course, a correction may set in if 2020 doesn’t go according to plan and Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg or Cory Booker goes down in a flaming landslide.  At that point it may be necessary for the Dems to rethink (or at least postpone) the white replacement strategy.  But it’s very interesting to see how the identity politics of the Democrats seems to be running into the fault lines that exist between the various components of the alliance that makes up the Democratic voting bloc.

And all this is happening in the foreground of the Mueller Report dud.  With President Trump crowing about his vindication and making veiled comments about counter-investigations and with the economy humming along it has to be worrying a lot of very important people in Washington that they may be about to see Donald Trump re-elected and possibly stuck with a Republican House that won’t be led by Paul Ryan.

Of course, this is all early speculation but I think the interesting thing to see is how the Democrats’ own radicalization of their constituency is shutting off candidates that have the widest appeal among the swing voters that they so desperately want to attract away from Trump.  Thank you, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, thank you, Ilhan Omar.  You are the gifts that keep on giving.  May you never successfully hide your crazy.

Sorry Creepy Uncle Joe.  Your turn is over.  I hope you enjoyed the ride.

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War Pig
War Pig
1 year ago

I wonder if Lightfoot may not throw her hat into the ring? She checks all the boxes. Democrat – check. Black – check. Female – check. Homosexual – check. Native American sounding name – check. All she has to do is take responsibility if there is a drop in violent crime in Chicago and she’s gold. Or blame Trump if there is no drop in violent crime. But maybe it’s too late for her to get going. But didn’t Obama come out of nowhere to pimp-slap Hilary? Biden will be forgiven if they think he has the best chance to… Read more »

Tyler, The Portly Politico
Reply to  photog

I still think Kamala Harris, shockingly, is the one that checks off all the boxes and can win, at least in the primaries (and might excite black voters in the general). She’s not pleasant, she’s basically a concubine, and some progressive don’t like her because she was such a strict prosecutor, but if she sops up the black vote here in the SC primary, she could cruise to victory. That said, there are so many of them, I’m not sure who is going to shake out. If you’ve got a Leftist Trump with good name recognition and a consistent 20-30%… Read more »

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