Reclaiming the Family – Part 3 – Recruit Grandma and Grandpa

Reclaiming the Family – Part 1 – Bring Back the Dowry

Reclaiming the Family – Part 2 – The Family Business

At least going back a generation or more a pattern of behavior has become established in the colder areas of the country that once people reach retirement age they head south to Florida or Arizona and live out their days in a retirement community.  And I suppose if you are sufficiently wealthy this would not prevent you from supporting and staying in touch with your descendants back North.

But in today’s world of limited opportunities and constrained resources another choice is to use your retirement and the resources you have accrued to reinforce and enhance your family’s opportunities.  Think about how difficult it is for a family with two working parents to provide the opportunities and attention that their kids need to grow up right.  If they manage to check their kids’ homework and get them to sports practices and games that’s probably taking up their whole free time left over from work and sleep.

Now as touched on earlier in this series it is much to be preferred that children have a stay at home mom to take care of them and make sure they’re staying out of trouble but even then, kids should have a lot more of their family’s time and attention.  For instance, who says a father is the only one who can bring the kids to a baseball game or a museum or a movie.  Why can’t grandpa do that?  And grandma is about a million times better at babysitting babies than a 15-year-old girl who will spend all her time on the phone while the baby sits glued to Sesame Street.

With respect to school work many of the baby boomers are STEM professionals and can not only help out with homework but can provide real world insights to children on what career paths make sense and which are dead ends.  For instance, if one of my grandsons asked me whether he should major in computer science or intersectional gender studies I think I’d be able to give him a very clear answer!

But this is just the tip of the iceberg.  Even the tradition of having the Sunday dinner at Grandma’s house does more for bonding the family than an occasional phone call to Florida provides.  And it may provide the opportunity for a request for financial or other help that otherwise wouldn’t happen.

And what are you sacrificing if you forego the condo in Florida.  Playing shuffleboard with other old people that you don’t even know?  Missing out on skin cancer?  Sure, maybe your arthritis won’t hurt quite as much but don’t forget those alligators that are waiting to pick you off at the mail box.  And how does that stack up against teaching your grandkids how to fly a kite or telling them about the time their great-great grandfather shot it out with armed robbers from the running board of a car.

And there may even be a payback for you besides satisfaction.  When the day comes when you are against it and your time is up maybe there will be someone to shed a tear and say a kind word at your bedside instead of just a text message from up North to say goodbye.

 

8 thoughts on “Reclaiming the Family – Part 3 – Recruit Grandma and Grandpa

  • November 27, 2019 at 2:27 am
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    Some good points.

    Most of the millennials were raised by their grandparents. And they seem to be helping with their great-grandkids. My hat is off to them.

    When most GenX women chose a single life of hedonism, their kids were often neglected. It was standard in the 1980s and 1990s for children to be remanded to the custody of their grandparents by courts because their drug-using birth moms wouldn’t take care of them properly. States like Oregon and Washington had policies actively tried to keep the children in those drug-abusive situations, frequently requiring lawsuits to force the agencies in question to consider the welfare of the children.

    Some 83% of GenX women use cannabis and a great many have already passed on from 20-30 years of use. (My first crush passed on this summer, beating the odds by making it to 51 years old. She is not unusual in that she killed one child via Fetal Marijuana Syndrome, and murdered the other two by abortion.) Typical onset of drug use was 13 and the typical first sex was 15.

    Typical causes of mortality resulting from cannabis use in this age group currently include COPD, lung cancer, various dementias such as Early Onset Alzheimers, heart arrythmias, heart failure, liver failure, various neurological diseases, suicide, violent crime, and traffic accidents (the CDC recorded some 35% of fatal traffic accidents were caused by DUI via cannabis in 2017, with alcohol at 28%).

    The ECCDMA indicates the typical mortality for street drug users in the 40s, with it not mattering much in years which drug us abused. Meth had the shortest lifespan, being in the early 40s and pot had the longest, being in the late 40s. Street drug users had 3.3x the number of diseases of the general non-drug-using public.

    GenX men. 19% used pot. Typical age for first sex is indeterminate with most GenX males never having had sex. Some 11% of GenX men sired children with more than 80% of GenX women. The lack of genetic diversity of fathers has created many problems, with many genes not being passed on and the dangers from pandemics being increased. in addition, with so many half-siblings, it is always a danger for millennials that they are dating a close relative with no way to know it.

    Millennials have a great many more genetic-related diseases such as asthma, allergies, and diabetes. Those raised in daycare were exposed to 1890s NYC tenement levels of harmful bacteria and viruses prior to the immune system being fully formed by age 6 and have a large number of chronic illnesses as a result.

    21% of GenX women married after high school or college and raised families. Most of them stayed together. The other 79% mostly had kids out of wedlock, with a disturbing number of the Millennial generation being sired just after a party or during a party.

    In the Christian realm, nationally some 80% of GenX born-again believers in 1990 were male. The ratio is 83% to 17% now, due to males getting Saved and GenX females dying from various drug- and STD-caused illnesses. The results of the 1990s Promissory Ring campaign had a 90% failure rate for the women and less than 10% for the men. 7% of born-again Christian males married due to the lack of available mates.

    Amazing what bad teaching does to people. Gnosticism and feminism were taught in most churches starting in the 1970s, and feminism was taught in public schools from the 1970s on. Add in the adoption of feminist doctrines into various bodies of law from the 1980s on and I’m just amazed at how well so many Millennials did. The rediscovery of marriage by the Millennials, the rediscovery of Jesus Christ by Millennials, and the rejection of antisocial philosophies taught them in public school and college has been amazing to watch. The media has all but ignored the renaissance of the family.

    William Hunt
    MSEE, BSG, BSCET, ASCET
    30+ ratings in the sciences and technology.
    10 books, various articles, and so on.

    Reply
    • November 27, 2019 at 7:36 am
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      Hello William, thanks for the comment. Very interesting but depressing information. My wife has a friend whose daughter is one of those lost to drugs. Her mother adopted one of her children out of wedlock but the daughter is a lost soul and is arrested and jailed regularly for theft and other crimes associated with her drug use. It’s very tragic to hear. But grandparents can make a difference in the lives of their children and grandchildren and possibly avoid some of these terrible situations.

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  • November 27, 2019 at 9:05 am
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    In the late 1990’s out family went to Florida to visit my mother-in-law for two weeks. We were a homeschooling family of 7. I am a nurse and worked parttime in those days.
    Everywhere we went we saw healthy 50 & 60 year olds enjoying their retirement. No kids in sight except ours. I remember commenting to my husband about the selfishness of these folks. Somewhere ‘up north’ were young families like ours struggling through the days, trying to get everything done- while this grandparents shuffled along in Florida.
    We are grandparents now and live within 15 miles of all but one of our kids’ families. The 17 grands and their parents visit a lot. We go to ballgames, pick up kids at bus stops, babysit when needed.
    Your FAMILY articles are dead on target. Well done.

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    • November 27, 2019 at 9:49 am
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      Hey Nana, thanks for the comment. I live in the Northeast and would love to escape to a non-communist state but my grandkids are here and there’s no way my wife and I are going to abandon our own flesh and blood.

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  • November 27, 2019 at 1:06 pm
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    Very true statements. I’m not even retired, and we perform all these tasks when needed. We had 4 girls, and it was pretty rugged getting them to dance, volleyball, softball, etc. We didn’t get a bit of help. With 11 grandchildren, we totally understand, and wow, we enjoy it. We even moved closer to all of them for their convenience.

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    • November 27, 2019 at 1:32 pm
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      Hey Tony:
      Thanks for the comment. I know I’m preaching to the choir with a lot of people on our side of the aisle but if this gives even one grandparent the idea to pitch in for the grandkids I’ll feel like I did some good.

      Reply
  • November 27, 2019 at 3:28 pm
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    We moved to California from Ohio in the 60s when dad got transferred from North American Aviation to Rockwell/Rocketdyne and went to supervise the making of the boosters for the space program. Mom took a fall at the ice skating rink at the Topanga Plaza and had to have bone chips removed from her brain. Her father came out to stay with us kids until mom was back on her feet. Six months. Dad had to keep working to provide the health insurance and also to feed us and pay the rent (even back then California rents were horrible compared to Ohio). Since papaw was retired and his other daughter lived across the street from his home, he could leave mamaw there while he came out. He cooked, made us kids clean, took us to school functions and all the rest of the things mom would have done. He took us to visit mom at the hospital so she could remember us (she had temporary amnesia and did not know she was married or had kids, initially). She had lost twelve years or memory in the fall and skull fracture.

    Papaw was always a hoot. He had a little larceny in his heart and was a lot more lenient than mom had been about what we did. He aided and abetted me and my brother’s carbide cannon incident, for instance. We had fruit trees in the yard and he’d go out and pick oranges and make fresh squeezed OJ for us at breakfast. He make pancakes and biscuits using buckwheat flour.

    Later, after the space program ended and massive layoffs happened in the aerospace industry, we moved back to Ohio. Dad got a supervisor job at a plant that made wheels for US military vehicles. We were close to both sets of grandparents. We kids worked on our paternal papaw’s farm and also rode with our maternal papaw when he delivered frozen chickens. Me and my brother loaded and unloaded chickens and papaw drove the truck. On the farm we drove tractors and other farm equipment and the pickup truck, too. We baled hay and straw and put it up in the barn. Me and my brother ate like starving Clydesdales but worked it all off on the farm or the chicken runs. Sis stayed with mamaw on the farm and helped her. At our other papaw’s house she helped mamaw bake pies for the local restaurants while we helped papaw with the chickens.

    Later, when I was a papaw, I took care of my grandson. My wife got to see and hold her grandson before she passed. Since I had no wife and was retired, I concentrated on being papaw for my grandson. I babysat while my daughter and her husband worked. They dropped him off for breakfast and picked him up after supper. All day we played and did things together. To the playground, fishing, walking in the woods. When he was school age I picked him up from school and we goofed off or I helped him with homework and we had supper together. I would not trade my time with him for a billion dollars. This year he graduates college. Hopefully, I’ll live to see some great grandchildren.

    Reply
    • November 27, 2019 at 3:41 pm
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      Well War Pig I suspected I must be preaching to the choir with you but I know of grandparents who thought their job was done when the kids hit eighteen. I’ll bet there are a bunch who know they were wrong after the fact. I figured it makes sense to just remind folks that the old way was the right way.

      Reply

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