Morning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi

Trump vs Morning Shmoe and Lycra

 

Dramatis Personae: Morning Shmoe – (MS);  Lycra Spandexy – (LS);   President Trump – (PT); Kim Jong Un (KJU)

Scene 1- 8am, MSNBC, Set of the Morning Shmoe talk show;  

MS – Welcome back from that commercial break and it’s the cube root of 27 minutes after the hour and we’re here at the set of the Morning Shmoe Show.  And Lycra Spandexy and I were just saying how we’ve never been more in love or more sure that Donald Trump’s presidency is seconds away from imploding before our eyes.

LS – Yes, that’s right Shmoe, very, very in love and very, very close to imploding.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – And continuing on our discussion of the bromance between Trump and Kim, I just wonder how Donald Trump feels knowing that he has become just as much of a laughing stock as that other tin pot dictator Kim Jong Un.  After all he may not be as short and fat as Kim but he’s just as much of a psychopath and just as ugly.

LS – Yes that’s right Shmoe, very, very much a laughing stock and very, very ugly.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – Hmmm.

LS – Oh, look!  Producer Jorge says we have a caller on line one.  Go ahead caller.

KJU – You listen good Lycra Spandexy and Morning Shmoe!  This Kim Jong Un, Supreme Dear Leader of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.  You really piss me off.  Maybe my friend Donald Trump let you get away with this stuff but I no will.  You are in deep doo doo.  You make fun of me?  Hah, I make fun of you!  What kind name Lycra Spandexy?  Sound like the sports bra.  And Morning Shmoe?  You some kind of Fourth Stooge?  Hah, Hah!

LS – Oh yeah?  Well your name is really funny.  Don’t you know Kim is a girl’s name?  Like Kim Kardashian.

MS – Honey, I don’t think you should engage.  I think the directive in these situations is to remain calm and shelter in place until the back-up arrives.

KJU – Too late you foolish losers.  I already sent team to your apartment.  You aware that Korean cuisine includes dog, right?

LS – Mr. Toodles?

KJU – That right.  I now finishing off Toodles with Noodles. Very hot and very tasty.

(Lycra becomes hysterical)

MS – You fiend!  I’ll call the State Department and have you arrested.

KJU – Don’t bother.  Diplomatic immunity.  And I already in flight and over Atlantic Ocean.  Plus, I no think Donald like you two too much.  You piss him off too.  So goodbye losers.  Better not say more about me or you might end up on menu for my shark tank.  (call ends in a dial tone)

MS – (with Lycra in the background keening shrilly for Mr.Toodles)  Well this is a black day on Morning Shmoe.  Not since the 9-11 attacks has anything as shocking occurred.  In fact, as we all know, the 9-11 attacks were the fault of Islamophobia whereas this murder is strictly the fault of Donald Trump and his Axis of Evil with a dictator who will remain nameless because of reasons.  I would declare a morning of mourning but we really need the paychecks to cover the wedding expenses we incurred.  It was an event wedding in Hawaii and Lycra had a lot of Eastern European relatives to fly in.

LS – (breaking out of her wailing dirge)  You were the one who wanted Hawaii.

MS- Whatever!  Well anyway, goodbye everybody and may your morning progress.

Trump vs Kim Jung Un and the Bad Example

Trump vs Kim Jong Un and the Shanghai Noon

 

Dramatis Personae: President Trump – (PT); Vice President Pence – (VPP); Melania Trump – (MT); James (Mad Dog) Mattis – (JM); Kim Jong Un (KJU)

 

Scene 1- 8am White House West Wing; Oval Office; President Trump sitting at his desk with the office phone on his ear.  Vice President Pence is just entering through the door.

VPP – Mr President?

PT – (speaking into the phone) Sorry, let me call you back, somebody is interrupting.  (hangs up) Mike, what?

VPP – Sorry to interrupt Mr. President, but you haven’t screamed my name looking for me since before you left on your trip.  I was wondering if anything was wrong.

PT – You know Pence, it’s not always all about you, you know.  Maybe sometimes I call other people up when I need something.  That is possible isn’t it?

VPP – Well, sure, I guess.  But I have grown accustomed to your early morning summons, so you know, I was just kind of surprised by the quiet.

PT – Yeah, well, don’t worry I’ll make sure and let you know when I need you.  Now go ahead and get your first morning nap before you get cranky.

VPP – Alright Mr. President, goodbye. (as he goes to close the door on his way out he sees that President Trump is once again talking on the phone)

PT – Yeah, I got rid of him.  Honestly, I don’t know why I hired him but mistakes can be corrected.

Scene 2:  Outside the First Lady’s Office in the White House later that day.  In front of the door Vice President Pence and Secretary Mattis meet up.

JM – Hello Mike.

VPP – Hi Jim.  Were you called here too?

JM – Yeah, what’s it all about?

VPP – Well, the way things have been going around here only a fortune teller could know. (he knocks on the door)

MT – (calling through the door),  Come in Mike and Mad Dog. (they enter and close the door behind).

VPP – Hello Melania.  Good to see you again.

JM – Good afternoon First Lady.

MT – Hello Vice Mike and Mad Dog, please sit down.  The reason I have summoned you is because Schmoopey is acting very strange.

JM – And by “Schmoopey” ma’am you mean?

MT – Ah, forgive me.  Schmoopey is the pet name that Donald and I use for each other.  It is a Seinfeld reference, is it not?

JM – I wouldn’t know ma’am.  Jerry Seinfeld is some kind of hippie, I believe, so I’ve never seen him on the television.

VPP – Melania, could you be a little more specific about the President’s behavior.  Opinions may differ on very strange.

MT – He is obsessed with Kim.  That is all he thinks about all day.

VPP – Melania you must be wrong.  When Kim Kardashian came to the White House that was just a public relations event.  She means nothing to the President.

MT – No Vice Mike.  I mean that fat little psychopath Kim Jong Un.  They talk all day and night, laughing and joking.  And the more he talks to Kim the scarier he gets.

JM – Ma’am, what do they talk about?

MT – They talk about making their enemies disappear.  Someone must stop this.

VPP – Melania, I’m sure the President is just pretending to be Kim’s friend to get his cooperation.

MT – I do not think this is so.  Schmoopey has been very angry with the Fake News.  I think he is looking to get the revenge.

JM – Ma’am, what can we do?

MT – You must break the evil spell that holds him captive.

VPP – Melania, we’ll help the President.  Don’t fret.

MT – Thank you gentlemen.  Now I must get back to my memoirs.  Goodbye.

Scene 3:  That night; White House Teleconferencing Center, President Trump sitting in front of a teleprompter with Kim Jong Un’s image projected in front of him, Mattis and Pence entering from behind him.

PT – So did you really boil the entire Nork Press Corp in honey and feed them to bears?

KJU – You bet you I do!  And then I feed bears to sharks.  Very, very funny.

PT – Well, my short fat friend, you certainly have your own style.  But I’ll settle for results.  Did I tell you how I eliminated sixteen rinos without firing a shot?

KJU – Ouuuh, rhino horn good for the rub rub.

PT – Maybe, but these rinos had already had their horns and their genitals removed before the event.

VPP – Mr. President, may we have a word with you?

KJU – Donald, these dogs are interrupting us.  Have them fed to sharks!

PT – No Jung Un the sharks are already full, besides I still need these servants for a little longer.

KJU – I bored.  I go. (screen goes blank)

PT – Jim, Mike what do you want?

VPP – Mr. President, we’ve heard some disturbing reports about your behavior.

PT – Schmoopey ratted me out!

JM – Mr. President, that little psychopath Kim can’t be trusted.  You said so yourself last month.

VPP – That’s true Mr. President.  I remember you were afraid he’d try to poison you.

PT – Yes, but that was before we became friends.  Now he’s shown me how to deal with the Fake News, Crooked Hillary and the Deep State all at the same time.

JM – But we’re Americans, we’re the good guys we don’t murder other Americans just because of political differences.

PT – Are you telling me Hillary Clinton, Peter Strzok and Jim Acosta are loyal Americans.

JM – Hmmm, I get your point.

VPP – But Mr. President, that’s besides the point.  If you stoop to their level, they win.

PT – If you do blah, blah, blah they win?  Who do you think I am, W?  Mike, you and Mad Dog convene the Cabinet for a special meeting.  I want to get the whole team’s ideas on some of Jong Un’s “special techniques.”

VPP – Mr. President, why don’t we start with just the three of us?  I’m not sure Jeff Sessions would survive it.

PT – Yeah that may not be a problem for much longer.  Okay, let’s get down to brass tacks.  Sessions isn’t going to do anything about the mess in the DOJ or Mueller.  My friend Jong Un sent me plans for his built-in shark tank.  I have it installed under the floor in the White House basement and whenever I want a problem to go away I invite the “problem” for a heart to heart chat and a stroll around the basement and before you know it the problem is a just a greasy residue to be filtered out of the tank water.

VPP – Mr. President, that’s monstrous!

PT – Would that count for Joe Biden?

JM – Hold on Mike, maybe we should hear him out.

VPP – No!  Not even for Creepy Uncle Joe.  Look you are just allowing yourself to get swept up in the whole Caligula thing that Kim Jong Un has going on.  Remember how that worked out for Caligula himself.  Or Nero, or Hitler or any of those other psychos.

PT – Well Stalin did alright.

VPP – But this is America, it’s not the Soviet Union yet.  Look at it realistically.  If all your enemies start mysteriously disappearing, like they do around the Clintons then you’ll be treated the same way they are.  Everyone will fear and hate you.  You’ll never get re-elected and after you die your corpse will be desecrated.

JM – They might call you Crooked Donald.

PT – Never thought of that.  That would be bad for the Trump brand.  Alright, you’ve convinced me, no shark tank.  But I have to say, you guys are nowhere near as much fun as Jong Un.

VPP – And I have some more bad news for you.  You’re gonna have to break off your bromance with the short fat maniac.

PT – No way, he’s fun and he’s got a great head of hair.

VPP – Yes, way.  Melania is very upset with you and if you don’t straighten up she’ll bolt.

PT – Schmoopey?  I can’t have that.  Okay, you win, I’ll break up with Jong Un.  But you guys are gonna have to raise your game.  If I get too bored I’ll have to reconsider the shark tank.

JM – How about a pinochle game on Thursday nights?

VPP – Charades?

PT – (under his breath) Shark tank.

CTH is Going To Be Busy With the IG’s Report for a Very Long Time

Sundance over at CTH will be mining gold out of that report until long after Peter Strzok is wearing stripes in Sing Sing.  Honestly, the list of broken laws and examples of political bias are endless.  Our servant masters have grown arrogant indeed.

IG Report: FBI Agent Peter Strzok Sent Weiner Sealed Indictment To His Personal Email…

 

The Anti-Anti-White Position

Back on May 28th John Derbyshire wrote an article called “Electoral Gold for the Stupid Party—the Anti-Anti-White Vote.”  The gist of the article is that the white population of the United States may finally have reached the point where being demonized by the Left will force them to vote the self interest of their racial identity rather than political affiliation.  And the way it was couched was that even people who normally considered American identity as a non-racial concept would recognize that they were now being attacked for no other reason than because they were white.  And that rather than allow themselves to be victimized any further they would vote their own interest.

This seems to me to be a very useful way to look at the situation.  It recognizes the need for a defensive action to counter a hostile race-based ideology.  And it allows people to determine who is part of the problem and who is not.

The first category are the egregious offenders.  These are the people teaching our children about “white privilege” and patriarchy and anyone who uses the term cis-gender in anything other than an ironical way.  These people are trying to destroy this country by any and all means possible.  Examples of this group would be Antifa and that psychotic assistant professor, Melissa Click at the University of Missouri who assaulted the journalist and called for “some muscle” as she tried to remove journalists from a campus protest.

The second group is anyone who thinks these people make sense or even think they’re harmless.  These people are helping or at least tolerating this dysfunction.  This is a very large group and includes all of the people on the Left and also people on the right who can’t or won’t see what’s happening.  This would include people like Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush or any of the NeverTrumpers.  These people are just as big a problem as the first group.

The third group is anyone who doesn’t fall into either one of these first two categories.  By the logic of the Alt-Right it will soon include the majority of white Americans and no one else.  That assumes that every other racial group will see disenfranchising white people as the best strategy to advance their own interests.  But I hold out the hope that by strenuously resisting the Anti-White propaganda and labelling it as discrimination we can convince large numbers of other groups to avoid accepting these positions and eventually delegitimize them all together.

And the best way to resist this Anti-White agenda is to support Donald Trump.  By his executive actions and by his judicial appointments he is bending the federal government away from the support that the Obama administration and its judicial appointments were giving to this agenda.  But in addition, we must make sure that every other elected official we vote for is on our side.  Whether it’s the Governor, Mayor, Town Councilman or PTA Representative.  And we need to look at the companies we patronize.  We should always let a company know if it is working against our interests.  Complaining and even boycotting an offensive corporation is a good way to get our message out there.

One thing I’ve recently begun is to compile a list of Right-leaning (or at least non-Left leaning) businesses.  I call it my “Directory of Right Wing Businesses.”  Currently it’s a rudimentary effort in only a few categories but my intent is to solicit information from site visitors and other sources to make it comprehensive.  In this way I would like to provide a resource for people who prefer to support people who believe in the same things they do.  This will also make it less likely that they will be de-platformed by a website hosting service or a monetizing company if that company objects to their ideology.  If you have any suggestions please drop by and list these companies for others to benefit from.

And finally I like the framing of the movement as a resistance to a discriminatory practice.  I think it links it back to the larger issue of Anti-White practices now codefied into the US Government.  I am referring to all the racial and sexual entitlement programs that actively discriminate against white people in general and straight white men in very particular.  These need to be recognized as unjust and addressed along with these other egregious ideas.

CTH links to the IG’s Report on the Clinton Investigation

https://theconservativetreehouse.com/2018/06/14/here-it-is-inspector-general-report-on-fbi-and-doj-conduct-during-clinton-investigation-full-568-page-pdf/

Sundance ends the post with this Caution “Important note.  Read, but don’t focus on, the “executive summary” or “conclusions”; those two sections were written by political administrators in FBI and DOJ leadership.  Focus on the substance of the documented facts within the IG report.  You’ll note the specific facts don’t support the “summary/conclusion”.  Analysis will follow.”

I hope he’s right.  The conclusion is unbelievably weak.  The corrective actions sound like Fred counseling Genghis Khan after the Sack of Samarkand to wipe his boots before tracking blood and entrails into Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood.  If I were President Trump I’d demand that the DOJ prosecute Strzok, McCabe and Comey to start and fire any and all of these losers up to and including Sessions if they drag their feet getting this done.

Of course, I’m interested in Sundance’s analysis but I was hoping for something a lot more scathing than this.

photog Goes Full-Pollyanna On the Trumpocalypse

Any fans of Tropic Thunder know by analogy that you never go full-Pollyanna.  And it would be wise for me to tamp down any outbursts of unbridled enthusiasm but I gotta tell you I can’t do it.  And this isn’t predicated on the IG report burying Comey & Company or Mueller calling it quits in the near future or even the Republicans holding onto the House.  I no longer think any of those things are required for Trump to get some big things done.  The country at large is starting to see what really is going on in their government and I think they see who is doing things that help them and who is not.  The G7 press conference and the Singapore meeting have provided President Trump with a stage from which to address the country directly.  They are seeing an active leader who actually addresses American concerns in the international arena.  Even his enemies like Bernie Sanders have no choice but admire his negotiating talent and ability to get off the dime with such tough customers as China and North Korea.

I think Donald Trump is intent on using his instincts for deal-making to renegotiate the globalization project in a way that re-establishes America as a manufacturing nation.  And I think Trump wants to dump all the international relationships with countries that hate America.  And that is my favorite side of him.  He is a vindictive bastard who holds a grudge like nobody’s business.  By a funny coincidence, so am I.  It would warm my vendetta-loving heart to see him giving all our many false friends in the United Nations a hearty heave-ho over the side of USS America First.  Every tin-pot Latin American, African and Middle Eastern dictator who ever chanted death to America should get evicted from his digs on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and sent packing back to the inhuman hellhole he came from.  And I think he intends to use the NAFTA negotiations to address the illegal immigration problem.  After all, why would you give free trading access to a country that openly advocates flooding your country with illegal aliens?  And I think the NAFTA negotiations are the basis for President Trump’s statement that Mexico will pay for the wall.  He will make them pay for the NAFTA agreement with a closed border and repatriation.

So that’s why I’m a big old optimist.  And every day The Donald says or does something that makes me smile or chuckle with unrestrained schadenfreude.  Every shot he takes at Hollywood or The Press or The Swamp or the Dems is music to my ears.  And now, even when I hear of the latest anti-Trump atrocity (like by that imbecile De Niro), I am only mildly amused to think that these buzzing gnats are impotently attacking a giant that doesn’t even have a weapon small enough to use on them.  They can only be mocked or ignore.

Of course, this does leave me with a problem.  Ginning up outrage is sorta my whole stock in trade.  I’m going to have to find a new source of outrage.  Hmmmm.  Well, I could go after nuns.  I still owe them payback for the 8th Grade.  That might work.  Okay Sister Gertrude, put on your game face, it’s on!

10JUN2018 – Looking Ahead to the News Week That Will Be

Camera Girl and I hosted some friends last weekend that we haven’t seen in almost thirty years.  Suffice it to say we had a lot of catching up.  Kids, grandkids, deaths, relocations, you name it.  And we definitely ate too much and stayed up too late.  So, I sort of lost rack of events.  I knew the G7 was going on and I read that the North Korean summit was coming up but I didn’t really pay much attention to the actual dates.

I come to find out that the G7 is over and the North Korea summit is coming up.  So, I watched a clip on CTH  https://youtu.be/WC0qDoAE2H4  of the President’s press conference after the G7 and in anticipation of the summit.  Man, this guy is so much fun.  He just bats these idiots in the press around like they’re punching bags.  I love the bravado and the shots he takes at his enemies and the pounding away at the message, “the era of taking advantage of the United States through tariffs is over.”

And when one reporter asks him a loaded question, Trump shoots back, “Who do you work for?”  When the reporter admits CNN, Trump smirks and says “Knew it, fake news.”

So, this week we have G7 results, North Korea summit and the report from the DOJ Inspector General.  The G7 was an example of pygmies posturing around a giant and not doing a very convincing job of it.  Trudeau from Canada made noises as if he were going to put Trump in his place.  But instead Trudeau just looked like a three-year-old holding his breath hoping to get his way.  With respect to North Korea, Trump was honest and said it was slightly better than fifty-fifty as to outcome.  But he seems fine in the knowledge and stresses that just making the effort is a worthwhile thing.  Personally, I have no illusions about the reliability of Kim.  But I definitely think something positive may develop simply because Trump likes to stir the pot and see what develops.  It makes me hopeful that he may interject himself personally into other areas of foreign affairs.

But the elephant in the room is the IG’s report.  At this point expectations have gotten so high that it’s almost inevitable that it will be a let-down.  Let’s face it, anything short of McCabe pointing the finger at Loretta Lynch will feel like the opener rather than the headliner.  I mean let’s face it, unless someone pretty big is facing a decade in prison he isn’t going to spill his guts on his bosses.  And make no mistake that’s the only thing short of firing that will put Mueller out of business.  I think the report is fifty-fifty.  It could be dynamite, it could be a nothing burger.  If no one is getting arrested (or at least indicted) I’ll consider it a huge disappointment and a major setback for the President’s agenda.

But just to reiterate, watching a President Trump speech or news conference is incredibly entertaining and encouraging.  I’ve said a million times, what we really need is for Trump to name a successor (not Pence) before the end of his term.  If we could bottle what he’s got it would make it possible to turn the table on these awful leftists and their endless onslaught against normalcy.

Trump vs The Big Boredom

Dramatis Personae: President Trump – (PT); Melania Trump – (MT); photog – (PH)

Scene 1- 8am White House West Wing; Presidential Living Quarters; President Trump and Melania sitting at the breakfast table

PT – Schmoopey, I’m telling you, I can’t take it anymore.

MT – Schmoopey, what is all this big deal about? What can you not take more of?

PT – Washington, I can’t stand this place anymore. It’s so boring. I’m ready to jump on Air Force One and go hang out with Putin.

MT – No, please Schmoopey do not. There are terrible women there who do not know what a shower is and so they wet the bed. Be wise. Stay far away from them.

PT – But I’ve got to do something or I’ll explode. Think of something.

MT – Can I call Vice Mike? He is a smart man.

PT – Nooo!!! He’s more boring than Crying Chuck Schumer. Maybe I should go see Bubba Clinton.

MT – You will not call that awful, awful man. The way he stared at me during your in-swearing made me think of the devil. Lying Hillary must be a witch to live with such a devil.

PT – Well then who is left?

MT – You must summon the photog.

PT – What, that loser? He’s no fun.

MT – But he knows about the boredom. He is after all poor.

PT – That’s true, I’ve seen the truck he drives. Sure, I’ll call him. If worst comes to worst I can have the Secret Service waterboard him, that might be fun.

MT – And you are smiling already!

Scene 2 – 8pm White House West Wing; Oval Office; President Trump sitting at desk, photog just entering the door.

PH – Here I am Mr. President.

PT – What the hell took you so long? I called for you ten hours ago.

PH – Mr. President, I was at work when you called. I didn’t get your call until I got back to my desk after a three-hour morning meeting.

PT – Desk? What about your cell phone?

PH – I don’t own one.

PT – For pity’s sake, what are you, Rip Van Winkle?

PH – They seem like an annoyance to me.

PT – Sure they’re annoying but how can you get anything done without one? How do you get your messages and read your tweets?

PH – Yeah, I manage to muddle through with a laptop and a land line. I don’t “tweet.”

PT – You’re like that frozen Neanderthal. They should put you in the American Museum of Natural History.

PH – Yes, that’s what they should do. Anyway, how can I help you.

PT – Well after finding out what a luddite you are I’m pretty sure you’re not the guy I should talk to about overcoming boredom. You’ve got snooze tattooed on your forehead in three inch letters.

PH – Well since you’ve already dragged me here why don’t we take a stab at it anyway. Why are you bored?

PT – What a stupid question! I’m bored because Washington is the most boring place on earth. Everybody is a phony and a liar and a loser.

PH – Actually that is true. Why don’t you get out of Washington once in a while and talk to some actual humans instead of Washington pod people?

PT – I can’t. The Secret Service keeps me penned up in here like a zoo animal.

PH – Well, they let you do those arena events where you talk to the crowd.

PT – Yeah, but that’s just me talking. I’m pretty much sick of hearing myself talk and tweet and everything else. I want to get some interesting talk.

PH – Hmmm. Well how about your voters? They’re an interesting group.

PT – photog, if you’re representative of them then I can’t afford to let them know just how much I despise them. For instance, I can barely restrain myself from having the Secret Service waterboard you just to shut you up.

PH – Thanks so much. Well look, the people who voted for you run the gamut from idiots to geniuses, saints to sinners, billionaires to bums. If you want to hear some interesting stuff figure out how to engage all these people in some communication with your government. You tweet, but that’s a few words at a time and it’s a one-way flow of information. You need something like your rallies but with some kind of messaging. Maybe a live stream event. If you can get a team to sift through the messages you’ll find a gold mine of interesting questions and suggestions. And you can craft answers to those questions and you’ll find that it will capture the imagination of the right wing if they feel like they can talk to the President. And you’ll have interesting things to talk about and you won’t be bored.

PT – You know, that’s not the stupidest idea I ever heard.

PH – So, do you think you’ll do it?

PT – Either that or nuke Sweden. It’s six of one, half dozen of the other.

PH – Wow. Well, is there anything else?

PT – No, you can go now. Don’t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out. But make sure you tell the Secret Service that the aterway oardingbay is ancelledcay.

PH – Good seeing you again too, Mr. President.

 

On a more local note I’ve been intrigued by the general dearth of comments.  Now this is my first blog so maybe it’s how it works but I’m curious, so I have a survey poll on it.  I’ll leave it on the next few posts and I look forward to the info I get.