Trump vs It’s a Good Life (Part 1)

Dramatis Personae: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez – (AOC); Nancy Pelosi (NP); Al Gore – (AG); Narrator who looks and sounds like Rod Serling – (NRS); Barack Obama – (BO); Michelle Obama – (MO);

 

Scene 1- Unknown Office building; 8 pm Mid-July

A narrator, who looks and sounds a hell of a lot like Rod Serling circa 1961, is standing in front of a map of the United States

NRS – Tonight’s cautionary tale is most unusual and requires that we imagine the following.  Here behind me is a map of the United States.  But what if suddenly it disappeared (whole map goes dark except one point of light) and all that was left was a tiny dot called Washington D.C.?  Now imagine that within this tiny world there was no longer radio, television, the internet, telephones, gas engines or even electricity.  And assume that the only thing that farmers were allowed to grow was vegetables.  No beef, pork, chicken or fish.  And finally imagine that even wishing for any of these things was now a death sentence executed by a monster.  If you can imagine all that you’ve just entered the Bizarro Zone (well I couldn’t use the real name).

Scene 2 – A ramshackle farm building with peeling paint and a wooden porch with a porch swing with an old haggard woman fanning herself with a piece of paper.

NRS – And here is the lair of the monster, a farmhouse with all the misery of pre-industrial life on display.  Over there in the swing on the porch is Aunt Nancy Pelosi, she once had the most influence over the monster but one time she hinted that maybe eliminating all private jets wouldn’t be a “good thing” and she was reduced to the cracked-brain non-gavel wielding hag you see before you.

NP – Hey not so much of the hag thing.  I just got another facelift and I’m a damn good-looking babe, you male chauvinist pig.

NRS – As I was saying, the monster does not like to be contradicted.  Oh, and I’ve forgotten to introduce the monster.  She’s a bug-eyed petulant millennial Latina from the Bronx who can’t even spell climatology but don’t be fooled.  There’s a nasty mean streak behind that googly eyed expression and what passes for a brain is completely in charge of her surroundings.  Meet Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or as she’s known to her fawning minions A-oh-see. (swift view change to show AOC trying to get something unstuck from between her horse teeth with her pinky nail, then noticing the camera and glaring in a cross-eyed scowl.

Scene 3 – Same farmhouse from the viewpoint facing the road.  An overweight man (Al Gore) on a delivery bicycle is straining along the driveway to the house.  On the ground in front of the house A-oh-see is playing in the dust.  He pulls up in front of her.

AG – Hi, there A-oh-see.  My it’s good to see you today.  Whatcha doing there?  Whatever it is it’s sure good, but I was just wondering what you were doing there.

AOC – I was figuring out how many white men it takes to pull a wagon for ten women of color in the next Cinco de Mayo parade.

AG – Oh, that’s a real good thing.  Why I never knew so much good figuring going on as you sure can do.

AOC – Yeah, go away now, you’re starting to make me mad.

(Gore quickly scurries away toward the house.  He carries some boxes into the kitchen and addresses Michelle Obama who is shucking corn in the sink)

AG – Hello Mrs. Obama, it’s certainly a good day today and we all just love A-oh-see so much, that’s right, she was out there figuring and figuring and it was just great.

MO – Hello Al.  Yeah, it’s certainly a great day all right and we’re real happy here, we are.

AG – I brought you some things for the party tonight.  I’ve got corn flour and whole wheat flour and baking soda.

MO – Have you got any white flour for the cake?

AG – Oh, we don’t have any more of that.  Not since A-oh-see explained to us just how evil white is.  No, we don’t want none of that, we don’t.  I mean we used to think it was useful but it’s real good that A-oh-see set us straight on that.  Well not straight, we don’t say straight no more we don’t, no sir, I mean no ma’am, Ma’am.

MO – Yeah, it’s funny how you forget how things used to be when you could just say something without being afraid.

AG – Oh, it’s good that you said that but I don’t think you mean it because it’s much better now that we don’t say anything that A-oh-see says is bad.  It’s real, good.

MO – That’s right, it’s real, good.  But last week when she was denouncing honey because it was stolen from bees, she got so excited from screaming that her eyes were extra bulged out and I thought maybe her blood pressure might be reaching maybe five hundred or something, mumble, mumble, mumble…

(Al Gore looking panicky and grabbing his box and heading for the door)

AG – I better be getting on, but can you let A-oh-see know that I got her corn flour that she likes so much?  Can you tell her it was me who got it specially for her?

MO – I sure will Al.  But don’t worry she hates you much less than most other white men.

Scene 4 – Same farmhouse, upstairs where Barack Obama is putting on his tie for the party.  He looks in the mirror and sees A-oh-see staring at him in her friendliest cross-eyed frown.

BO – Oh, hi there, A-oh-see.  It’s good that you were standing behind so quiet like.

AOC – None of the other congress persons came to play with me today.  I wanted congress persons to play with today.

BO – Yes, it’s good that you wanted them to come but last time you denounced Debbie Wasserman Schultz to the Congressional Black Caucus as a Zionist collaborator and they shaved her head and painted it red.  Folks were awful upset about that.

AOC – But I want to play with other congress persons.

BO – Tell you what, we’ll invite some of the rinos.  They’ll be so grateful just for being asked that they’ll come even if you do denounce them.  they’re used to it anyway.  Anyway, A-oh-see everybody loves you.  You’re everybody’s favorite.

AOC – But I remember one time that somebody thought bad things about me.  I can’t remember who it was.  Who was that?

BO – Oh, that was Joe Crowley, after you beat him in the primary.  He said you weren’t qualified.  But don’t worry, Michelle had the FBI and the IRS defenestrate him so he won’t bother you anymore.

AOC – That’s right Joe Crowley, he was a bad white man, a very bad white man.  I hate anybody who doesn’t do what I want.

BO – But everybody loves you A-oh-see, you’re everybody’s favorite.  Now come on, let’s get ready for the party.

 

To be continued …

The Twilight Zone – Complete Series Review – Season 3 Episode 8 – It’s a Good Life

Okay, so this is it, this is the payoff.  This is the quintessential Twilight Zone episode.  Not even I dare to dispute the primacy of this one.  This is the A+ by which all other episodes are measured against and found wanting.

Rod Serling is standing in front of a map of the United States when the whole thing goes dark except for one dot on the map that he tells us is Peaksville, Ohio.  He tells us that the people there don’t know if the rest of the world was destroyed or if they have been removed from the rest of reality but either way, they are cut off from everything else.  And he tells us that this was done by a monster and that the monster rules this little world through fear and intimidation.  He has eliminated electric power, automobiles, radio and television and all other modern conveniences.  Then Mr. Serling shows us the monster.  It’s a cute little six-year-old boy named Anthony Fremont.  He can read thoughts and he can create or destroy anything he wants to just by thinking it.

Next, we see life in Peaksville.  A grocery store bicycle delivery man shows up at the Fremont farm and says some polite things about the three headed gophers that Anthony is playing with just in time for Anthony to get tired of it and kill it with his mind.  And then he sends it into the cornfield which means it disappears.

The deliveryman talks to Mrs. Fremont about the things that have run out in the store and about the tomato soup that he found because he knows Anthony likes it.  And we meet Aunt Amy who has been crack brained since Anthony stopped her from singing a while ago.  Anthony likes music but not singing.  And then we see Mr. Fremont in his room getting ready for a party that night and talking to Anthony about his day.  Anthony says that no children came to play with him and he wanted them to.  His father reminds Anthony that last time children visited him he sent them to the cornfield and if he keeps doing that eventually there won’t be anybody left.  Just then a collie dog starts barking outside and we find out that Anthony doesn’t like dogs, so soon we hear a yelp of pain and the dog joins the three headed gopher in the cornfield.

That night is a dual celebration.  Anthony will present one of his occasional television shows and it is also Dan Hollis’s birthday.  The television show is a vicious battle between two triceratopses jabbing each other with their horns and attempting to throw each other off a cliff.  When one dinosaur is victorious the television goes blank and Anthony declares, “that’s all the television there is.”  Ethel presents her husband Dan with two birthday presents, a bottle of brandy and a Perry Como record album.  Dan speculates that maybe they could listen to the instrumental introduction before the singing.  But Mr Fremont declares that it would be too risky.

While the rest of the party gathers around while Anthony listens to Pat Riley play the piano Dan Hollis starts getting drunk on his brandy.  Initially he just becomes maudlin about the dwindling supply of whiskey but eventually he starts railing against Anthony and blaming his parents for bringing him into the world.  When Anthony becomes angry with him, Dan tells Anthony, “that’s right you think those bad thoughts about me and maybe some man whose had enough of this will take some something hard across your skull and end this.”  For a second it looks like Aunt Amy is reaching for a fireplace poker but then she backs off.  Anthony says to Dan, “You’re a bad man, a very bad man and you keep thinking bad thoughts about me.”  Then he points his finger at Dan and as a shadow on the wall we see Dan turn into a jack in the box.  Then we see Dan’s face bobbing as if on the jack in the box.  Mr. Fremont begs his son, “please son, send it to the cornfield.”  And he does.  Then he warns Ethel Hollis that she better not think bad thoughts or he’ll do the same to her too.

While everyone tries to put a happy face on what has happened, they notice that it’s snowing (in the summer).  Mr. Fremont starts to say that that will destroy half the crop but then he squelches his thought and finishes off by saying it’s a good thing that Anthony made it snow.  And finally, he says with all the sincerity of a man with a gun to his head that tomorrow is gonna be a real good day.

This is the best Twilight Zone episode.  It’s the vision of hell on earth.  It’s a petulant child with the powers of life and death.  The story is original, creepy and fun.  A+

The Twilight Zone – Complete Series Review – Season 3 Episode 7 – The Grave

A western themed Twilight Zone with Lee Marvin, Lee Van Cleef and Strother Martin, what’s not to like?  Lee Marvin is a bounty hunter named Conny Miller who comes home to find that the man he’s been hunting for months, Pinto Sykes, arrived back in town ahead of him and was finished off by an armed deputation of eight townsmen who opened fire on him all together.

The men tell Conny that before he died Pinto told them that Conny wasn’t really trying to catch him because he was afraid of Pinto.  And Pinto left word that if Conny ever showed up near his grave he would reach up and grab Conny.  Conny declared that he was never afraid of Pinto in life and he certainly wasn’t afraid of him now that he was dead.

Two of the men, Johnny Rob and Steinhart (played by Lee van Cleef) each bet Conny a twenty-dollar gold piece that he won’t visit the grave that night.  Another man named Mothershed (played by Strother Martin) said he would have bet against Conny too but he was out of cash.  Conny covers the bets and is about to leave when the men ask him how they will know if he really went all the way onto the grave.  It’s decided that he will stick a bowie knife into the earth and leave it there for them to see in the morning.

When Conny gets to the graveyard he meets pinto’s sister Ione Sykes who seems slightly unhinged and who laughs and tells Conny that Pinto is waiting for him.  She leaves and he heads for the grave.  At this point Conny is extremely jumpy and he pulls his gun when he hears something clanking in the high wind.  But he reaches the grave and plunges the knife into the grave.  But when he turns to leave, he seems to be pulled down onto the grave.

The next day the men are worried that something has happened to Conny.  They meet Ione who is going to place a dinner plate on Pinto’s grave as a memento.  When they get to the grave, they find Conny dead on the ground and are horrified.  But Steinhart explains it all as completely natural.  He theorized that Conny was very scared but managed to plunge his knife into the ground but as they could see he plunged it through the hem of his long coat and when he tried to get up, he felt the tug of the coat held by the knife and imagined Pinto was pulling him down and had a heart attack.  This seemed logical but Ione, who was wearing a long cape noted that the wind last night was the same as it was then and showed them that the wind couldn’t have blown his coat across the grave.

A very amusing ghost story with some of the best western actors of the time.  A-.

The Twilight Zone – Complete Series Review – Season 3 Episode 6 – The Mirror

Peter Falk is Ramos Clemente, who is a stand in for Fidel Castro.  Clemente and his four lieutenants are celebrating their victory over and capture of the former dictator De Cruz (a stand-in for Battista).  The five friends toast each other with the wine they’ve captured in the Presidential Palace.  De Cruz is brought in and Clemente taunts him with the prospect of a slow torturous death.  De Cruz dismisses his taunts and rails at Clemente with the reality that now he was the new dictator and he would be living in fear of the next avenging angel to follow.  De Cruz follows up by telling them that the ornate mirror on the wall of the Presidential Office is magic and will show Clemente the face of his would-be assassins.  Clemente sends off De Cruz to his fate but we can see that de Cruz’s words have hit home in Clemente’s mind.

At this point one of Clemente’s lieutenants upbraids him for treating De Cruz in an extralegal fashion.  He insists that Clemente cannot murder De Cruz but must have him tried in court.  Clemente explodes at him and calls him a fool and dismisses his criticism as stupid.  But when Clemente turns away from his critical comrade, he sees in the mirror that this man is now holding a gun as if he means to shoot Clemente.  But when he turns back to the man, he has no gun and isn’t even looking toward him.  But now Clemente remembers De Cruz’s words of the magic mirror.  He accuses the man of plotting his murder.  And immediately Clemente pushes his comrade through the balcony doors and throws him down to his death.

Now two of his other three lieutenants are shocked and agitated and upbraid him for what they see as insanity.  By the way one of these two is dressed and made up to look like Che Guevara.  Clemente argues with them and when he turns to the mirror again the two men are shown with a gun and knife.  He tells the two men to go down to the prison and make sure De Cruz hasn’t escaped.  They go reluctantly and as soon as they are gone, he calls the gate of the prison and tells the guards to kill his two lieutenants when the appear.  Then he tells the guards to let him know when it is done.

Facing his last comrade, he asks him whether his turn will be next to turn on Clemente.  The man says that there are two kinds of men, followers and leaders and he himself will follow Clemente until that day when he no longer thinks Clemente is the strongest.  But he also tells Clemente that he can never again think of other men as his friends.  A dictator has no friends, only followers or rivals.  This seems to satisfy Clemente.  Next the lieutenant answers the phone and informs Clemente that his two men have been executed by the prison guards.  This seems to depress Clemente and he turns away.  But when he looks in the mirror again, he sees his last comrade leering at him and holding a glass of wine.  When he turns around the man is not holding any wine.  When shortly after the man offers Clemente a glass of wine, he assumes the man is trying to poison him.  He slaps the glass out of his hand and accuses him.  The man mocks him for believing in magic mirrors but despite this Clemente shoots him dead.  Now he is alone.

In the next scene the Catholic priest in charge of the area comes to Clemente and demands that the firing squads that have been working around the clock killing De Cruz’s men end.  Clemente refuses saying he will kill off all his would-be assassins.  The priest leaves but he tells Clemente that all dictators always miss the one real assassin.

As he leaves and closes the door Clemente in desperation throws his gun through the mirror and a few seconds later the priest and the guards outside the door hear a shot ring out and enter to find Clemente has committed suicide.

At the time Castro was in the news having just overthrown Battista and taken control of Cuba.  Of course, no magic mirror overthrew Castro and he only finally died a few years ago but Peter Falk is so much fun to watch in this thing as a crazy Latin American dictator.   A-

The Twilight Zone – Complete Series Review – Season 3 Episode 5 – A Game of Pool

Jack Klugman plays a small-time pool player named Jesse Cardiff.  He is bitter that even fifteen years after the death of pool master Fats Brown everyone still considered Fats the greatest pool player.  And he rails at a photo of Fats on the wall of his local pool hall and says, “I’d give anything, anything to play him one game!”

In the next scene we see Fats Brown (played by Jonathan Winters), apparently up in Heaven, and he’s being summoned by some kind of celestial appointment intercom.  He heads down to Earth and appears in Jesse Cardiff’s pool room and tells him his wish has been heard and Fats is there to grant it.  The catch is that the stakes for winning and losing are life and death.  Now Jesse is taken aback.  Sure, he’s anxious to prove his skill but betting his life seems nuts.  But Fats goads him and mocks him until he agrees to the bet.

They now engage in a long, skillful and fiercely fought game of pool.  At last it comes down to one ball and it is obvious that Fats has thrown the point and he tries to give Jesse one last chance not to take the crown of being the greatest pool player in the world.  But Jesse sinks the ball and wins.  Fats congratulates Jesse and leaves with a mysterious smile.  Jesse revels in his victory but then seems almost deflated by the anticlimax of having won.

In the next scene we’re back in heaven and Jesse is dejectedly sitting next to the celestial pool table waiting for the next challenge to take.  Being the champ is a grueling existence and Jesse must be envying Fats who Serling announces has gone fishing.

This is one of those goofy fantasy episodes.  Heaven arranges pool rivalries and allows life or death stakes on the outcome?  But who cares!  Jack Klugman and Jonathan Winters ham it up to the hilt.

In my family, pool was a bizarre fetish.  My paternal grandfather had a pool table in his basement.  But we, his poor grandsons were anathema and weren’t even allowed to hold a cue near “the felt.”  There was a shrine where an autographed photo of Willie Mosconi presided over the pretty terrible players that my grandfather surrounded himself with.  So, pool had the reputation of being a boring waste of time.  We preferred street football or stickball.  Watching these two pool players agonize over fractions of a millimeter and an invisible degree of angle is strangely familiar in its futility.  Funny thing is there was a full sized pool table in my basement when I bought this house so I make a point of letting the grandsons play on it any way they please.  “The felt” is starting to look less than pristine but I don’t mind and neither do they.

Obviously, I have no objectivity about this subject but I find myself always enjoying this episode immensely.  I’ll call it an A.

The Twilight Zone – Complete Series Review – Season 3 Episode 4 – The Passersby

The scene opens on a woman sitting on the porch of a southern mansion that has been devastated by the Civil War.  On the road in front of her home a stream of war veterans from both sides is limping along.  A Confederate Sergeant asks the woman if he can have some water from her well and she graciously agrees.  While he drinks the water, they talk about the war and its aftermath.  He was wounded and has a serious leg injury.  She has lost her husband in the war and was herself recently deathly ill with a fever.  To cheer both of them he asks if he can play his guitar and she gladly agrees.

As we see more of the soldiers who are passing on the road it seems obvious that they are unbeknownst to themselves actually the dead.  One Union officer who had helped the Sergeant when he was wounded is revealed to be an animated corpse that shows no meaningful effect when the woman shoots him with a gun.  She does this at a point when being reminded of the pain of losing her husband she vows to take revenge on the Union soldiers.  After this event the Sergeant knows he must reach the end of the road.  But just as he is leaving the woman’s husband is heard approaching the house singing a song.  The husband tells his wife that they are both dead and there is nothing left holding them to this world.  He says he is headed to the end of the road and if she does not come with him now, he’ll wait for her at the end until she makes up her mind to come.  The Sergeant heads off down the road and the woman’s husband soon after that.  She unsuccessfully pleads with her husband to stay and then collapses on the road in front of the house in sorrow.

Just then Abraham Lincoln shows up walking down the road and tries to persuade her to proceed.  He tells her he is the last man on the road because he is the final casualty of the Civil War.  At first, she refuses but then changing her mind she runs down the road to catch up to her husband.

The story has a sort of melancholy grace to it and the characterization of the woman and the Sergeant are very affecting and natural.  Serling uses Lincoln as a touchstone to represent the tragic consequences of war for both sides.  Although I don’t think it describes the complexity of the psychic wounds that still stalk the land, I recognize that he wants to allow grace for both sides in the conflict and that is admirable.  B.

The Twilight Zone – Complete Series Review – Season 3 Episode 3 – The Shelter

This story opens up in the home of Dr. Bill Stockton where his family and neighbors are celebrating his birthday with a cake and some speeches in his honor.  But as they are celebrating, a television announcement tells them to tune into the radio and listen to CONELRAD to hear a bulletin on an emergency situation.  The bulletin tells them that the Distant Early Warning radar has detected incoming objects that may be a missile attack.

The neighbors leave and run home.  Dr. Stockton, and his wife Grace and young son Paul start collecting supplies and fill water bottles before heading into their bomb shelter.  Just before they locked themselves in their neighbor Jerry Harlowe shows up and begs Dr. Stockton to let Jerry and his family share the bomb shelter.  Stockton explains that he can’t because the shelter only has the capacity to provide air for three people.  After a heated exchange Stockton locks the shelter door with Harlowe still outside.

Now the rest of the neighbors who were at the party show up and start panicking and come up with a plan to smash in the shelter door.  But then they start fighting about who gets to be in the shelter.  There are even the obligatory racist and anti-immigrant sentiments from one man against his Hispanic neighbor.

Just as they finish bashing in the door, they hear the CONELRAD announcing that the incoming objects aren’t missiles but a satellite and there is no danger.  The rampaging mob collapses in relief and shame.  They all start apologizing to Stockton and each other for their insane behavior.  When someone says that the bombs didn’t destroy them after all, Dr. Stockton says that maybe they’ve destroyed themselves.

So Serling reveals his liberal bona fides for all to see.  He manages to make a bomb shelter an Un-American abomination and reveals all of our neighbors and families to be racists and hypocrites.  Charming.

I’ll grant that anxiety over impending thermonuclear war might not have us acting like saints but painting us as Nazis is a cheap shot.  F.

The Twilight Zone – Complete Series Review – Season 3 Episode 2 – The Arrival

A DC-3 airliner lands in Buffalo NY and when the runway crew arrives at the plane, they find out there’s no one aboard.  No crew and no passengers.  The FAA sends Grant Sheckly their top investigator to solve the mystery.

Sheckly interrogates the airport staff and management and they can find nothing to explain the mystery plane.  But once they start describing the details of the plane inconsistencies start cropping up.  One man says the plane’s seats are blue another brown.  And even with all of the group standing next to the plane they can’t even agree on what number is painted on the tail of the plane.  But Sheckly thinks he knows what’s going on.

His theory is that there is no plane but that mass hypnosis has them convinced that they’re seeing one.  Sheckly says he can prove his theory by sticking his hand into the running propeller.  Enlisting the help of the group, they start the engines and he indeed walks into the propeller.  And just as he thought he is unharmed and the illusion of the plane disappears.  And after the plane disappears the group of people he has been questioning disappear too.

Now Sheckly goes running into the management offices of the airport and there he finds that the people in charge don’t know anything about an empty landing plane.  In fact, the flight he’s interested Flight 107 landed without incident earlier in the day and there was proof because a movie star was aboard and it made the newspaper.

Bu now the airport manager remembers Sheckly and that fifteen years earlier there was a Flight 107 that disappeared while on route to Buffalo and Sheckly had been the investigator.  It was the only case he was never able to solve.  After hearing this Sheckly leaves and walks out onto the tarmac and starts talking to the air asking what happened to Flight 107.  The end.

This episode sucks.  I guess it’s psychological.  But it’s heavy on the psycho and light on the logical.  You know how I feel about episodes where someone is shouting at no one.  Well here’s another exhibit.  Damn it Serling, come on.  Do some work and write an actual story.  D

The Twilight Zone – Complete Series Review – Season 3 Episode 1 – Two

Rod Serling tells us the town we see has been deserted for five years after a war.  He tells us this could be a century in the future or a million years in the past.

A shapely young woman in a military uniform arrives in the town.  Her face is covered in grime and she seems very wary of her surroundings.  Walking down the street she sees a building with a sign that says restaurant.  She walks in and rummages through the shelves until she finds a food can.  She opens it but before she has a chance to examine its contents, she sees a man enter wearing a military uniform different from hers.  She immediately throws a kitchen cleaver at him and follows it up with a frying pan.  He dodges the missiles and attempts to restrain her but she continues to pummel him with kitchen ironmongery so he clocks her in the jaw and knocks her cold.

The man (played by Charles Bronson) walks over to the can of food and starts eating the chicken drumsticks it contains.  On a personal note, the chicken always made me a little hungry but I think I might have hesitated to eat canned chicken that was over five years old.

Now the man goes over to the unconscious woman (played by Elizabeth Montgomery a very attractive actress of the day) and checks to see if he has broken her jaw.  Satisfied that she is intact, he picks up a pot of water and pours it over her face.  This revives her and she cowers at his feet.  Neither speaks the other’s language but he tries anyway to tell her that there is no longer any reason for them to be enemies.  He pushes the can of chicken toward her and leaves the building.

He walks down the street and finds a barber shop.  He gathers a razor and some soap and water and proceeds to give himself a shave.  Meanwhile, the girl has finished her meal and has followed him into the barber shop.  As he finishes his shave, he tosses her a bar of soap and she washes her face.  Now feeling slightly more human they walk out on the street together and inspect the town.  They walk over to the movie theater and see a poster for a war-time romance film which makes them smile but then they both notice two skeletons with rifles.  Each grabs a rifle and points it at the other but the man soon decides to just ignore the threat and walks away with the rifle strapped over his shoulder.  The girl follows behind him and they end up in front of a clothes store and they both look at a mannequin wearing an evening dress.  The girl says something that must mean pretty and the man goes into the window display and takes the dress off the mannequin and throws it to the girl.  He walks to next door and points to it to tell her to go inside and change into the dress.  After hesitating for a moment, she goes inside and he waits across the street on the curb.

Inside she begins to get undressed but the storefront is a recruiting station and there are pictures of the armed forces and they represent her army as the enemy.  This angers her and she runs out the door and fires two energy rounds at the man (so it is not the 20th century anyway).  She misses him with the shots but keeps the rifle trained on him.  He reacts in shocked disbelief but soon walks away and is gone.

In the next scene the girl is sleeping in the barber shop during a rain storm and looking very lonely.  The next day the man is on a second story porch putting on some civilian clothes and gathering some jars of preserved fruit.  When he looks down, he sees the girl’s head poking above a car parked across the street.  He yells to her to go away because, “this is civilian territory.”  But she walks around the car and he can now see that she is wearing the evening dress.  Smiling, he throws her a jar of fruit and walks down the street in front of her.  She hurries to catch up to him and lifts her dress to walk faster and we can see she’s still wearing her army boots.  She catches up to him and they walk on hand in hand.

Bronson and Montgomery are perhaps the least likely couple I could imagine in a love story.  But damned if this isn’t a very affecting and enjoyable teleplay.  It’s especially interesting that Bronson was given all the lines.  He is usually the strong silent type in his movies.  Good Zone.  A.