The Glorious Paradox That is Biden

In 1 Corinthians 9:22 St. Paul says “To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.”  To some extent, a presidential candidate must do that.  He must be all things so that all the various special interest groups can buy into his story.  And for a Democrat candidate that’s a very diverse group of special interests.  He’s got the black vote and the feminist vote and the Latino vote, the gay vote and the lesbian vote and now he even has the trans vote.  Well, that’s their shtick after all.  But this year threading that needle is going to be extra tricky for Creepy Uncle Joe.  Take for instance the feminist vote.  Tara Reade has made that sale interesting.  Although several feminists have openly said that even if they believe Joe Biden sexually assaulted Reade back in 1993, they would still vote for him in November.  Columnist Katha Pollitt puts aside all doubts about whether morality is involved in her election calculus.  She stated, “I would vote for Joe Biden if he boiled babies and ate them.”  Well that’s refreshingly honest.  Another woman, Lisa Bloom, flatly states that she does believe Reade’s claim but she’s endorsing Biden anyway.  And she’s a women’s rights attorney!  Ain’t that a kick in the head!

What all this tells me is that Joe is not going to energize the feminist vote.  And if the feminists aren’t feeling it, they’re not going to be very effective proselytizing their less strident sister in the next cubicle over.  I mean how persuasive is an argument that ends with, “So you see Joe Biden has many fewer rape allegations against him than his opponent.”  I think a lot of women will feel that argument leaves them a little underwhelmed.

Now let’s look at the black vote.  A few days ago, Biden had a video interview with a black social media personality who calls himself, and I kid you not, Charlamagne tha God (CTG).  On his radio show called the Breakfast Club he tried to pin down Biden on what gimmees he would promise to the black community.  But Biden resisted saying “You got more questions, but I tell ya, if you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black.”

Now this comment raised howls of anger from the African Americans on both the Left and Right.  But Biden’s supporters aren’t actually offended by the patronizing remark.  But they want him to know they haven’t signed on the dotted line.  They want a black woman as his running mate and they want money.

CTG stated, “If you created legislation that hurt [the black community], then you have to create legislation that helps. It’s just that simple. Like, the whole system needs to be dismantled and rebuilt,” McKelvey said in a Friday interview with CNN’s Erin Burnett. “He’s been a very intricate part of that system, whether you’re talking about in ’84 with mandatory minimum sentences for drug dealers, or you’re talking about ’86 with crack laws that gave you more time for crack cocaine than powder cocaine, or you’re talking about the ’94 crime bill, like he really was one of those people on the front line when it came to the war on drugs and mass incarceration.”  “If he wants to be president, he needs to fix that. He needs to really, really help the people that have helped Democrats all of these years,” he added.  And on another interview, he added he wants details on Biden’s “slavery reparations” stance.

To me it’s pretty clear that Biden’s support in the black community is extremely conditional.  To tie it up he will have to promise some extremely expensive programs.  And chances are he really can’t deliver on those.  And even more problematic, if he makes those promises it is going to jeopardize his support from other parts of his fractious coalition.

Now the final piece of the puzzle has less to do with the special interest groups and more to do with self-preservation.  Over the course of the last six months Joe Biden has made so many verbal gaffes that everyone including the republicans has stopped paying attention to them.  He not only commits factual errors like forgetting what state he’s in or what office he’s running for but he has on occasion lapsed into spouting gibberish in an attempt to finish off some thought that he’s lost the thread of.  It’s gotten to the point that even his own constituency has stopped denying that he’s becoming senile.  So, if you’re an independent and even if you’re not a Trump fan you’d have to hesitate before voting to put a man as intellectually compromised as Biden in charge of the largest thermonuclear stockpile on the face of the Earth.

So, there we have it.  The Democrats had to anoint Biden because otherwise Bernie Sanders would have been the candidate and he’s a Communist Loon.  But Joe is essentially a lying, plagiarizing, sex predator suffering from advanced senile dementia.  Oh, and he allowed his son to cash in on his political connections to the tune of about a billion dollars from China and the Ukraine.  It seems to me even taking into account the equivalent of the Great Depression descending on us after the COVID-19 debacle it’s going to be mighty hard to lift Joe Biden into the White House.  Even in these benighted times that may be too much to expect from the American people.  We’re nuts but we’re not Biden nuts.

Could Ukraine Be Allowed to Give Creepy Uncle Joe the Perp Walk?

A Ukrainian judge ordered that Joe Biden’s name be explicitly listed as the perpetrator  of a crime against the fired former Prosecutor General of Ukraine Victor Shokin.  I guess Biden bragging that he coerced President Petro Poroshenko to fire Shokin to avoid losing loan guarantees from Washington was too much for the current government to stomach.  Biden got Shokin fired because he was looking into kickbacks that Hunter Biden was getting from the energy company Burisma.

Ukraine judge orders Joe Biden be listed as alleged perpetrator of crime in prosecutor’s firing

Do you think the Ukraine could print out a wanted poster with Joe’s skeletal mug grinning from behind bars?  Maybe they could have him dressed in one of those old timey striped prison suits.  Could the Justice Department expedite the extradition to allow the Democrats time to select a different candidate for November?  Curious Americans would like to know.

 

Mika Brzezinski Versus Joe Biden, Clash of the Mindless

I was watching a video clip of Joe Biden being “grilled” by Mika Brzezinski over why he would not allow a search through his document archive of sealed Senate records at the University of Delaware.  I suppose in some sense there is some importance in the outcome of the “investigation” of Tara Reade’s assault charges against Biden.  Biden was categorical during the Kavanaugh investigation that a woman must be believed when she makes a charge of sexual harassment.  And he made it perfectly clear that in his mind Title IX demanded that any man in a college that was accused of sexual “crimes” should have all his rights to due process stripped away by the college administration and be subjected to summary expulsion at the whim of any woman who chooses to make an accusation.

For those reasons I guess I should enjoy watching Brzezinski ask Biden over and over and over why he won’t allow his archive to be searched for evidence on Tara Reade.  But it’s just so painful to have to listen to the two of them monotonously make the same points endlessly.  It’s like one of those Three Stooges routines where two hoodlums have overpowered Moe and Larry and are preparing to beat Curley to a pulp but somehow he and one of the gangsters get tangled up and are both wearing one half of a coat, each one of them has an arm in one sleeve and so Curley will swing and punch the other assailant and as the force of the blow pivots him around the guy he punched swings and hits the guy in the coat with him.  And the force of that blow pivots Curley back around again and he punches the same guy again.  This goes on ad infinitum until both gangsters are beaten to a pulp.  As humorous as this might be the first couple of times, after that it starts to get annoying.

I’ll give Biden credit.  In his present state of demented senility, I wouldn’t have thought it possible for him to keep track of the argument.  Granted they were the exact same words repeated over and over but based on what I’ve seen of Joe lately I assumed he would have been worn down and just started going into details of his assault on Reade and tried to justify it based on his importance as a Senator and her job description.  But somehow, he managed to repeat his talking points with only short lapses into incoherence.  Not once did he drool or stick his finger in his ear.  It was a virtuoso performance.

As for Brzezinski, I can’t stand looking or listening to her.  Everything she says and does is painful to sit through.  I consider her to be one of the stupidest or the most dishonest individuals in media.  It’s got to be one or the other and possibly it could be both.  But looking at her vapid face while she parrots whatever drivel she’s been handed is just too much for me.  When I started writing the Morning Shmoe parodies of Scarborough and Brzezinski I tried to make Lycra Spandexy as over the top as I possibly could.  But I don’t think I ever made her more absurd than the almost-real-world model she was based on.

And so, it was astonishing to me to note that I was rooting for Creepy Uncle Joe to somehow manage to escape from the mindless hectoring of Mika/Lycra.  I could hear myself thinking, “No Creepy  Joe, don’t get your arm tangled up in that coat with her.  Don’t slip on that banana peel.  Put your hand between your eyes before they get poked!”

It’s such a strange world.  In a sensible world I’d want Biden, Brzezinski and Jim Comey to be eaten by zombies searching for their non-existent brains.  Or at least I’d like to see them performing the work their talents qualified them for, namely picking up trash on the side of a highway with a pointed stick while wearing an orange jumpsuit.  But we live in a fallen world.  So, I guess it’s a good thing when MSNBC and Joe Biden are at an impasse as to which is stupider.

Friday Always Seems a Little More Optimistic

Yesterday I commented on William Barr’s lack of concrete progress in prosecuting the cabal of Deep State actors in the intelligence agencies that had tried to pull off a coup in 2017.  I was feeling pretty depressed about the whole thing.  Maybe it was a combination of being part of the ridiculous blue state cower-in-place strategy over the Wuhan flu and knowing just how much damage that policy has caused to millions of people across the country.  But today in the light of day and with a weekend coming up to enjoy I feel a little less gloomy.

After all I think about the things, I can be grateful for.  One of those things is Joe Biden.  If you could choose anyone to be the Democrat contender in a presidential race could you find anyone better than Creepy Uncle Joe?  If you go over his resume it’s simply breathtaking.  Here’s a man who comes ready made with quotes, video footage and democratic personnel who go on record disparaging his intelligence, his competence and most importantly his ethics.  Think of what can be done with hair sniffing, shoulder kneading, head nuzzling footage and a quote of what Tara Reade says Joe did to her back when she worked for him.  I can only imagine that will have a chilling effect on the suburban professional women’s vote in November.  I no longer think the Justice Department will do anything about Hunter Biden but what’s already out there should be enough to allow plenty of linkage to the whole China story.  Between the Wuhan flu and the past administration’s complicity in the off-shoring of American jobs to China it should be a very useful exercise to tie Sleepy Joe to China.  And finally, how easy will it be to take a few minutes of Joe’s verbal gaffes and nonsensical utterances to convince any but the most committed ideologues that Joe should be in an assisted living space and not the Oval Office.

And as the reports from various medical experts keep coming in it becomes easier to look beyond the confines of my blue state lockdown bubble and realize that for a large majority of the country, life will be returning to comparative normalcy very soon and with the help of the federal stimulus money economic recovery will be dramatic in many parts of the nation.  And that recovery will be exactly the right scenario to highlight the goals that the President stands, a strong American economy based on industrial capacity within the United States.  This can be contrasted to the Democrat strategies of elite prosperity coupled with universal unemployment underwritten by tech oligarchs who allow the poor to subsist on a UBI that robs their lives of dignity, purpose and hope.  And looking at the champions of this Orwellian future, at the Bernie Sanders’ and AOC’s of the democratic world, it looks easier and easier to provide the contrast needed to allow the voters the chance to choose.  Admittedly the American voting population is not uniformly rational and in fact there are whole swaths of people, especially in the blue states that will jump at the chance to institute the UBI and the Green New Deal.  But in the final analysis the Electoral College should still have sufficient actual Americans with enough intelligence to choose sanity instead of Democrats.

So, forgive my dark mood of yesterday and take heart.  President Trump is still in charge of the executive branch and William Barr isn’t the last word on justice and if he doesn’t get the job done he will be replaced by a less timid soul and I can still hope to see James Comey wearing the old timey striped pajamas working on that chain gang and using a sledge hammer to break the big ones into little ones.  O Brother, where art thou.

President Trump Says Obama Hasn’t Endorsed Biden Because He Knows Something We Don’t

President Trump is hinting that Creepy Uncle Joe won’t be the Democrat Candidate.

https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2020/04/09/trump_maybe_obama_hasnt_endorsed_sleepy_joe_because_he_knows_something_that_you_dont_know.html

He’s so much fun to listen to.  And I’m definitely not going to say he’s wrong.  I think the Democrats are panicked knowing that even though Biden prevented Bernie from being the candidate he himself is completely non-electable.  I mean, just think of it, he’s the closest thing since Bill Clinton to an unregistered sex offender as presidential candidate and he’s also suffering from late stage dementia.  The only way it could be worse is if his pants fall down during a debate.  So the only question is who do they unleash next?  Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbara Streisand, Oprah?  It most likely has to be an actor.  Empathy, at this stage, is all they can hope to use.

A Eulogy for the Losers

And just like that, we’re down to two.  Oh sure, Granny Warren is still in the race but after losing her “home” state there’s not much left to do but shovel some dirt on her carcass and call it a campaign.  A newly reminted Biden is ready to spout inexplicable nonsense all the way up to the convention.  Bernie is in a panic and will have to yell even louder and wave his arms even more wildly.  It’s going to be amazing.

But what I want to talk about is what is to become of the losers.  Just look at them.  Sure, technically most of them still have high paying jobs and health insurance but how can they go forward with their lives when they’ve been forced to say ridiculous things now for half a year.  All of them have raised their hands and said they believe in the Green New Deal and that AOC isn’t certifiably insane.  Beto O’Rourke even claimed he was going to take our guns.  And most importantly, they all made fun of the old white guys in the race.

And yet here we are and as far as the eye can see all there are is old white guys!  So, it’s not like these folks are gonna get much love from Biden or Bernie.  So, they’ll have to go back to work and make believe they’re Senators or ex-mayors or skateboarding Kennedy clones or whatever the hell Tom Steyer does nowadays.  But one thing’s for sure.  I’m gonna miss these crazy bastards.

Just think of all the fun and laughs we’ve had as each one explained how his plan was better than her plan, all without recourse to facts or even the magic of mathematics.  Watching Kamala tell Creepy Uncle Joe that he had made her cry when he wouldn’t let her be bussed to a good school.  Or ButtPete berating Amy Klobuchar for not knowing the name of the Mexican President.  Or Fauxcahantas shaking with rage as she declared that Bernie had told her a woman couldn’t be elected President.  And what about Spartacus trying to say anything at all?  His pop-eyed expression and goofy voice always cheered me up.  He never was coherent in any of the debates but he always looked so excited and hopeful, the poor little guy.

But my overall favorite was Beto.  He postured and swore and skate-boarded his way into our hearts.  I’m old enough to guess that he was put forward based solely on his resemblance to one of the Kennedys.  Some child of the sixties in a newsroom must have made it his project to give the hapless Beto just enough publicity to force him on the public eye.  Too bad they couldn’t get him to read from a better script.  Every time he opened his mouth the stupid came pouring out and destroyed any doubts about how empty his big head was.  So Beto is the poster child for the group.  What does he do now?  He’s not qualified for any useful task and he’s too well known to attempt a normal life as, say, a lifeguard or a movie usher.  His choices are either to be locked away in a mad house or given a show on MSNBC.  Interestingly enough, Chris Matthews’ “retirement” provides a ready-made spot for Beto.  His audience would be almost as stupid as he is and therefore reasonably willing to listen to him jabber on in Spanglish about how, “el hombre naranja est muy malo.”  You know the more I think about it the better I like it.  In fact, I think all failed Democrat politicians should be warehoused on MSNBC or CNN.  Eventually that much stupidity concentrated in one place should tear a hole in the fabric of space and suck the whole studio straight into another dimension, hopefully one inhabited by some Lovecraftian horror that can feast on their stupidity for millennia.

I know I’ve gone a little overboard but darn it I’m gonna miss those losers and I didn’t want to let them go without saying goodbye.

Creepy Uncle Joe – The Comeback … Kid?

How could I have doubted Joe?  Look at him go.  He’s got the Joe-mentum.  Poor Bernie.  So sad.  Poor Mike.  Poor Fauxcahantas.  Well let’s hope they can keep him going until November.  He’s been sounding pretty raggedy recently.  I wonder which historical figure he’ll confuse President Trump with when he’s trying to put him down?  Ronald Reagan?  Teddy Roosevelt?

Corn Pop, Leg Hair, Ukraine Money, Shoulder Grabbing.  Bring it on!

The Alice in Wonderland Election

Four years ago, Michael Anton named the 2016 presidential election the Flight 93 Election.  The analogy was that voting for Donald Trump was the equivalent of storming the cockpit to attempt to stop the Democrats (and Republicans) from hijacking and crashing the Unites States of America.

Unexpectedly it worked.  And over the last few years we have seen just how apt the Flight 93 metaphor was.  But we have moved well beyond the analogy because although we may have wrested the cockpit out of the hands of the terrorists, the plane is still taking anti-aircraft fire from enemy forces on the ground.

Well, enough of that metaphor.  Let’s try a new one.  A few days ago I reviewed the current state of the Democrat Presidential Primary and I declared that the only way they could get me to watch them was if I thought I’d get a laugh out of it.  Creepy Uncle Joe could get me to listen to his Tales of Corn Pop or watch him bite his wife’s hand but I wasn’t interested anymore in watching their boring debates or commercials.

But on closer inspection I think maybe boring is the wrong word.  I think the correct word is painful.

Let me elaborate.  When Liarwatha or Bernie starts yammering about the Green New Deal or Medicaid for All, the disconnection from reality is actually painful to listen to.  A sane listener experiences a jarring cognitive dissonance.  It’s like someone is scratching his fingernails across a chalkboard or when you bite down on a sore tooth.  So, it would take quite a bit to get me to listen to this stuff again.

And the same thing occurred when the Schiff gang began their little sitcom around impeachment.  Listening to Pelosi’s minions pretending to be Watergate investigators is just too tedious and nonsensical to follow for more than a minute or two at a time.  One of my friends sent me a link to the testimony Jonathan Turley gave at the hearings.  He is the one “expert” that wasn’t an obvious hack trying to legitimize the Schiff kangaroo court.  I listened to his measured and balanced discussion of what kind of presidential actions would and would not amount to an impeachable offense.  I found him credible.  But I also realized that he would not influence opinion one way or another.  Forty percent of the country would agree with him, another forty percent would call him a liar and the last Twenty Percent would be “unsure.”  The needle wouldn’t even twitch.  So why should I watch this stuff if it makes no difference at all?  I mean I think it’s good for our side to put their side of the story out there to make sure the Twenty Percent hears both sides of the story but for me and my readers there’s no new information provided.

Which brings me back to what I was saying the other day.  The only possible reason to watch the Democrats is for entertainment value.  Creepy Uncle Joe or foaming at the mouth commies will have to pull out all the stops if they want me to tune in.  The denizens of the Island of Broken Toys will have to really try to get me to watch.  Maybe a three stooges slap fight between Joe, Petey and Bernie or a hair pulling cat fight between Fauxcahantas and Hillary might get me to view but not much else.  I mean after the Swalwell fart it has all, more or less, been done.

So here we are with a United States Presidential Election going on, hundreds of millions of Americans making up their minds who will wield the most powerful office of the most powerful nation that has ever existed.  The occupant of this office, an office that has as one of its responsibilities deciding whether to launch a thermonuclear strike with the planetary extinction capability of the US nuclear arsenal, will be chosen by this process.  And as the leading opposition candidates for that job we have Creepy Uncle Joe, Liarwatha, Bernie the Stalinist and Butt Pete.  There is no other way to characterize the situation but as a bizarro world scenario.  The classical description is Alice in Wonderland.  We have a normal observer, Alice, confronted by a world where everything is inverted and the normal rules of nature are suspended.  She struggles to cope with the inconsistency and outright madness but finds herself unable to do more than move from one absurdity to the next.  In this analogy no one would try to make sense of the Mad Hatter or the Queen of Hearts.  It would be futile.  Admittedly some people find this amusing but a steady diet of this sort of thing results in the experience I noted at the beginning of this essay, jarring cognitive dissonance.

To my mind the sensible way to address this election is to try and sway the Twenty Percent by highlighting the positive results and agenda of President Trump and exposing the absurd and dangerous positions and bizarre behaviors of his opponents.  This is what the talking heads on the Right need to do.  They need to pound away at Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi and the Deep State that handed them this hot mess.  It’s up to Bill Barr and John Durham to connect the dots on what the Russia and Ukraine scandals are really about.  If it turns out that Hunter Biden was part of a bigger payday for the Obama administration then that will cook Joe Biden’s goose for sure.  But even without that I think we’ll see our side prevail in 2020.

For me this though this is not the mission.  I preach to the choir.  There’s no need to bang that drum.  You all know all this.  My job is to provide my opinions and hopefully amuse.  So, I don’t want to bore anyone with logical arguments as to why the Democrats are wrong about this or that policy position.  You all know they’re the enemy.  I don’t have to convince you.  What I need to do is find some interesting things to discuss about the world we live in and make fun of the evil cretins who want to make us Orwellian slaves.  And that’s what I’ll do, I will chronicle the evil, stupid, absurd and insane doings of the Progressives and their allies in the Media and the Deep State.  That is my mission in the Alice in Wonderland Election.  So down the rabbit hole we go.  Hopefully we’ll meet on the outside again after we wake from the nightmare.

 

Is This Really It?

Don’t the Democrats have more than this for their Impeachment Circus?  Can they keep this going for more than a week?  If not, I think they’re going to be upstaged by whatever balloon mishaps occur during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  In the classic Seinfeld episode, I believe it was Woody the Woodpecker who suffered a puncture wound and deflated on top of Elaine’s boss Mr Pitt.  I’m sure at this point Woody has been retired in favor of some kind of trans-gender super hero but either way Pelosi et alia are going to have to come up with some kind of show stopper.  Perhaps they can perform a séance and have the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein accuse President Trump of strangling him in his New York jail cell.

Honestly, the only thing I can guess is that the DNC is so desperate for Creepy Uncle Joe to be the candidate that they had to do something crazy like this to stop the investigation into Hunter’s pathetic graft expedition in the Ukraine.  And I don’t see how this helps.  If there is anyone on the planet at this point unaware that Joe used his position to force a foreign government to cancel an investigation of his son’s shakedown activities it could only be among coma victims.

The good thing about this feckless farce is that it gives the Republicans the perfect center piece around which to campaign against them.  If they had any wit about them at all, they would seize on this as the embodiment of an infantile and malign force that possesses no positive qualities and is only meant to act as a brake (resistance) to an actual agenda.  Pushing for a border wall in light of the Cartels’ victory over the Mexican Army would be a winning strategy.

But I have little if any faith in the Republicans at this point.  They are only slightly less useless than Pelosi and her crew.  At the rate that the Republicans are retiring from the House it may soon be a strictly Democrat establishment.  It’s a pity.  It seems as if President Trump will be forced to do the whole thing by himself.

Well I’m actually very busy getting work done so that I can have some time off around Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I’m impatiently waiting on Horowitz’s report and the subsequent indictments by Barr’s staff but I haven’t the patience or interest in reading any of the half-witted descriptions by the desperate MSM propagandists of the side show that Schiff and Pelosi are attempting to sell.

So, unless Pelosi is going to do a geriatric strip tease or Schiff is prepared to perform an Aztec sacrificial slaughter on the steps of the Capitol, I’m going to have to decline paying any further notice to this sad non-spectacle.

But bring on the next crazy show by all means.  This one isn’t funny enough.  In fact, I think I’ll re-watch the Seinfeld episode.  Watching Mr. Pitt struggling with the deflating Woody the Woodpecker balloon was way funnier than this.  Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.