On Thursday President Trump is scheduled to debate Creepy Uncle Joe Biden for the final time. The Democrats, or more specifically, the part of their organization that runs the debates, has decided that during each candidate’s assigned speaking period they will mute the microphone of his opponent. Now that’s interesting. It’s got me thinking, when Toobin thought his microphone was on mute he exposed himself and performed unspeakable acts. Might not Joe Biden do the same? And if the moderator reacts to it will Joe just say, “Oh come on man I heard you liked me.”
Another thought I had was this. If the moderator hears President Trump spilling the beans on Joe Biden’s various crimes might not she be tempted to mute him even though it’s his turn? I think this might happen. I’ve got to confess I’m really looking forward to this event. I think it will be hilarious and possibly amazing. The previous debate was wonderfully bizarre and based on the set up of the Hunter Biden expose earlier this week I expect the President to unload on this guy with both barrels.
But what everyone wants to know is what else is on the hard drive. Up till now it’s been pretty straight forward. But what if they’ve held back some really crazy stuff for the debate and it gets debuted there? I don’t have any information to that effect but knowing what a showman Trump has always been I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he unleashes a bombshell.
So now you understand why, from my point of view, tomorrow night’s debate is so fascinating. For all I know Trump has staged things so that Creepy Uncle Joe will be taken directly into custody as he exits the stage. I mean between Joe and Hunter nothing like this has existed since Tiberius Caesar took Caligula under his wing and showed him how it was done.
But let’s assume instead that nothing like that is going to happen. This will still be the first Presidential Election Debate within the modern era where one of the candidates and probably actually both candidates will accuse the other of being a criminal, a liar and a traitor right on the stage. You can’t ask for more drama than that.
Now that our politics will never go back to the mealy-mouthed days of Mitt Romney we at least can look forward to candidates calling each other horrible things out loud and uncovering the dirt that’s always been there but has been hidden from sight by the mutual consent of both parties to shield them from the wrath of the voters should their countless acts of graft and corruption ever be uncovered. But of course, I’m forgetting, that would require the Justice Department to investigate and prosecute these crimes. Sort of like investigating the Hunter Biden hard drive that they’ve had in their possession for nine months and did nothing about. Silly me.
Anyway, tomorrow’s event is must see tv. Joe will be hopped up on Ritalin and I guess there is some risk that his eyes will start bleeding again and his head might explode. But that is a risk I am willing to take. It is my patriotic duty to sit there and laugh uproariously right through every historic moment and then later on play back the best parts for even more laughs. I should dig out my old copy of I Claudius and re-watch the scenes with Caligula so I’ll have something to compare Hunter to when I do a separate post on him. Stay tuned.