Trump vs The F.B.I.

Scene 1 (White House, Oval Office)

President Trump (PT) – Look Jeff, I’m glad that Comey is finally out of there but you’ve got to clean out that nest of bozos over there right away.  I’ve got to have the FBI doing some real work.  Between the narcotraficantes and the street gangs Americans are losing faith in the government.

Jeff Sessions (JS) – Mr. President, we’re firing and reorganizing as quickly as we can but there are just so many Obama plants in the FBI that it’s like trying to swat a cloud of mosquitoes.  You’re still gonna get bit.

PT – That bad?  How many useful agents are there?

JS – I’d say about 40%.  And there’s just no easy way to segregate the good from the bad effectively enough to control the problems.  When we restrict the classified clearance of the known bad actors they jump on someone else’s computer and steal info off the database when they get a chance.  And how can you stop that?  It’s hard to tell one guy in a cheap suit and a bad haircut from another.

PT – Never disparage a guy in a cheap suit and a bad haircut.  He could be the next Commander in Chief.

JS – No offense intended sir.

PT – And none perceived.

JS – Exactly.

PT – Well, Jeff, something’s gotta give.  I’ll discuss this with my highest counsel and get back to you.

JS – Ivanka?

PT – No, Schmoopy.

Scene 2 (White House, West Wing)

PT – Hello Schmoopy.

Melania Trump (MT) – Hello Schmoopy.  Why do you have on the sad face?

PT – Because the FBI is full of bozos.

MT – Schmoopy, what is the bozos?

PT – A bozo is a clown.

MT – But the bozos should make you smile and laugh.  Do they wear the funny face and the big shoes?

PT – No they wear the cheap suit and the bad haircut.

MT – Well that is the problem.  I never laugh at the cheap suit and the bad haircut.  It is not funny but very sad.  Why do you not make them wear the bozo suit?

PT – Because no one would put up with that.  He’d quit first.

MT – Would that be so bad.

PT – No Schmoopy.  That would be kinda good.  Thanks.

MT – That reminds me, I’ve got to bring in the tailor and the barber for you.  We must look our best Schmoopy.

 

Scene 3 (FBI Headquarters – Jeff Sessions addressing the Executive Leadership of the FBI divisions)

JS – President Trump has formulated a strategy to streamline and optimize the reorganization of the Bureau.  Effective immediately the organization will be divided into two groupings.  The new division will start out essentially empty.  It will contain a new director whom I will select and an administrative staff. This division will be augmented by any of the existing personnel of the Bureau who can be reliably vetted as effective agents.  This new division will be designated the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Agent Smith (AG) – Mr. Sessions, won’t the other division still be called the FBI.

JS – Yes, it will in fact be called the FBI.  This older grouping will start out with all the personnel of the current Bureau.  It will be up to the rank and file to facilitate their transfer to the new organization.  They can do this by telling us where the “bodies are buried.”

AG – Why exactly would we want to leave our present positions?  We have a pretty good organization and we like the way things are done now.

JS – Well, there are some changes coming down the pike.  For one we’re changing the dress code.  Here is a visual on the standard attire that will be expected starting Monday.  Of course, some variation will be accommodated for gender and ethnic considerations but essentially this is your new look.

AG – Sir, that’s a photo of Bozo the Clown.

JS – Yes, the beloved Icon of the 1960s and ‘70s.  You all will don the face paint, big red squeaky nose, orange hair tufts, size twenty shoes and colorful puffy jumpsuit of Bozo.  This will incentivize you to consider helping us clean out the rat’s nest of Obama bitter clingers and fifth columnists.  Also, it will allow us to easily monitor your proximity around sensitive information and systems.  Standard operating procedure will be to check for clowns before leaving your work station unattended even for a second.  And on your official government identification badge will be emblazoned your new department name FBI – Feckless Bozos of Imbecility.

AG – You paint a vivid picture Mr. Sessions.

JS – We want to make this decision as clear as we possibly can.  You will stay in your present structure under the new arrangement.  You will be assigned duties that include Saturday Morning Children’s Television and outreach to pediatric hospital wards.  Classes in juggling and seltzer squirting marksmanship will be mandatory.  This will go on until either:

  • You show us you can work for the country instead of against it.
  • We find out you were involved in the leaks.
  • You resign.

AG – Go to hell Sessions.

JS – Ah, ah ah!  That’s a Bozo no-no!

You Mean the Sky is Not Falling?

Andrew Klavan has been making me laugh and think since I found him at PJ Media about a decade ago.  His “Klavan on the Culture” videos were hilarious and brilliant skewering of leftist thought and action that brightened up many a depressing day of the Bush and Obama presidencies.  He continues his video presence on the Daily Wire but he put up an article at PJ Media that was linked on Real Clear Politics     ( https://pjmedia.com/andrewklavan/2017/05/05/thanks-gop/  ) that I think addressed the endless negativity that not only defines the MSM but also infects right wing publications on a daily basis.  Klavan is far from a Trump cheerleader.  He’s a smart guy who sees the contradictions we are living with.  The alleged intellectual leaders of the republican party were complicit with the progressives in handing over the government (all three branches) to radicals who have basically dismantled our world and reassembled it into a grotesque parody that assaults our moral and physical senses with its depravity.  The spectacle of men masquerading as women in every corner of the public space is only the latest symptom of the systemic infection that has been allowed to overrun the normal outline of our world.  It’s a case of life outdoing art and so much so that a Fellini movie would now be considered a taming down of the real world.

So, the thesis of his article is that Trump and the Congress should be cut a little slack.  They have lately been making headway in reining in the excesses of the former administration and have even made some progress toward improving the situation.  One point that I thought was important, was that Trump took advantage of a rule (the Congressional Review Act) that allows any government regulation less than 60 days old to be deleted with almost no effort at all.  He set about the job of negating all the poison pill regulations that Obama enacted after finding out Trump had won the election.  Klavan noted that the New York Times (“a former newspaper” as he always adds) decried this Trump action, in a tear drenched article, as a part of the demolition of the Obama legacy.  This panic on the left hardly jibes with the non-stop lamentations that the right wing has been ululating for the last week or so.  So, what is going on then?  Who is right?

Isn’t it lucky for all of you that I’m here in all of my Olympian objectivity and divine wisdom to pronounce on who is right and who is wrong and the generic whichness of what?

Of course it is.

Well they’re both right (of course).  The right wing faithful are rightly aggrieved at the current state of affairs and the slowness of improvement.  With the Presidency, the Congress and the Supreme Court all nominally under right wing majority you would expect the guillotine working overtime piling up the severed heads of progressive malefactors at the base of Capitol Hill.  You would imagine Nancy Pelosi, Barack Obama, Harry Reid, Hillary Clinton and Barney Frank would be in the docket trying to plead for clemency while a special prosecutor was loading up a list of high crimes and misdemeanors long enough to reach the orbit of Mars.  Rats like Stephen Colbert, Lena Dunham and Al Gore would be reduced to pushing shopping carts around on the streets of Los Angeles hoping to score a cheese rind or grapefruit peel from the dumpster behind the local Trader Joe’s.

And the republicans in government are right to remember how the American people punished them for shutting down the government when Clinton rejected their budget balancing work in the 1990s.  That left a mark that they never forgot.  Careers were ended and democrats took seats in red states.  It’s pretty much a truism that people get the government that they deserve.

So I’m going to throw the tie to Trump on this one.  He’s making a dent.  And one other thing Klavan notes in his article, Trump’s continual trolling of the left is a gift that keeps on giving.  It enrages them and provokes them to ever higher heights of moonbattery (e.g. Colbert’s recent ravings).  These people have reached a frothing state that’s bound to take a toll on their public image.  Whereas Trump’s rating seems to be slightly rising.

So in conclusion, the sky is not falling and I’m not even close to being tired of winning.

31MAR2016 Roundup

Interesting week. After the Obamacare train wreck, the Trump Administration seems to be moving along on all its initiatives.  Trump put out an executive order dismantling the Obama war on coal and fossil fuels.  The EPA reiterated that climate change policy is no longer being pursued.  Senate Majority Leader McConnell has said that a vote on Gorsuch will happen by April 10th.

The Gorsuch vote should be informative. Senate Minority Leader Chuck (The Schmuck) Schumer has declared that he will force a filibuster.  But there are a number of senators in red states up for re-election in 2018.  Several of them have already declared that they will not block cloture.  In addition, some dem strategists have stated that forcing the republicans to use the “nuclear option” (eliminating the filibuster for supreme court approvals) at this point will make it easier for the republicans to get the next SCOTUS appointee in when it will be a true change in the status quo.  If either a democratic appointee or Justice Kennedy is the next justice to be replaced with a truly conservative choice it will fundamentally change the complexion of the court.  So it’s even possible that Schumer knows that the filibuster won’t happen and he’s just posturing.

The North Carolina legislature predictably caved on fake women using the lady’s room. Interestingly, Texas seems to have a little more backbone when it comes to standing up to corporate pressure tactics.  We’ll have to see where the country moves on these battles now that Obama’s not there to use strong arm tactics for the liberal agenda.

Jeff Sessions said that convictions will be necessary to deal with the leaks coming out of the intelligence agencies. And his Justice Department is going after sanctuary cities, threatening to cut off law enforcement funds to cities that refuse to cooperate with ICE agents taking illegals into custody after they’ve been arrested for other crimes.  And once again Texas takes a conservative initiative.  Governor Abbott is introducing legislation holding Texas sheriffs accountable if they cooperate with Sanctuary City efforts to shield illegals from ICE agents.  Pretty smart.

Once Gorsuch is seated, I expect the Supreme Court will be asked to rule on the bogus lower court interference with President Trump’s immigration executive orders. Vice President Pence voted to break a tie to approve a bill to allow states to defund Planned Parenthood if they choose.  And finally, bids are being requested for contracts to build the border wall.   Some Mexican companies have been branded traitors for their interest in the contracts.

So, all in all Trump and company have been fairly busy after their “crushing defeat” last week. I want to once again go on the record to state unequivocally that I am still not tired of winning.  In fact, I think I am now officially addicted to winning.  So much so, that I need my fix more often and in bigger doses.  I hereby put President Trump on notice that he’s gonna havta up my dosage.  Speed up the winning treadmill.  That’s an order.

Music to My Ears

This was the title to one of the Trump Administration stories on RealClearPolitics.com , “Mulvaney: We’re Not Spending Money On Climate Change Anymore, “Waste Of Your Money.”” The Mulvaney in question is John “Mick” Mulvaney, the guy in charge of the OMB. This is him answering questions at a press briefing about the budget cuts the president is proposing.
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2017/03/16/mulvaney_were_not_spending_money_on_climate_change_anymore_waste_of_your_money.html
You’ve got to listen to this. If you’re a thinking human being living in the US who has suffered for the last eight years under the cognitive dissonance that was the Obama Administration then this will be like the sound of angel’s wings presaging the wrath of the Lord descending upon the fallen ones. On the one hand, Mulvaney points to cuts in the science budget via consolidation of agencies and trimming back mission creep as reasonable adjustments to useful research pursuits. On the other hand, he describes completely eliminating climate change research as getting rid of something that is just a waste of money. I think a tear may have come into my eye but I’m sure it was just hay fever.
Alright, so now you can see all the promise of this administration coming to fruition before our astonished eyes. No longer begging for a crumb back from the loaf that is stolen from you, he’s slapping the ill-gotten gains out of the mouth of the leeches who’ve been sucking our blood for generations. Can you imagine if the universities have to support the legion of “climate scientists” without government grants gushing in to support them? I can’t! Where do unemployed climate scientists go? Starbucks, Amway, Uber? Can you imagine thousands of Priuses roaming the streets trying to pay back those PhD tuition costs?
Yesterday I mentioned Terence Kealey’s book, “The Economic Laws of Scientific Research.” I plan to go into detail about the concept of completely replacing government funding of civilian R&D with corporate tax cuts for research. But here I’ll just say that any and all reductions in science funding will be a good start. But with respect to funding cultural and social missions (NEA, PBS, NPR, etc.) shutting down these operations should be considered a force multiplier opportunity. The aggrieved liberals plead that none of these budget items is even close to a billion dollars. Why cause such pain for such small amounts of savings? The reason I see is that we will be hurting the enemies of all the things we believe in. Putting the squeeze on these people will decrease the damage being done by them. Preventing damage is always cheaper than having to repair it. It should be the primary mission to remove these leeches from the body politic.
So Mick Mulvaney, you have officially entered the pantheon of Trump Administration heroes who brought a smile to my face and song to my heart. The only thing left for him to do is remove all air conditioning from the EPA offices to help them live up to their beliefs.

Trump vs The Mad Scientists

President Trump (PT) – Hey Mike! Mike, where the hell are you now, I need something.

Mike Pence (MP) – Right here Mr. President. I just got off the phone with Rachel Maddow and she was very upset about the income tax prank.

PT – Yeah, well you know what she can go do.

MP – Precisely, sir.

PT – Yeah, well anyway, I want to start the swamp draining a little early. We can restructure the whole thing when we have the new set up sussed out but the first thing I want to do is shut down the NSF and the NEA.

MP – Well I can kind of understand the NEA. That is a highly leftist infiltrated organization. And I share your unhappiness with the whole climate change industry and see why we can cut funding altogether on that enterprise. But isn’t it highly short-sighted to cut off funds to science all together? I mean if for no other reason doesn’t the military depend on the technology that streams from basic scientific research?

PT – Mike, haven’t you ever heard of the Third Law of Funding for civil R&D?

MP – Actually I haven’t.

PT – In Dr. Terence Kealey’s 1996 landmark study, “The Economic Laws of Scientific Research,” he formulated the third law which states that public funding not only displaces private funding but it does it at a factor greater than one. In other words, for every dollar of government money that is investedin civilian R&D more than one dollar is lost of potential private R&D funding. You see what that means don’t you?

MP – Mr. President, no disrespect but are you trolling me?

PT – Not at all Mike. I’m just showing you that by eliminating government funding of civilian R&D we will actually improve science and technology progress.

MP – But how can private industry afford to immediately increase their spending to make up for this government expenditure?

PT – Easy, I cut their taxes by the amount that we currently charge them for the funding and the government overhead we currently spend to administer those programs.

MP – My God, that’s brilliant.

PT – Yeah, Kealey really is a genius.

MP – but Mr. President, you are forgetting one problem. How will you employ all those people currently in the NEA and NSF. They’re gonna be mad.

PT – I’ll send them a link to Monster.com.

MP – Cold.

PT – Equations are cold Mike.

Trump Really Is Gonna Drain the Swamp!

I ran across this tonight, “Presidential Executive Order on a Comprehensive Plan for Reorganizing the Executive Branch.”
Wow.
If you love America how can you not love this guy? You’ve gotta read this.
https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/03/13/presidential-executive-order-comprehensive-plan-reorganizing-executive

It’s remarkable. The fact that we didn’t have all the Presidents that weren’t generals prove that they can run a business just shows how dangerous it is to let lawyers anywhere near your money. We’ve been cheated all these years. This is the kind of thinking that has been so lacking since,…, since forever.
Drain the swamp, then grow something useful there. It’s like a metaphor for the stupidity where the EPA says you can’t build a garden shed on your property because in the winter the snow forms a puddle there and there might be a salamander living in it that has 28 spots instead of the 26 spots that are found on the other salamanders across the road in a different puddle.
It’s like God finally said, “I can’t let these poor people suffer under these merciless cretins anymore. I’ll send the unlikeliest leader imaginable. He’ll be vulgar and vain and selfish and profane. And he’ll be the perfect foil for these evil men because he’s seen how they work and he knows how to beat them.
If he gets half of what he’s trying to do done, not only should we put him on Mount Rushmore and not only should we let his goofy hair flap over onto Teddy Roosevelt but we should let the Trump Corp. get the contract to build it.
It says in the executive order that the public can make recommendations. So, let’s see. How about merging NPR with the Coast Guard. I’d send the whole evening news team to a light house on Gooney Bird Island in the South Pacific and let them do something they’re qualified for, scraping guano off the light. And how about putting NOAA back in charge of predicting weather and out of the climate alarmist business? And what about letting the military do their job, killing our enemies, instead of convincing 98 pound girls that they’re actually Navy Seals or ninjas or whatever their latest fantasy is.
Of cours there is a downside. The unemployment rate will go up sharply. And most of these bureaucrats really have no marketable skills. What a shame. Well, dem’s duh breaks. Funny how it wasn’t important when it was factory workers in Pittsburgh. Hey, those people actually voted this time. Who’da thunk it?
Well, I must go to bed soon. I’m certain Saint Nick must be close by cause if this ain’t Christmas then I must be dreaming. And if I’m dreaming please don’t wake me up.
But in parting I just want to say that no president in my lifetime (and I’m counting Reagan in this) has opened my eyes to all the dysfunction and actual evil that exists in our so-called democratic institutions and the press. And no other president has shown the energy and guts needed to topple the towers of the unelected satraps who feed off our daily bread and give us nothing but pain in return.

Drain the damn swamp and pave the son of a bitch over so they can’t come back.