Trump vs Justice Kennedy

Scene 1: White House, West Wing

President Trump (PT) – Mike, Mike!  Where the hell are you Pence?

Vice President Pence (VPP) – I’m right here (under his breath) as always.

PT – Good.  Look Mike I need to talk to Kennedy.

VPP – Supreme Court Justice Kennedy?

PT – Well obviously I don’t mean dead Teddy.  Yeah, Justice Kennedy.  I need to advance my agenda and since Congress is hopeless, a new SCOTUS appointment feels like the right thing.  Summon him to my office and make it snappy.

VPP – Mr. President, you can’t summon a supreme court justice, no one can.

PT – Well then ask him to lunch at the White House.

VPP – Certainly, when would you like to meet with him?

PT – Today.

VPP – But suppose he’s already scheduled for a meeting or a case?

PT – Pence, come on man!  Show me something here.  I’m starting to think I should have replaced you with Lying Ted.  Alright, have it your way.  Ask him when he can come.

VPP – What should I tell him is the subject of the meeting?

PT – Pastrami and corned beef.

VPP – What?

PT – We will be discussing the finer points of New York Deli sandwiches.  That should get him.

VPP – Yes Mr. President.

 

Scene 2: Two Weeks Later, White House Dining Room

PT – Well Tony, do you want anymore sauerkraut on that plate or maybe the potato salad.

Justice Kennedy (JK) – No thank you Mr. President.  I couldn’t eat another thing.

PT – Please Tony call me Don.  All my friends do.  Well, except the ones I don’t like.

JK – Okay Donnie.

PT – Just Don.  Let’s keep things friendly here.

JK – Sure Don, sure.

PT – Okay.  So, you’re probably wondering why I called you in for this meeting.  I mean in addition to the salted cured meats.

JK – Can I guess it has something to do with my retirement?

PT – Bingo.  See you’re a smart guy.  You know what’s what.

JK – Well Don, I hope you’re not going to try to convince me to retire before I’m ready.

PT – Nonsense, I would never try to force anyone to do anything he wasn’t ready to.

JK – Good Don, because it would just spoil our friendship.

PT – Right, right, sure.  Say I was just wondering do you do much golfing?

JK – No Don, I don’t.  I’m more of a yoga kind of guy.

PT – Oh yoga, sure, sure of course, very, um, interesting.

JK – I like that and modern expressionistic dance.

PT – …, hmm  …  dance you say.

JK – Yes it’s one of my great passions.

PT – You a married man, Tony?

JK – Don, I’ve been married to the same wonderful woman for more than fifty years.

PT – So, Tony does your wife share your … passion for dance.

JK – Oh, far from it.  She thinks it’s a silly thing for a man to do.  She’s very old fashioned that way.  Not a free spirit like me, Don.

PT – Yeah, I’m starting to get the picture.  So, Tony, I was wondering if you know that Trump Resorts for Retirees includes several very prestigious locales that you might find … interesting.

JK – Where for instance?

PT – Well, South Beach, Provincetown, Fire Island.

JK – Those are all gay havens.

PT – Are they?  I didn’t know.

JK – Of course you do.  What are you implying?

PT – I’m not implying anything.

JK – You think I’m gay!  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

PT – Of course not, it’s nobody’s business whether you’re gay or bi.

JK – I’m not bi!

PT – Tony, calm down.  No one’s saying you’re gay or bi or anything for that matter.  I’m just wondering.

JK – Well, stop wondering.  I’m 100% straight.  Not that there would be anything wrong if I weren’t.

PT – Of course not.  Well I’m glad we got that straightened out.

JK – Right.

PT – So, Tony, you may not be aware but several of Trump Resorts properties have clothing optional sunbathing.

JK – Really?  That seems very strange.  Which ones?

PT – Oh, let me check this brochure.  Well, by a strange coincidence, South Beach, Provincetown and Fire Island.

JK – Okay, I’m outta here.

PT – But Tony, I wasn’t implying anything.

JK – And that’s another thing stop calling me Tony, Mr President.

PT – If you insist Tony.

JK – And for your information I intend to serve on the bench until I’m one hundred and eleven!  Good day!  (leaves in a huff).

PT – …hmmm…   (speaking into an intercom) Mike summon Justice Booth Gator Beanbag or whatever her name is for lunch tomorrow.

 

Since my readers don’t always stop by every day I figured I’d paste this poll on each post for a while to see what folks call themselves.  This is the post the poll came from  Who Are We?

… And that got me thinking. Who are the people who read my blog?  I thought it might be fun to see what the cross-section looked like.  If you feel like saying what you believe in, feel free to leave a comment and/or pick a label from the poll below.  I think it might be interesting.

 

Total Votes : 51