The Liarwatha Strategy

As much as it pains me, I think I’ll have to accept that we’re going to lose Creepy Uncle Joe.  As my regular readers are aware of, I opined that Biden would be the candidate.  And I waxed poetic on the glories of a Biden filled debate experience, the gaffes, the non-sequiturs, possibly even lewd hand gestures.  But it was not meant to be.

This isn’t easy for me to accept.  I was sure he’d have staying power and once he unleashed the “Corn Pop” narrative I thought the troops would rally around his standard.  But I fear it’s too late.  Knowledge of just how crooked Joe and Hunter Biden were has permeated the American consciousness.  I fear Uncle Joe is toast.  No more sidling up and shoulder clutching or hair sniffing.  I fear Joe has fondled his last ambassador’s wife.

Ahh, well.

So, who shall it be?  Well things have settled out and the outcome seems clear.  Fauxcahantas is neck and neck with Creepy Uncle Joe and his backers are pulling back.  Comrade Bernie had a heart attack and appears relatively low energy at this point.  His numbers are trailing off and I assume he’ll be out of the race after New Hampshire.  No one else besides these three has been able to break single digits since early August.  At this point Kamala, Mayor Butt, Spartacus and the rest of that pack of losers are running to see who will be the running mate.  Therefore, Granny Clampett will be the Dem nominee.

Now that I’ve reconciled with the loss of Uncle Joe, it’s time to analyze the correct strategy for defeating the Fake Indian.  And that is an important thing to do.  She will get the same royal treatment that Hillary got when she was running.  As soon as she is the presumptive nominee all polls from that point forward will permanently show her ahead of the President by between five and twenty percentage points.  Also, she will receive nothing but favorable press and every week will feature a puff piece explaining how a woman president is not only the natural result of evolution but also what is predicted, based on being on the right side of history.  And Bill Kristol will declare her the true conservative choice in the race.

I think the important thing to remember is that she will undoubtedly get 100% of the college educated, unmarried, white women’s vote (aka blue-haired cat ladies, present and future).  This is her natural constituency, what the Z-Man would call the vinegar drinking scolds.  She will also get a large chunk of soccer moms, maybe 45% – 55%.  She will get 0% of white working-class men and women.  She will get 30% of upper and middle-class white men.  She will get 95% of the black vote.  She will get 65% of the Hispanic vote.

But here’s the important point, black and Hispanic voters will only come out to vote for her if they are motivated to do so.  If their voters aren’t excited about her, they’ll stay home in droves.  And aside from her fifth-grade teacher’s-nails on the chalkboard-voice, what would turn off the minority voters?  Well how about a fluorescently white woman who used a fake story of minority ancestry to get her a spot on the Faculty of Harvard Law School?  Gee, that might raise a little resentment.  If you were Mexican or Guatemalan, would you want someone who benefitted obscenely from pretending to have Native American blood getting your vote?  I’m guessing not.  And even if she’s pushing slavery reparations and has Kamala Harris as her running mate, I’m not sure that the black voters are really going to embrace her.  Basically, she’s not exactly Barack Obama.

So how do you highlight her dishonesty?  One thing that would work would be to have a tv ad with a Native American spokesman condemning her for the dishonesty and injustice of stealing a spot reserved for someone who truly was a Native American.  This could be reinforced with the text released by the Cherokee nation condemning Warren for her dishonesty and for using her DNA test as some kind of feeble defense.

The timing of this campaign is probably best delayed until the run up to the actual election day.  The middle of October seems like the right time.  Coordinated with this strategy, it would make sense for the President to go after her during the debates on her dishonesty.  A sort of relentless drum beat of accusations on her dishonesty and unfairness to Native Americans sounds like a winning strategy to me.  And, of course it wouldn’t hurt to showcase some of her other weak points.  Her acceptance of the insanely stupid “Green New Deal” that Ocasio-Cortez dreamed up should be especially easy to attack.  With a price tag that probably far exceeds estimates of $94 trillion and an agenda that will crash our economy and deprive us of the energy sources that make modern life economically possible any rational voters will reject candidate who has bought into it.

But the most appealing strategy to apply against Liarwatha is to appeal to people’s innate fear of having to listen interminably to her annoying voice.  The prospect of being hectored for four years by a shrew like her would make any man and many women recoil in horror.  I envision a commercial with a cartoon version of Betty Warren shaking her finger at a crowd of Americans and lecturing them about their responsibilities to the future and reminding them that whatever individual accomplishments they may have achieved that, “you didn’t build that!”

Well, I guess if I have to give up Creepy Uncle Joe, Fauxcahantas won’t be so bad.  I estimate there’s at least a 30% chance she’ll stroke out during the debates.  And after defeating Hillary and Liarwatha the Dems may give the woman candidate thing a pass in 2024.  But then again who knows.  We can always hope that Joe comes back as an 82-year-old trans-gender Creepy Grandma Josephine for an even more exciting race in the future.  He did say there were at least three genders.

 

 

22SEP2019 Update – The Dem Race Begins to Take Shape

So, this week we’ve lost Bill DeBlasio.  As the President mentioned, New York City is in a panic because Bill’s returning there and sure to cause fresh havoc in Gotham City.

And word has come down from Spartacus that unless his backers send him $1.7 million before September 30th, he’s going to drop his shield and short sword and drop out of the race.  Kind of makes you wonder a little about why he’s in the race.  What I want to know is who will keep the white supremacists in check if Cory drops out of the race.  I mean sure, Creepy Uncle Joe and Kamala Harris are woke to the threat of rampaging gun-wielding white fascists but Spartacus was the one who made it his signature issue.  And without a doubt Beto has laid claim to the gun grabbing title with his hats, coffee mugs and other branded paraphernalia but Spartacus was so much more real.  Yes, Cory Booker will be missed by those supremacists.

Today I read that Fauxcahantas has taken a two-point lead over Creepy Joe in Iowa.  Losing Uncle Joe so early in the process would be a blow.  The whole problem of his son and the Ukraine could spell the end of my prediction for Joe to be the November victim for President Trump.  So sad, so sad.  Well if it’s to be Fauxcahantas (and I’m not admitting to it yet) then let it be Fauxcahantas and Kamala Harris.  That is a dream ticket for President Trump.  Between the shrieks of Fauxcahantas and the whining and crying of Harris there wouldn’t be a man in America with a testosterone level above zero who would vote for that nightmare.  Now the flip side of that is every cat lady and power skirt in the country will try to vote twice for them.  But somehow, I don’t see them getting much of the female black vote.

Bernie is now only ahead of Warren in New Hampshire where he is shown trailing Joe by about a point.  But nationally the Fake Indian is leading him by a couple of points.  Bernie won’t drop out soon.  He’s got a lot of money and a loyal core of Bernie Bros who won’t desert him.

Pete Butt also has a good pile of cash to keep him going and the desire to be Vice President and I see him hanging in there for a good long time.  But as to who would select him for Veep, maybe Harris?  I’m guessing nobody really wants him aboard.

So, of the candidates who still might be around in a few weeks, that leaves Beto.  I think Harris would like to have him for a Veep.  He’s so incredibly shallow and stupid that by comparison even she would look sort of intelligent.  And he’s got a skateboard you know.  He’ll definitely get the poser and hipster vote motivated.

All the rest of the losers hovering around at 3% or lower will be gone by Halloween.  It’s pretty clear that the Media wants Creepy Uncle Joe to drop out.  They’re afraid that he’s too senile and has too many skeletons in his closet to beat the President.  And they’re right but honestly, it’s not as if Bernie or Fake Indian aren’t just as looney.  It’s that old white guy just seems impossible for their narrative.

Emotionally I’m tied to the idea of Creepy Uncle Joe going into the debates.  The spastic hilarity just draws me in.  But Fake Indian is great too.  Fauxcahantas has more than one arrow in her quiver if I may be permitted to use the metaphor.  She shrieks and her eyes bulge behind her Granny Clampett glasses and she gestures and gesticulates like some demented third grade teacher.  There is greatness there.

But never let it be said that I’m a fair-weather friend.  I’m sticking with Crazy Uncle Joe to the bitter end.  The only condition I put on his candidacy is if he strokes out.  If he does, I’ll pull support.  I can’t be responsible for the death of anyone, even Creepy Uncle Joe.

So, let’s recap.  With the Media and nervous big money pushing to anoint Fauxcahantas, Creepy Uncle Joe is hoping to weather the Ukraine thing while Bernie plods along waving the Hammer and Sickle flag of Communism for the Bernie Bros to see.  The only losers who’ll hang in for the Veep sweepstakes look like Harris, Beto, Mayor Pete Butt and maybe Spartacus.  I’m holding out for Uncle Joe but the vultures are beginning to circle.  Stay tuned for more excitement in October.

 

Thomas Jefferson or Pete Buttigieg – Choose

Apparently, Mayor Pete Buttigieg has evolved to the point where Thomas Jefferson must be cast out into the outer darkness.  The man who:

  • wrote the Declaration of Independence
  • was twice elected President of the United States
  • made the Louisiana Purchase and thereby more than doubled the size of the United States
  • was honored with a Memorial in D.C.
  • and has his face on Mount Rushmore

doesn’t deserve to be honored, according to Pete Buttigieg, the Mayor of South Bend, Indiana.  So if Buttigieg has rejected Jefferson then I have to decide which side I fall on, which of these two great men will I choose?

So many cruel jokes come to mind.  The comparisons between the two men whether we look at accomplishments, writings or effect on the world around them are so lop-sided as to appear laughable.  About the only thing you can cede to Buttigieg in the contest is that he probably has a better dentist than Jefferson did.

And that has about as much relevance to Buttigieg’s qualities as Jefferson owning slaves has to his.  Basically, if you go enough generations back in anyone’s family tree you will find slave owners and that goes not only for Europeans but every other race and ethnicity you care to name.  Up until the nineteenth century slavery existed universally around the world.  It was the English who began the task of outlawing it from their empire in the early 1800s and later on France and the United States followed suit.  Condemning Jefferson for employing slaves in that time period is cheap virtue signaling by a progressive who lives in a land made free by Thomas Jefferson and Andrew Jackson when they fought the British in the Revolutionary and 1812 Wars.

If writing the Declaration of Independence and leading the Continental Army to victory over the British don’t guarantee places of honor to Jefferson and Washington in the eyes of Pete Buttigieg then I don’t see how he can be considered an American at all.  To me he is no better than the ungrateful hippies who spat on returning Vietnam era soldiers who put their lives and limbs on the line to keep this a powerful and therefore a safe home for those cowardly nihilistic losers.

All of the revisionist nonsense that progressives spout and that weak-kneed Republicans kowtow to is unhistorical in assigning to people in the past, the knowledge of how the future would look.  If we use these types of standards then Abraham Lincoln will have to be cast out too.  Even though he freed the slaves he had uncomplimentary things to say about the slaves, both in respect to their qualities and of their characters.  I suppose Mayor Pete will cast out the Great Emancipator.  And what about Joe Biden?  Didn’t he have some remarks about Obama that were less than flattering?  Why isn’t Pete playing that to the hilt in their race for the Democratic Nomination?

Pete Buttigieg is, at best, a weird little man.  Being kind and saying that he is only mouthing the talking points of the equally weird progressive movement doesn’t excuse him from choosing to comment on the worthiness of some of the greatest American statemen that have and probably will ever live.  The fact that he expresses these opinions out loud because they are popular with a large national political party doesn’t bode well for the longevity of the American Nation.

So, I choose to keep Jefferson and reject Mayor Pete.  He doesn’t deserve the honor of being respected as an American.  He’s a traitor to the tradition that honors the men who risked everything they had to make this a free country.  Pete Buttigieg is either too stupid to understand the illogic of holding people in the past to standards that didn’t exist at the time or he’s just a dishonest hack following in the vanguard of progressive rabble-rousers.  He might as well fault the people who came over on the Mayflower for wasting their time on a sailing vessel when they could have taken a nice comfortable jumbo jet.

So, I reject Mayor Pete and his ilk.  All the Antifa thugs tearing down statues of men who lived long ago and followed their consciences and loved their homes.  I refuse to cast out the people who built this country when that was a hard and frightening thing to do.  But I do reject Mayor Pete and anyone else who rejects the men who built this country from the ground up.  I say simply that they are not Americans.  By their own admission they reject the heritage of the Founders.  Therefore, whatever country they belong to it isn’t the United States of America.  They are not my countrymen.  They are Unamericans.

How Exactly Can Joe Biden Run for President?

It’s not that his trademark sidle-up and grapple technique is exactly groping.  It’s too weird to be exactly that.  It’s some kind of Vulcan Mind Meld with a side order of Abortive Creepy Uncle Fondle Maneuver.  It’s too bizarre to ignore but too confused to easily categorize.

But how in the wide wonderful world we live in can Joe Biden lead the #MeToo party?

At last count there are at least seven separate women, most of them Democratic party operatives, who have declared themselves creeped out by Creepy Uncle Joe.  What percentage of women have to defect in order to swamp the USS Joe Biden?  It can’t be that many.

But was all this just a feint?  Is this supposed to allow the party faithful to be relieved when Joe slinks back into the retirement home and the real heavyweight jumps into the fray?  Is that Beto?  Is he neutered enough to allow the women to cast a sigh of relief at not having to vote for the shoulder rubber?  Or do we need to go all the way to Buttigieg to have a male Democrat that women won’t be nervous around?

Only time will tell.  But I have to say, the #MeToo movement is the gift that keeps on giving.  Trump tweeted that video of Biden explaining his grabbiness while in the background another Biden is employing the patented shoulder grab and hair sniff.  Of course, Plugs Biden really doesn’t have enough hair to sniff but the video is amusing.

And what’s next?  Will it be another Democrat senator or maybe the head of another stalking horse like the SPLC?  Or are there any news big shots left that haven’t been put on the spot?

What this might mean is that, as advertised by the dissident right, we may already have seen the last straight white male Democratic presidential candidate.  That honor may now belong to John Kerry.  Of course, a correction may set in if 2020 doesn’t go according to plan and Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg or Cory Booker goes down in a flaming landslide.  At that point it may be necessary for the Dems to rethink (or at least postpone) the white replacement strategy.  But it’s very interesting to see how the identity politics of the Democrats seems to be running into the fault lines that exist between the various components of the alliance that makes up the Democratic voting bloc.

And all this is happening in the foreground of the Mueller Report dud.  With President Trump crowing about his vindication and making veiled comments about counter-investigations and with the economy humming along it has to be worrying a lot of very important people in Washington that they may be about to see Donald Trump re-elected and possibly stuck with a Republican House that won’t be led by Paul Ryan.

Of course, this is all early speculation but I think the interesting thing to see is how the Democrats’ own radicalization of their constituency is shutting off candidates that have the widest appeal among the swing voters that they so desperately want to attract away from Trump.  Thank you, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, thank you, Ilhan Omar.  You are the gifts that keep on giving.  May you never successfully hide your crazy.

Sorry Creepy Uncle Joe.  Your turn is over.  I hope you enjoyed the ride.