The Last Shot of the 2018 Senate Battle

The Republicans staggered out of the 2018 Senate Mid-Terms with a final tally of 53 seats to the Democrats 47.  They’ve netted two seats but lost Arizona and Nevada through poor decisions and poor messaging.  The good news is that 53 seats means Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski, those two northern RINO dames won’t have a veto over who gets into the Supreme Court and the President’s Cabinet.  Hallelujah.  The bad news is that 53 is the best they could do in the best Senate election the Republicans are likely to get in a long time.

But I’m a glass half-full kinda guy so let’s call this one a definite win.  We can look forward to a potential one or two more Supreme Court appointments and just as importantly, a competent Attorney General and FBI Director.  And that’s just in time.  With Manafort reneging on his Mueller plea-bargain and details of Manafort’s apparent role in providing the Trump administration intel on Mueller, it looks like that pot is about to boil over.  So this Senate gain is important but just one more step in the never-ending war.  In the immortal words of Emerson, Lake and Palmer, “Welcome Back, My Friends, to the Show That Never Ends.”

22OCT2018 – Mid-Terms Update

The Dems have written off taking over the Senate.  So they’ve thrown all their money and all their gas-lighting to retaking the House.  But even there, things are not going as planned.  Instead of the towering Blue Wave they are down to the ebb and flow of the tide coming in and out and the Republicans look just as likely as not to hold the House this time.

https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2018/10/22/five_reasons_republicans_can_hold_the_house.html

And of course, if the American people spare the House Republicans once again there’s no guarantee that these Republican Rats will honor this trust and get the president’s agenda moving in the House.  They are a feckless bunch and only marginally better than the Dems.  But somehow I think that with Ryan gone the House will somewhat make up for their past sins by getting the Wall on the agenda.  I know it seems crazy to believe they’ll come through but somehow I think they realize it’s the only thing that can save their precious jobs in the long run.  I’m already looking forward to the event.  I’ll have a post up to allow the comments to run as a discussion area.

 

 

Trump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man.  Hoodoo? You Do! – Part 2

Trump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man. Hoodoo? You Do! – Part 1

 

Dramatis Personae: Chuck Schumer (CS); Kamala Harris (KM); Richard Blumenthal (RB); Brett Kavanaugh (BK); Mitch McConnell (MM);

Scene 1: Capital Building, Senate Floor, Senate Confirmation Hearing for Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh

MM – I’m going to open up questions to Justice Kavanaugh from the Minority Party now.  The approved agenda lists Senator Kamala Harris as the first senator.  Please proceed Senator Harris.

KM – Good morning Justice Kavanaugh.

BK – Good morning Senator Harris.

KM – Justice Kavanaugh, I’m going to be blunt and to the point.  I think your originalist pose concerning the Constitution is a sham.  I accuse you of lying to this body and harboring feelings of racial hatred, misogyny and homophobia.  I believe you are in league with this illegitimate President and your nomination is an act of treason that should be punishable by death.  Well what do you have to say to that?

BK – Oh, did you say something?  I’m sorry I was checking the box scores from the baseball games yesterday on my phone.

KM – How dare you disregard the questions of this august body.

BK – You mean there was a question in there?  I thought you were just letting off steam.  Look, I know you’re not very bright.  I figured if I just let you blather on for a while you’d eventually wander off and have sex with some power broker or other in the area.  Is Willy Brown still alive?  Have you moved on to the other Willy yet?

KM – That’s assault, that’s assault.  Someone, arrest him.

BK – No, it’s not assault.  Trust me I’ve written the book on it.

(Kamala Harris flees the room screeching and waving her arms over her head.)

BK – Bye Kam.  Next!

MM – Justice Kavanaugh, this is highly unorthodox!

BK – Sorry Senator, I lost ten bucks on one of those ballgames and it really rankled.  I’ll try to be nicer for the next chump, I mean Senator.

MM – Senator Blumenthal has the floor.

RB – How dare you Kavanaugh!  How dare you!  Senator Harris is a rising star of the Senate and the voice of a new generation in America.  I feel like coming over there and striking you across the face.

BK – Now hold on, Blumenthal, as is my right as an American I do adhere to the second amendment and practice concealed carry and now that you’ve threatened me, if you take one step toward me I’ll be forced to put two rounds through your center of mass.  And it is a .45, so think for a second.  I mean I’d hate to do it.  You already look dead so it would sort of be like shooting a stuffed animal.  I mean, sure it’s good target practice but kind of unfair.  And for the record are you one of the undead or some kind of animatronic manikin?   You look awful.  Why don’t you follow Kamala outside I hear you’ve got cash.

(Senator Blumenthal dodders out of the chamber and collapses at the chamber doors.  An EMT team trundles him out on a gurney.)

MM – Please Justice Kavanaugh, I’ve got to work with these people!

BK – Sucks being you.  But, hey I’ll be nice if they will.  Scout’s honor.

MM – Alright Senator Schumer you’re next on the list.

CS – Ahhh, well ahhh.

BK – Hi Chuck.

CS – No further questions.  I move we take it to a vote.

MM – Sold.  Alright Justice Kavanaugh, you are excused now.  And please, could you skip the State of the Union addresses for the next couple of years?  Some of us old folks have weak hearts.

BK – Believe me Mitch.  I could use the distance too.  You really should have this place steam cleaned or something.  It’s like a biohazard around here.  Well, bye!

 

Trump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man. Hoodoo? You Do! – Part 3

Trump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man.  Hoodoo? You Do! – Part 1

Dramatis Personae: President Trump (PT); Vice President Pence (VPP); Brett Kavanaugh (BK);

Scene 1 – White House West Wing; 5pm Monday; Oval Office

(President Trump seated behind his desk and Vice President Pence standing nervously in front of him)

PT – I tell you Mike, this Kavanaugh guy is a stiff.  Those democrat hyenas are howling around him just waiting for the kill.  He just sits there writing down all the gibberish they spout.  I’ve got to do something.

VPP – Mr. President, what can you possibly do?  I mean other than give him advice.  It’s not like you can go out there for him.

PT – Mike, that’s genius.  Get me the advanced weapons lab at MIT on the phone and tell that sad sack Kavanaugh to meet me in the White House basement tonight at 11 pm.  This is gonna be great.

VPP – I need a new job.

Scene 2 – White House Nuclear Survival Bunker, 11 pm that night.

(Judge Kavanaugh entering through blast door sees President Trump sitting in a chair with electrodes attached to his temples and wrists.  An empty chair is to his right and a technician is checking on the wires and reading an instrument panel.)

BK – Mr. President, you asked me to come.  But I’ve goyour blood pressure by t a very long week coming up.  Can this wait?

PT – Judge Kavanaugh, this can’t wait.  I’ve called you here to help you get through these hearings.  Brett, how would you say the hearings are going?

BK – Honestly, Mr. President, I’m extremely upset.  The senators are acting extremely unprofessionally and I might add unfairly.  I came very close today to gasping when Senator Blumenthal said you nominated me to help protect you from prosecution.

PT – Gasp?  Why didn’t you laugh in his face?

BK – That would be unseemly.  It would give them the moral high ground.

PT – Brett, look, you’re blowing it.  The sharks are circling.  They smell blood.  If you want to keep from being borked something has to be done and right away.

BK – But what?

PT – Fortunately science has found a way.  Do you remember those experiments they used to do where you could affect your blood pressure by watching a chart of it and trying to change it?  Biofeedback they called it.

BK – Sort of.  Why?

PT – Well these poindexters around us have a similar system where you can see the charts of your emotional output and mine superimposed and by watching it you can learn to copy my techniques.  By doing this you’ll master my art of zapping weasels.  It’s just that easy.

BK – It sounds insane!

PT – Please Brett, trust me.  It won’t take long and before you know it you’ll be so confident that you can even sleep late tomorrow and have these coyotes cowed by lunchtime.  You’ll probably be approved by Thursday.

BK – Well it would be a great relief to stop them from yelling at me so much.  What do I have to do?

PT – Just sit down in the other chair and let them attach the electrodes and restraints.

BK – Restraints?  Why restraints?

PT – That’s so you don’t move during the procedure.  It throws off the calibration.

BK – But why aren’t you restrained?

PT – Oh, I’ve done this so many times before I’m immune.

BK – Oh.  Okay.

(technicians apply the electrodes to Kavanaugh’s head and arms and then strap him tightly around the chest, arms and legs.)

PT – Okay, any last words?

BK – Whaaat?

PT – Just kidding.  Hit the switch!

( On the signal, sparks shoot from the electrodes and arc across the faces of the President and Judge.  Both are locked in grimaces from the current.  Several seconds later the current cuts off and the two men slump in their chairs)

To Be Continued.

 

Trump vs Kavanaugh, You Reminds Me of a Man. Hoodoo? You Do! – Part 2

Chris Buskirk prefers listening to Kid Rock over Morning Schmoe

This is an easy recommendation.  American Greatness has become an essential place for me to check for a good political read.  I have a feeling my Morning Schmoe and Lycra series will be hearing about Kid Rock pretty soon.  I know, I’m shameless.  But Scarborough actually singing is pure comedy gold.  I’m bound to have Lycra become the new Yoko Ono.  Seriously though it wouldn’t hurt Trump to go on tour with Kid Rock as his opener.  We could use something more entertaining than Russiagate to listen to.  It’s becoming a bore.

Goodbye Joe Scarborough . . . Hello, Kid Rock

 

Some background on Morning Schmoe and Lycra