The Trump Coalescence

An interesting thing about the Trump realignment is how the different factions of the Right interact with each other.  So just as an example, I know this guy who I would say is a blue-collar conservative.  He has never trusted the Republicans or the Democrats and he pretty much thinks the fix is in all the time.  So, he contrasts with my background.  I started out as a Reagan Republican and became disillusioned with the Republicans during the W years and embraced the Trumpocalypse in early 2016.  When we talk he comes from his default position of pessimism.  He’s afraid that it’s too late to vote our way out of the Leftist future and frets about the Mid-Terms.  When I speak to him about all this I tell him to start by relaxing a little bit because the Media is once again spinning the FUD to suppress voting by the Right so it’s definitely not going to be a Blue Wave.  Then he says that the future demographics will eventually tilt everything to the Left.  And I tell him that it’s time to start speaking up for what you want.  Just like Trump answered the call for forgotten Blue-Collar Democrats, another leader will be there in the future and a coalition can be formed that addresses the most important concerns of the Right at that time.  But the important thing to remember is that compromising to reach consensus is a lie being used to unilaterally pressure us into adopting the agenda that will disenfranchise us.

Fifteen years ago, I was struggling to understand how the Republicans could let the Left trample on the American way of life so effortlessly while my friend was unsurprised by their failure because he saw both parties as a conspiracy.  Whereas today he is unsure whether to become emotionally invested in the political scene and be disappointed in the outcome while I see events unfolding according to the plan of attack that President Trump is waging against the Left and the strategies he is using to rally the sclerotic forces on the establishment right.  It’s almost as if my disillusionment with the republicans forced me to delve deeper than those who never trusted them in the first place and never had to understand exactly how the system dysfunctioned (to coin a ridiculous term).

Another faction is those who didn’t trust Trump because they thought he was a joke or thought he was going to govern as a liberal.  Slowly but surely all of these folks have been coming around to at least a place where they admit that he is undoubtably doing a lot of good.  Even if they aren’t crazy about the man they are happy about the results.  And they are beginning to understand just how effective he is against their enemies.  These folks can help but they need to fight their learned reflex to compromise whenever a Leftist backs them into a corner (which is every time).  They need constant supervision.

And finally, we have the NeverTrumpers.  Despite their extreme hatred of Trump even these characters are starting to make noises like they’re ready to rejoin the flock.  And if the mid-terms go as well as they seem to be it won’t be long before they’ll be declaring themselves the real leaders of the Trump Revolution complete with New York Times best sellers, cruise ship seminars and proof that transgendered undocumented workers are the most important Trump constituency.  I think the main point that I’m trying to make is these characters should be compelled to embrace their choice and never join with Trump or anyone who stood with him.

So, the Trump Revolution moves apace and all that needs to be decided is the secret handshake, the setting of the decoder ring and how to keep the Bushes and Romneys from crashing the Christmas Party.  But seriously, you could have worse problems than how to on-board so many new recruits.

Trump vs the Sixty Minutes Sitdown

Dramatis Personae: End-Lesley Scold – (ES); President Trump – (PT)

Scene 1 – Television showing Sixty Minutes segment

ES – Hello I’m End-Lesley Scold and this is Sixty Minutes.  Tonight, we’re televising my interview with President Trump.  By the end you’ll agree that I won and he was unmasked as an immature, petulant man with the manners of a wolverine and without the intelligence God gave a turnip.  Let’s take a look.

(Cut to the recorded interview)

PT – Hello End-Lesley.

ES – Pledge right not that you won’t fire Robert Mueller!

PT – Where the hell did that come from?

ES – Oh, the teleprompter skipped to the wrong page.  I mean good evening President Trump.  Pledge right not that you won’t fire Robert Mueller!

PT – That’s better.  Don’t want to confuse the audience.  Who’s Mueller?  Is he the guy who makes the egg noodles?  No, seriously aren’t we going to fence around for a while about how evil Kim Jong Un is and how I made fun of “Dr.” Whatsername?

ES – Uh, sure but hold up.  You’re messing up the order and my teleprompter says Mueller still.

PT – Okay fine.  I’m currently not ready to fire Mueller yet.  He provides all kinds of ammunition that we’re using for the midterms.  I’ll probably fire him November seventh but who knows?  He’s kind of funny with that G-Man haircut and profile.  Maybe I can get him a part in the remake of the Untouchables, so stay tuned and ask me again in a few weeks.

ES – No, pledge right now, pledge, pledge!

PT – The only pledge we should be talking about is the Pledge you should be using to dust off the worm-eaten furniture on this set.  Look End-Lesley, we only have like half an hour to get this done.  If you can’t move onto something interesting I’m gonna leave and go golfing.  What else have you got?

ES – Fine!  How about when you made fun of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford?

PT – First off, she’s not a doctor.  She’s more like a yoga instructor.  Secondly, she’s got too many names.  Tell her to pick one.  And third, you call that making fun?  I was being nice!  That woman is a fruit cake.  She’s lucky no one dropped a net over her and dragged her off to Bellevue.  Look, when those Keystone Cops in the Senate put on that freak show you’re just lucky I wasn’t in the room.  I’d have mocked them right out of the building.  You realize that even nine years after his death there are still DNA remains from Ted Kennedy’s Senate Assistant “interviews” right there on the Senate floor and come to think of it probably on the Senate walls and maybe even the Senate ceiling.

ES – That’s entirely inappropriate to say about the Lion of the Senate.

PT – Really?  That’s a man whose nephew was tried for raping a woman on a boat while Teddy was wandering around in his boxer shorts.  So, Teddy’s the Lion of the Senate and poor nerdy Brett Kavanaugh is Jack the Flippin’ Ripper?  Please don’t make me laugh.  If you’re looking for a rapist just call up Hillary and ask her where Bill is shacked up this week.

ES – None of that has ever been proven inconclusively in a court of law.

PT – Well you say you must believe a woman who says she’s been raped?  How about Juanita Broaddrick?  And you say you must believe a woman who says she was sexually assaulted?  How about Kathleen Willey?

ES – But that was a long time ago.

PT – The fruit cake doctor is talking about almost forty years ago.

ES – But, but … Roe v Wade!

PT – End-Lesley you’re getting off point.

ES – Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!  (runs off stage)

PT – Good night End-Lesley.

(Voice coming over the tape)

ES – How could you televise that?  That wasn’t the spliced tape that was the discard.   Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Trump vs the Ozymandias Bias

Dramatis Personae:    President Trump – (PT);  Vice President Pence – (VPP)

Scene 1 – White House West Wing,  Oval Office;  8 am,  Monday Morning;

(President Trump is seated at his desk and calls out through the open door)

PT – Mike … Mike …… Mike ………….  PEEEEEEEEENCE!!!!!!

(Vice President Pence enters through the door)

VPP – Right here as always Mr. President.

PT – Mike, good work on that Senate vote thing.  You kept your cool with all those blue-haired psycho broads screaming for your blood and got the thing done.  Although I think I would have thrown a couple of zingers up to the peanut gallery that would have been better than repeating, “will the sergeant at arms please restore order to the gallery” a hundred times.

VPP – Thank you Mr. President but I must admit that all the credit must go to you for showing such firmness in the face of an almost maniacal determination against you.

PT – I have to agree with you Mike.  It is all because of me and that’s why I called you.

VPP – (mumbling under his breath) Oh, no.

PT – Mike, we can’t let this great victory go uncelebrated.  We must provide a memorial to it.

VPP – Well sir, that hardly seems …

PT – I was considering adding my face to Mount Rushmore but honestly it doesn’t seem fair to me.  I mean, come on!  Sure, Washington and Lincoln won wars but Jefferson and Roosevelt?  All they did was write stuff, well except for that canal and we did give it away so big deal!

VPP – Oh sir, this is such a bad…

PT – Mike, you’re so right.  Mount Rushmore is such a bad location for a monument.  I mean who goes to North Dakota?

VPP – South Dakota.

PT – You see?  Nobody even knows where it is.

VPP – What I meant was…

PT – Exactly.  The American people deserve better.  As a tribute to the intelligence of the American people electing me president I am signing an executive order authorizing the collection of gold for the hair on my monument.

VPP – Gold?

PT – Yes, gold for the hair will make it more visible and also act as caulking to prevent erosion of the head.

VPP – How big is this going to be?

PT – None of this is written in stone yet.

VPP – Joke?

PT – Not funny.  Anyway, the way I envision this is the top thousand feet of Pike’s Peak can be reworked so that it’s shaped like a much larger version of the Washington Monument.  And on top of that will be my head with the hair made out of 24 carat gold.  Can you just see it?

VPP – I’m imagining some kind of gargantuan pez dispenser that can be seen across all of North America.  Your hair will blind jet airline pilots for a thousand miles in all directions.

PT – Well that’s what the Tac Visor is for isn’t it?

VPP – Mr. President, have you ever heard of Ozymandias?

PT – Never was a big fan of Heavy Metal.

VPP – Ah, well.  Mr. President, even though we are all very appreciative of what you did with the Kavanaugh appointment it may still be premature for you to self-declare the need for a memorial to yourself quite so gargantuan.

PT – Why?

VPP – Well, if for no other reason, because there hasn’t been enough gold mined on the whole planet to cover a monument that big.  Especially if it has to accurately scale up your own, ahhh, generous hair style.

PT – Ah hah!  That’s where you’re wrong.  I have consulted with Elon Musk.  And in exchange for calling off the SEC from hounding him, he will locate and transport a giant gold asteroid right to Pike’s Peak to be used conveniently for my hair.  So as you can see it’s all coming together.

VPP – You’re right.  What was I thinking?  How could this not be a good idea?  Anything else sir?

PT – Well, as I said earlier, I think you did a great job on the Senate vote thing and I was wondering if you wanted your head to be put somewhere too.

VPP – No, thank you sir.  My head is going to need to be examined pretty soon and I don’t think I could bear to have it staring back at me from a mountain any time soon.  Besides, I’m starting to think my head is stuck somewhere it won’t be seen.

PT – Suit yourself.

The Wind is Shifting

Some pundits like to draw their examples from history.  They’ll point to Athens or Rome or England to lend support for some point being made.  Some draw from classic literature or drama, Homer or Shakespeare.  I’m a science fiction and fantasy geek.  So, even though I’ll quote Xenophon or Thucydides, Odysseus or Macbeth, I often find myself drawn to a scene by Tolkien.

In the Lord of the Rings there is a chapter called The Ride of the Rohirrim where King Theoden has asked for the help of the Wild Men of Druadan Forest to bypass an army of orcs and thereby reach Minas Tirith before the city falls.  Ghan-buri-Ghan, the chieftain of these stone-age primitives agrees to aid him.  As the tribesman prepares to leave them he sniffs the air like some wild creature and with a startled expression says “Wind is changing!” and bolts away.  This sentiment is repeated several more times by individuals from all sides of the battle ahead.  And the change in the wind is both a sign and also an actor in the drama.  Literally the direction of the wind changes the environment for the characters in the story from darkness and fear to light and courage.  It not only lets them see what they need to know but it gives them the courage to attempt it.

Now, far be it from me to compare Donald Trump to Gandalf the White or Mitch McConnell to King Theoden.  Although, I could be convinced that Bush Senior is a stand-in for Denethor.

But without a doubt I will say the wind is most definitely changing.  Here are my proofs:

  1. Those most notorious of weather vanes, the Republican Congress, are pointing in Trump’s direction. Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham and the rest of the gutless, spineless hollow men in the Senate got up on their hind legs and gave an almost convincing impression of adult male Americans, in other words men.  Astonishing.
  2. A Republican appointee for the Supreme Court was allowed to defend himself against outrageous charges from shrieking harpies instead of being withdrawn post haste by a cowering Republican establishment.
  3. The #metoo media-political complex fired every single round they had in their guns at Justice Kavanaugh, the President and the Senate during this pitched battle and when the smoke cleared Kavanaugh was installed in the Supreme Court, Susan Collins called them out, Democrat Senator Joe Manchin signed onto the approval and President Trump’s approval rating broke 50% for the first time in many months.
  4. Just about every NeverTrumper who hadn’t already sold his soul to George Soros admitted that he was glad Donald Trump was president right now.
  5. And finally, even the most timid centrists are finally starting to understand that losing less quickly is not necessarily the best case scenario they can hope for.

Some of these signs are actually lagging indicators.  I think some of the NeverTrumpers are coming around because they lost most of their readers.  Their conversion is one of convenience due to how much the facts on the ground have already shifted against them.  The Congress has taken two years to decide which way the wind is blowing, the invertebrates.  But without a doubt, things are definitely building on existing momentum.

I expect setbacks, unexpected losses will occur and unreliable allies will bolt from time to time.  But I predict that this momentum is peaking at just the right time to sway the electorate for us.  And that will further depress the Left and its allies in the Press and Hollywood.  So this is the time for the Right to strike while the iron is hot.  If we manage to gain a few seats in the House it’s time to start building the wall and fixing the illegal immigration situation.  It’s time to start cleaning out the Justice Department and the other Executive Branch departments.  And it’s time for the Republicans to coordinate at the state and federal level to advance cases to the Supreme Court to challenge many of the unconstitutional precedents that need to be reversed.

I hate to sound so cheerful.  But honestly, things are going very well.  A lot of my friends are very fearful about a #metoo backlash and Mueller and blah, blah, blah.  Meh.  I say things are looking up.  The wind is shifting and that is the time to press ahead.

Mourning Morning Shmoe

I went through the “Trump vs” spoof posts and picked the one I liked best.  I’ll post one section a day but if you want to read ahead or start at the beginning I have the links at the bottom and top of each post to the previous and next installments.  This one began back in March 2018.

Morning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi

 

Dramatis Personae: Morning Shmoe – (MS);  Lycra Spandexy – (LS);  Producer Jorge – (PJ);  President Trump – (PT)

Scene 1- 8am, MSNBC, Set of the Morning Shmoe talk show; the set is festooned with black streamers, in the center of the breakfast table is a poster sized photo of a morbidly obese pug dog;  

MS – Welcome solemnly back from that tasteful adult diaper commercial break and it’s the saddest two minutes after the quarter hour I’ve ever experienced here at the Morning Shmoe Show.  I’m your co-host Morning Shmoe Browfurrowed and here’s our co-host the lovely but deeply bereaved Lycra Spandexy.

LS – Yes, that’s right Shmoe.  Very, very lovely and deeply, deeply bereaved.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – Lycra, maybe for the sake of any of the at-home audience who were in comas yesterday and didn’t hear the earth shattering events you could relate a synopsis of events leading up to this sad, sad day.

LS – No, Shmoe.  Anyone too stupid or callous to educate himself to the scope and details of yesterday’s global catastrophe cannot be helped and must be allowed to perish from the earth, or at least be shadow-banned from Twitter.  But I will say this, Mr. Toodles’ abduction, brutal murder and cannibalization is laid squarely at the feet of Donald Trump.

MS – Yes, absolutely.  Trump’s support for the unnamed perpetrator (a rogue leader of an unnamed  country with the initials NK) was what enabled this heinous crime.  Any sensible President would answer this unspeakable provocation with a measured, proportionate response, namely, the total thermonuclear annihilation of North Korea, err, I mean NK.

LS – Yes Shmoe, that seems just.  Even merciful if you consider it the right way.

MS – And by the right way you mean the left way.  A truly progressive world view recognizes that the brutal murder of even one somewhat plus-sized American pug dog must be the moral equivalent of incinerating fifty million East Asian people who engage in dog eating.

LS – That’s right Shmoe, very, very equivalent.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – Oh for! … … … … …………………. Anyway, anyway we are demanding that Donald Trump immediately call off the peace process with NK and proceed directly to a full nuclear launch.

LS – Yes, warmonger Trump, do what you want to do anyway go directly to Def Jam 4.

MS – That’s DEFCON 1.

LS – Well, whatever channel it is on your remote go to it and start bombing those dog eaters.  And I hear South Korea and China are also dog eaters so nuke them too.

MS – Uhhh, maybe we should slow down a minute.  China is not only one of the larger nuclear powers with a population of over a billion people, it also makes most of the stuff we live on.

LS – Really Shmoe, really?  Is that all you care about Mr. Toodles?  I mean, just because there is a small chance that you will get nuked, you let dog eaters roam the earth free, chowing down on chow-chows as the mood strikes them?

MS – Hey, just wait a second.  I go along with almost all of your nutty crap day in and day out.  Cut me a little slack when I don’t want to go beyond the partial annihilation of the planet over one dog.

LS – One dog?  Mr. Toodles?  After all he did for you?  Do I even know you at all?

(as a staccato exchange of bickering breaks out between the married co-hosts, Producer Jorge, interrupts)

PJ – Lycra, Shmoe.  I hate to interrupt but we have Donald Trump on line one.

LS – Put him through!  I want to tell him what I really think of him.

PT – Hello Shmoe and Lycra.  I see you’re engaging in your usual nutbaggery.

LS – Go to hell Trump.  We won’t let you divide us.

MS – Exactly!

LS – Exactly!

MS – (audibly grinds his teeth but shakes it off and continues) What do you want Trump?

PT – I called up to broker a peace treaty between the two of you and my friend Kim Jong Un.

LS – (starts screaming incoherently then yells) Monster, murderer!  You are responsible for the murder of Mr. Toodles.

PT – Calm yourself Lycra Spandexy, at your advanced age a stroke is always a concern.

LS – (once again starts screaming incoherently then yells) I am not old!  I am young and beautiful and in the prime of my life as a powerful, talented and desirable woman.

PT – Sure, sure, whatever, now listen.  Kim Jong Un called me up last night and told me all about the joke he pulled on you two.  It’s not widely known but he has a very wry sense of humor.  He took your morbidly obese and pop-eyed canine and brought him along on his flight back to Pyongyang.  The dog is well, or as well as he was when taken, and will be returned to you unharmed in return for an apology.

LS – I’ll never apologize to that monster.

PT – Oh it’s worse than that.  You have to apologize to me.

MS – What?  Why would we apologize to you?

PT – Well you see, Kim thinks it’s beneath his dignity to negotiate with a leader whose own people hold in such low esteem that they insult him publicly.  So, he is insisting that you two be made an example and forced to perform the equivalent of a North Korean show trial where you denounce yourselves through a long list of your thought and deed crimes.  He reluctantly agreed that you didn’t have to end off by being summarily executed with a bullet through the brain paid for by your families.

MS – We’ll never do it.

PT – That’s your choice but the dog is still in North Korea and he is about oven-stuffer size.  And the Korean Festival of the Garlic and Ginseng Stuffed Dog does begin next week.

LS – Don’t say no, Shmoe!  We must save Mr. Toodles no matter the cost.

MS – Very well, you villain.  We’ll do it.  What must we say.

PT – Oh, don’t rush me.  I’ll get back to you when I’ve got the script finished.  I’ll just let Kim know it’s a deal and we’ll set up the broadcast in a day or so.  And believe me when I say that what you’ll have to say will bring tears to those leftist blue state eyes of yours.  Till then rejoice.  Your pop-eyed pooch was dead but now is alive again.  Trump out.

Trying to Write Satire in the Age of the Resistance

Any of the regular readers know that I dabble in ridiculous satire with a cartoon version of President Trump and absurd versions of all our favorite Washington villains.  Ove the last couple of years I’ve had newly elected President Trump become a werewolf and devour the State Department just to help drain the Swamp.  I’ve indulged in time travel, personality transfer technology and the President and the First Lady opening up a dating service to help Millennials avoid dying childless.  Nothing was beyond the pale.

But how can I compete with the Resistance?  A senior Senator from the great State of California introduced a woman who accused Brett Kavanaugh of complicity in multiple occurrences of gang rape at a college fraternity.  How can I compete with that?  I mean, after the first “incident” would there be a rationale for returning?  Was it just to make sure she wasn’t mistaken with respect to the nature of the proceedings?

The only way I can think of to keep up with real life is have one of the Resistance testify before the Senate to having been abducted onto a flying saucer at the hands of Space Alien Brett Kavanaugh.  That might work!  But I will have to work on the details.  Is Alien Brett a humanoid alien indistinguishable from earthlings?  Or is he one of the Star Trek, The Next Generation aliens that have some kind of wrinkles on their brow that saves enormous amounts of money on expensive latex costumes?  Or is he a really disgusting worm or squid or something and only looks human when he wants to like from Men in Black?  These are tough questions to decide on.  I guess from the point of view of the Resistance, there is no more horrible monster than a normal white man so if he’s that kind of alien it would sure make the conviction easy.  If he’s got the brow wrinkles he still looks mostly like a white man but it might earn him enough diversity points to confuse the shrieking harpies.  And if he’s a squid then the tree huggers will probably declare him an endangered species and declare him king of the world.  Decisions, decisions.

Well, anyway, you see my predicament.  Life has completely swamped out parody and satire.  There are literally no limits to the tactics these people will stoop to.  They will destroy anyone and everyone who stands in the way of their agenda.  I’ve maintained that the Alt-Right, Dissident Right or whatever else people call it is wrong to think that we can’t get back to normal.  They claim that the country is broken and all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men are out of luck.  I’ve somewhat waveringly hoped that the Trumpocalypse will right the ship and we can cobble together a new coalition of the less crazy that can eliminate the toxic excesses of Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society and try to rebuild on the ruins of the old society that really was great.  But it gets harder and harder to believe that the idiots on the establishment right are capable of withstanding the beating they will take if they try to resist the Resistance.  I mean it was sort of entertaining to hear Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell make noises like un-neutered men.  It was novel and it made me feel almost sympathetic for their plight.  Almost.  But they’re gonna have to do a whole lot better than that if they want to win.  Meanwhile let me get that copy of Galaxy Quest off the shelf.  I’m going with squid.

Morning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi

I went through the “Trump vs” spoof posts and picked the one I liked best.  I’ll post one section a day but if you want to read ahead or start at the beginning I have the links at the bottom and top of each post to the previous and next installments.  This one began back in March 2018.

Trump vs Kim Jong Un and the Shanghai Noon

Dramatis Personae: Morning Shmoe – (MS);  Lycra Spandexy – (LS);   President Trump – (PT); Kim Jong Un (KJU)

Scene 1- 8am, MSNBC, Set of the Morning Shmoe talk show;  

MS – Welcome back from that commercial break and it’s the cube root of 27 minutes after the hour and we’re here at the set of the Morning Shmoe Show.  And Lycra Spandexy and I were just saying how we’ve never been more in love or more sure that Donald Trump’s presidency is seconds away from imploding before our eyes.

LS – Yes, that’s right Shmoe, very, very in love and very, very close to imploding.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – And continuing on our discussion of the bromance between Trump and Kim, I just wonder how Donald Trump feels knowing that he has become just as much of a laughing stock as that other tin pot dictator Kim Jong Un.  After all he may not be as short and fat as Kim but he’s just as much of a psychopath and just as ugly.

LS – Yes that’s right Shmoe, very, very much a laughing stock and very, very ugly.

MS – Exactly.

LS – Exactly.

MS – Hmmm.

LS – Oh, look!  Producer Jorge says we have a caller on line one.  Go ahead caller.

KJU – You listen good, Lycra Spandexy and Morning Shmoe!  This Kim Jong Un, Supreme Dear Leader of Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.  You really piss me off.  Maybe my friend Donald Trump let you get away with this stuff but I no will.  You are in deep doo doo.  You make fun of me?  Hah, I make fun of you!  What kind name Lycra Spandexy?  Sound like the sports bra.  And Morning Shmoe?  You some kind of Fourth Stooge?  Hah, Hah!

LS – Oh yeah?  Well your name is really funny.  Don’t you know Kim is a girl’s name?  Like Kim Kardashian.

MS – Honey, I don’t think you should engage.  I think the directive in these situations is to remain calm and shelter in place until the back-up arrives.

KJU – Too late you foolish losers.  I already sent team to your apartment.  You aware that Korean cuisine includes dog, right?

LS – Mr. Toodles?

KJU – That right.  I now finishing off Toodles with Noodles. Very hot and very tasty.

(Lycra becomes hysterical)

MS – You fiend!  I’ll call the State Department and have you arrested.

KJU – Don’t bother.  Diplomatic immunity.  And I already in flight and over Atlantic Ocean.  Plus, I no think Donald like you two too much.  You piss him off too.  So goodbye losers.  Better not say more about me or you might end up on menu for my shark tank.  (call ends in a dial tone)

MS – (with Lycra in the background keening shrilly for Mr.Toodles)  Well this is a black day on Morning Shmoe.  Not since the 9-11 attacks has anything as shocking occurred.  In fact, as we all know, the 9-11 attacks were the fault of Islamophobia whereas this murder is strictly the fault of Donald Trump and his Axis of Evil with a dictator who will remain nameless because of reasons.  I would declare a morning of mourning but we really need the paychecks to cover the wedding expenses we incurred.  It was an event wedding in Hawaii and Lycra had a lot of Eastern European relatives to fly in.

LS – (breaking out of her wailing dirge)  You were the one who wanted Hawaii.

MS- Whatever!  Well anyway, goodbye everybody and may your morning progress.

 

Mourning Morning Shmoe

The Great Revolt – by Salena Zito and Brad Todd – A Book Review – Part 3

In Part 2 of this review I said that the Great Revolt is divided into a number of chapters, each named after a particular group of Trump voters that because of their circumstances either flipped from the Democrats to Trump or stayed with Trump despite an ideological conflict with him.

For each of these categories there are several individuals who exemplify the profile but live in a different location.  These locations are rural, or towns and cities located in the ten counties in question in Iowa, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.

In each of these categories and in each of these locations we are shown how the Democrats started out as the natural or default political party but ended up becoming the reason to vote for the unlikely personage of Donald J. Trump.  Although the list includes some individuals who are affluent and highly educated they all reside in areas of the country that have been taken for granted and at the same time abandoned by the Democratic Elite.  The people interviewed range from pillars of the community and entrepreneurs to folks who have barely survived hard economic times that coincided with personal tragedy and challenge.  But they all look to Donald Trump to correct problems.  Economic problems, cultural problems, moral problems.  Not all of these people are conservatives or even moderates.  Some are demonstrably old school Democrats.  But what they all are is self-described Americans.  None of them think of themselves as citizens of the world.  None of them have bought into the globalist perspective and many of them are obviously mourning for the death of their homes.  Places like Erie and Freeland Pennsylvania are for all intents and purposes dead.  There aren’t any growing industries and even the few employers left are slowly moving out to the sunbelt.  Young adults leave for opportunities elsewhere.  Parents and grandparents stay because they can’t sell their houses.  Who would buy them?  All they are left with is memories of happier times when they were part of a thriving community with a future and the dignity of earning a living and raising their families.  In these places voting for Donald Trump is almost a reflex.  A final self-defensive movement.

But other examples show communities that are still viable and even thriving but even in these places the inhabitants recognize that the Democrats don’t pretend to share the values that these communities still believe in.  Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio.  These are all places that are seeing themselves ignored because they are the areas where remnant blue collar communities are supposed to disappear and be replaced by the new constituencies that are earmarked for inclusion in the “coalition of the ascendant.”

So, speaking in broad generalities, who are the Trump voters that handed him Pennsylvania, Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio and Iowa?  For the most part, they are the union guys who stopped voting for Republicans after Ronald Reagan.  If we start in the worst hit spot in the Rust Belt we’re in Pennsylvania.  Places like Erie and Wilkes Barre have been deconstructed to the point that it’s remarkable anyone at all is left.  After all the industries from yesteryear shut down and off-shored to China Obama finished it off by outlawing coal.  Places like Wisconsin are comparatively healthy.  Many of the largest manufacturers are gone but entrepreneurial types have stepped in and started smaller companies in emerging industries that still employ many people and keep the areas as viable communities for families and young adults to remain in.  In between these extremes is the rest of the gradient.  What they all share was a dependence on large scale union employment in heavy industry.  And because of this history they typically voted Democrat.  And they thought of the Republicans as their class enemies.  What they didn’t see happening was the Democrats moving on from needing them or more specifically pretending to care about their votes.  Once the Democrats had built up the “Coalition of the Ascendant,” these mid-west white union workers were an embarrassment to the rest of the coalition.  They weren’t college educated and they didn’t eat the right foods or care about the right causes and they might even believe in God.  So, the best thing to do was quietly stop talking about them and wait until they dropped dead so they could be replaced with some Central Americans or Middle Easterners.  But somehow, they are still there so they are looking for a new political home.  Donald Trump provided that.  He was the first Republican since Ronald Reagan to acknowledge their plight and actually come up with a plan for helping them.  Finally, let’s sum it up.

Bottom Line

Boiling down all the cases and places it comes down to this.  Donald Trump was elected president by the Rust Belt blue collar working areas because he was willing to promise to save them.

 

In the last part of this review I’ll give my thoughts on where we go from here.

The Great Revolt – by Salena Zito and Brad Todd – A Book Review – Part 2

In Part 1 of this review I said that there were a number of personal accounts by Trump voters in swing states that provided remarkable insight into how Trump was able to topple the Midwestern “Blue Wall.”  After finishing up the book I can confirm that this is the case.  But this only one of several facets that the book reveals about the current state of the American electorate and how it intersects with the political parties, the media, corporate America and the globalist elites in general.

I will divide the review into appropriate topics that correspond to the book’s logical components.  But first I’ll give a general synopsis of the overall conclusion of why Donald Trump was elected President of the United States.

The bottom line is that Donald Trump ended up with a healthy majority of electoral votes (304 to 227) because just ten counties in Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin and Iowa flipped their votes from Democrat to Republican.  Each of these counties had voted for Obama in both 2008 and 2012.  Trump was able to convince Democratic voters to vote for a Republican presidential candidate.  The rest of the book is devoted to figuring out why this happened and what the larger significance is.

The book is divided into a number of chapters, each named after a particular group of Trump voters that because of their circumstances either flipped from the Democrats to Trump or stayed with Trump despite an ideological conflict with him.

The categories are:

  • Red Blooded and Blue Collared
  • Perot-istas
  • Rough Rebounders
  • Girl Gun Power
  • Rotary Reliables
  • King Cyrus Christians
  • Silent Suburban Moms

The category names are probably transparent enough to more or less figure out what each group is defined by.

For each of these categories there are several individuals who exemplify the profile but live in a different location.  These locations are rural, town and cities located in the ten counties in question:

  1. Lee County, Iowa
  2. Howard County, Iowa
  3. Macomb County, Michigan
  4. Lake County, Michigan
  5. Ashtabula County, Ohio
  6. Stark County, Ohio
  7. Erie County, Pennsylvania
  8. Luzerne County, Pennsylvania
  9. Kenosha County, Wisconsin
  • Vernon County, Wisconsin

 

In each of these categories and in each of these locations we are shown how the Democrats went from being the natural or default choice to instead become the reason to believe in the unlikely personage of Donald J. Trump.  Although the list includes some individuals who are affluent and highly educated they all reside in areas of the country that have been either taken for granted or abandoned by the Democrat Elite.  They range from pillars of the community and entrepreneurs to folks who have barely survived hard economic times that coincided with personal tragedy and challenge.  But they all look to Donald Trump to correct problems.  Economic problems, cultural problems, moral problems.  Not all of these people are conservatives or even moderates.  Some are demonstrably old school Democrats.  But what they all are is self-described Americans.  None of them think of themselves as citizens of the world.  None of them have bought into the globalist perspective and many of them are obviously mourning for the death of their homes.  Places like Erie and Freeland Pennsylvania are for all intents and purposes dead.  There aren’t any growing industries and even the few employers left are slowly moving out to the sunbelt.  Young adults leave for opportunities elsewhere.  Parents and grandparents stay because they can’t sell their houses.  Who would buy them?  All they are left with is memories of happier times when they were part of a thriving community with a future and the dignity of earning a living and raising their families.  In these places voting for Donald Trump is almost a reflex.  A final self-defensive movement.  But other examples show communities that are still viable and even thriving but recognizing that the Democrats don’t pretend to care about the values that differentiate these communities from the progressive narrative.  Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio.  These are all places that are seeing themselves ignored because they are the areas where remnant blue collar communities are supposed to disappear and be replaced by the new constituencies that are earmarked for inclusion in the “coalition of the ascendant.”

In the next installment I’ll give my thoughts on some of the stories and what I think they mean to me, in other words, how they square with my own understanding of the American situation.

Trump vs Kim Jung Un and the Bad Example

I went through the “Trump vs” spoof posts and picked the one I liked best.  I’ll post one section a day but if you want to read ahead or start at the beginning I have the links at the bottom and top of each post to the previous and next installments.  This one began back in March 2018.

 

Trump vs Kim Jong Un and the Shanghai Noon

 

Dramatis Personae: President Trump – (PT); Vice President Pence – (VPP); Melania Trump – (MT); James (Mad Dog) Mattis – (JM); Kim Jong Un (KJU)

 

Scene 1- 8am White House West Wing; Oval Office; President Trump sitting at his desk with the office phone on his ear.  Vice President Pence is just entering through the door.

VPP – Mr President?

PT – (speaking into the phone) Sorry, let me call you back, somebody is interrupting.  (hangs up) Mike, what?

VPP – Sorry to interrupt Mr. President, but you haven’t screamed my name looking for me since before you left on your trip.  I was wondering if anything was wrong.

PT – You know Pence, it’s not always all about you, you know.  Maybe sometimes I call other people up when I need something.  That is possible isn’t it?

VPP – Well, sure, I guess.  But I have grown accustomed to your early morning summons, so you know, I was just kind of surprised by the quiet.

PT – Yeah, well, don’t worry I’ll make sure and let you know when I need you.  Now go ahead and get your first morning nap before you get cranky.

VPP – Alright Mr. President, goodbye. (as he goes to close the door on his way out he sees that President Trump is once again talking on the phone)

PT – Yeah, I got rid of him.  Honestly, I don’t know why I hired him but mistakes can be corrected.

Scene 2:  Outside the First Lady’s Office in the White House later that day.  In front of the door Vice President Pence and Secretary Mattis meet up.

JM – Hello Mike.

VPP – Hi Jim.  Were you called here too?

JM – Yeah, what’s it all about?

VPP – Well, the way things have been going around here only a fortune teller could know. (he knocks on the door)

MT – (calling through the door),  Come in Mike and Mad Dog. (they enter and close the door behind).

VPP – Hello Melania.  Good to see you again.

JM – Good afternoon First Lady.

MT – Hello Vice Mike and Mad Dog, please sit down.  The reason I have summoned you is because Schmoopey is acting very strange.

JM – And by “Schmoopey” ma’am you mean?

MT – Ah, forgive me.  Schmoopey is the pet name that Donald and I use for each other.  It is a Seinfeld reference, is it not?

JM – I wouldn’t know ma’am.  Jerry Seinfeld is some kind of hippie, I believe, so I’ve never seen him on the television.

VPP – Melania, could you be a little more specific about the President’s behavior.  Opinions may differ on very strange.

MT – He is obsessed with Kim.  That is all he thinks about all day.

VPP – Melania you must be wrong.  When Kim Kardashian came to the White House that was just a public relations event.  She means nothing to the President.

MT – No Vice Mike.  I mean that fat little psychopath Kim Jong Un.  They talk all day and night, laughing and joking.  And the more he talks to Kim the scarier he gets.

JM – Ma’am, what do they talk about?

MT – They talk about making their enemies disappear.  Someone must stop this.

VPP – Melania, I’m sure the President is just pretending to be Kim’s friend to get his cooperation.

MT – I do not think this is so.  Schmoopey has been very angry with the Fake News.  I think he is looking to get the revenge.

JM – Ma’am, what can we do?

MT – You must break the evil spell that holds him captive.

VPP – Melania, we’ll help the President.  Don’t fret.

MT – Thank you gentlemen.  Now I must get back to my memoirs.  Goodbye.

Scene 3:  That night; White House Teleconferencing Center, President Trump sitting in front of a teleprompter with Kim Jong Un’s image projected in front of him, Mattis and Pence entering from behind him.

PT – So did you really boil the entire Nork Press Corp in honey and feed them to bears?

KJU – You bet you I do!  And then I feed bears to sharks.  Very, very funny.

PT – Well, my short fat friend, you certainly have your own style.  But I’ll settle for results.  Did I tell you how I eliminated sixteen rinos without firing a shot?

KJU – Ouuuh, rhino horn good for the rub rub.

PT – Maybe, but these rinos had already had their horns and their genitals removed before the event.

VPP – Mr. President, may we have a word with you?

KJU – Donald, these dogs are interrupting us.  Have them fed to sharks!

PT – No Jung Un the sharks are already full, besides I still need these servants for a little longer.

KJU – I bored.  I go. (screen goes blank)

PT – Jim, Mike what do you want?

VPP – Mr. President, we’ve heard some disturbing reports about your behavior.

PT – Schmoopey ratted me out!

JM – Mr. President, that little psychopath Kim can’t be trusted.  You said so yourself last month.

VPP – That’s true Mr. President.  I remember you were afraid he’d try to poison you.

PT – Yes, but that was before we became friends.  Now he’s shown me how to deal with the Fake News, Crooked Hillary and the Deep State all at the same time.

JM – But we’re Americans, we’re the good guys we don’t murder other Americans just because of political differences.

PT – Are you telling me Hillary Clinton, Peter Strzok and Jim Acosta are loyal Americans.

JM – Hmmm, I get your point.

VPP – But Mr. President, that’s besides the point.  If you stoop to their level, they win.

PT – If you do blah, blah, blah they win?  Who do you think I am, W?  Mike, you and Mad Dog convene the Cabinet for a special meeting.  I want to get the whole team’s ideas on some of Jong Un’s “special techniques.”

VPP – Mr. President, why don’t we start with just the three of us?  I’m not sure Jeff Sessions would survive it.

PT – Yeah that may not be a problem for much longer.  Okay, let’s get down to brass tacks.  Sessions isn’t going to do anything about the mess in the DOJ or Mueller.  My friend Jong Un sent me plans for his built-in shark tank.  I have it installed under the floor in the White House basement and whenever I want a problem to go away I invite the “problem” for a heart to heart chat and a stroll around the basement and before you know it the problem is a just a greasy residue to be filtered out of the tank water.

VPP – Mr. President, that’s monstrous!

PT – Would that count for Joe Biden?

JM – Hold on Mike, maybe we should hear him out.

VPP – No!  Not even for Creepy Uncle Joe.  Look you are just allowing yourself to get swept up in the whole Caligula thing that Kim Jong Un has going on.  Remember how that worked out for Caligula himself.  Or Nero, or Hitler or any of those other psychos.

PT – Well Stalin did alright.

VPP – But this is America, it’s not the Soviet Union yet.  Look at it realistically.  If all your enemies start mysteriously disappearing, like they do around the Clintons then you’ll be treated the same way they are.  Everyone will fear and hate you.  You’ll never get re-elected and after you die your corpse will be desecrated.

JM – They might call you Crooked Donald.

PT – Never thought of that.  That would be bad for the Trump brand.  Alright, you’ve convinced me, no shark tank.  But I have to say, you guys are nowhere near as much fun as Jong Un.

VPP – And I have some more bad news for you.  You’re gonna have to break off your bromance with the short fat maniac.

PT – No way, he’s fun and he’s got a great head of hair.

VPP – Yes, way.  Melania is very upset with you and if you don’t straighten up she’ll bolt.

PT – Schmoopey?  I can’t have that.  Okay, you win, I’ll break up with Jong Un.  But you guys are gonna have to raise your game.  If I get too bored I’ll have to reconsider the shark tank.

JM – How about a pinochle game on Thursday nights?

VPP – Charades?

PT – (under his breath) Shark tank.

 

Morning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi