LGBTQIA Is a Waste of Time

Depending on whether you add in all the minor weirdos to the mix, the LGBTQIA***** organized crime group takes up an inordinate amount of my time every time I have to say or write their name.  Sure, it doesn’t look like all that much but it’s at least seven syllables and saying and writing that gobbledygook doesn’t exactly coming trippingly to the tongue or thumb.

It can be debated as to whether they have made up this goofy acronym just to be annoying or not.  After all these aren’t the most rational individuals.  It’s highly likely that their actions are almost random and the chances of anything they do not being annoying is probably very low.  So, I won’t go down that road.  But intentional or accidental I’m just tired of having to go through all the work of writing out that nonsense.

So, what to call them?  I could call them the weirdos but that isn’t specific enough.  I could call them the sexual weirdos.  But that sounds a little too benign to describe a group that has caused so much mayhem and misery.  I guess I could use the term sexual defectives.  That signifies that the problem is inherent and isn’t their fault.  They’re just broken from the start.  That was their claim a decade or two ago.  If I want to be less specific, I can call them sexual deviants.  That leaves the question of their choice out of it.

Are six syllables still too much?  How about just deviants?  Most of the time that would be enough.  What other deviants are there that they could be mixed up with?  We don’t call drug addicts deviants typically.  Plain old criminals aren’t typically called deviants.  Psychopaths and sociopaths have their own specific definitions.  Unless I’m missing something, it looks like the term is available.

So that seems like a good fit.  I’ll call them sexual deviants maybe once in an article and drop back to just plain deviants in the rest of the references.  Who knows how many man-hours I may save by this new designation?  I predict I’ll add years to my life by this little innovation.  Maybe I should patent it or copyright it or something.  I could come to be known as the man who eliminated the LGBTQIA.  How cool would that be?

So let me try this out for a while and see how it fits.  It doesn’t differentiate the differences between the various fetishes that make up the deviant confederation.  It doesn’t speak to the particular delusion that would drive someone to declare himself gender fluid.  But maybe that’s the beauty of it.  I’m not exactly interested in understanding the various quirks and kinks that define and explain all of these people.  I just need a term that accurately designates them as a whole.  I’ll leave it to lawyers and doctors to understand them or define their relationship to the rest of the world.  All I need is a way to stop worrying about memorizing another letter they’ve added to their alphabet soup every time they think of a new way to torture their bodies and souls.