The Girl on the Train – A Movie Review

This week Camera Girl picked a Netflix movie.  She remembered seeing commercials for the movie back in 2016 and so she had the impression that it was a good mystery.  Well, we watched it tonight.  Camera Girl will not be recommending movies for a very long time.

To say that this movie was awful would be understating just how bad I found it.  The star is an actress named Emily Blunt.  Along with the seven other main characters I can’t remember feeling even a twinge of empathy for any of them.  Even in the extreme case of one character discussing the accidental drowning of her infant daughter all I could think of was that she should have been prosecuted for negligent manslaughter.  The movie seemed to be a vehicle for building one of the male characters into a monster.  Apparently, all the women were either too stupid or too beaten down by the evil patriarchy to recognize this man for the ogre he was.

But even putting aside the anti-male strawman plot line, the movie is just a train wreck of other problems.  The first and most annoying problem is that the action is constantly jumping back and forth between different scenes in the past and the present.  It’s today, then it’s two years ago, then back to today and then four months ago, then last Wednesday, then Bastille Day (okay, I made that one up but you get the picture).  Eventually you lose track and finally you lose interest and in my case consciousness.

In addition to the flash backs, two of the actresses are very close in appearance.  So much so that at certain critical points in the plot you’re not sure who you’re looking at.  And this is even before the characters have been identified.  Basically, you really don’t know what the hell is going on.  So, the plot unwinds and slowly and painfully all the other explanations are exhausted and you’re left with the most hackneyed setup since “the butler did it.”

I will go out on a limb and say that most people will find this movie to be poor.  The movie is intentionally tinged with misery and psychosis.  In this environment none of the characters displays endearing or attractive or even admirable traits.  Even the victims come off as unlikable zombies.  I know it’s a cliché to say you want that two hours back but in the case of The Girl on the Train it’s entirely accurate.

Verdict:  This movie sucks.  Don’t watch it.

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4 years ago

Well, other than that, did you enjoy the movie?