Star Trek – The Original Series – Complete Series Review – Season 3 Episode 18 – The Lights of Zetar

With these incredibly bad episodes it’s hard to marshal the will to even write the summary of the plot.  After all they took almost no effort in writing the damn thing.  Why should I have to waste time repeating it?  Well, c’est la vie.

Scotty is in love with a Lt. Mira Romaine who is on a mission with the Enterprise to visit “Memory Alpha” which is the equivalent of Wikipedia.  But a giant cosmic plastic bag full of Christmas lights attacks the Enterprise and invades Romaine’s brain.  Then the bag of lights goes to Memory Alpha and erases the memory and kills the nerds working there.  Then it comes back to get Romaine on the Enterprise.  When it enters into Romaine’s body Kirk has her put into the hyperbaric chamber and apparently forty or fifty atmospheres of pressure destroys this enormously powerful bag of lights without killing Romaine.  Finally, there is a laugh filled moment when Spock, McCoy and Scotty all agree that Romaine is well enough to go back to work.  Kirk yucks it up over this unanimity and exclaims, “Can I stand the strain?”

Whoever wrote this thing must have spent fifteen minutes thinking it up.  This must have been after they knew the show was doomed and they were just killing time until they started looking for new jobs.  Scotty drooling and pawing at the girl is creepy and off-putting.  It somewhat reminds me of the behavior of Gollum when he gets his hands on the One Ring.  There was a scene when the bag of lights was taking over Romaine and she started making a gargling noise.  It reminded me of the sound one of my dogs makes when he is about to throw up.  It was the high point of the episode.

The dialogue is vapid.  The plot is non-existent.  I’ll be kind and give it a 2 // 2.

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Chemist
Chemist
17 days ago

The thing I hated about this episode was that they made Lt. Romaine out to be the love of Scotty’s life. And you felt for sure she then would have to die. But she didn’t – she lived.
Great! A new character!
Nope. Never saw her again.
Lazy writing.

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