Tag: Fauxcahantas

A Eulogy for the Losers

photog Current Events , , , , , , ,

And just like that, we’re down to two.  Oh sure, Granny Warren is still in the race but after losing her “home” state there’s not much left to do but shovel some dirt on her carcass and call it a campaign.  A newly reminted Biden is ready to spout inexplicable nonsense all the way up to the convention.  Bernie is in a panic and will have to yell even louder and wave his arms even more wildly.  It’s going to be amazing.

But what I want to talk about is what is to become of the losers.  Just look at them.  Sure, technically most of them still have high paying jobs and health insurance but how can they go forward with their lives when they’ve been forced to say ridiculous things now for half a year.  All of them have raised their hands and said they believe in the Green New Deal and that AOC isn’t certifiably insane.  Beto O’Rourke even claimed he was going to take our guns.  And most importantly, they all made fun of the old white guys in the race.

And yet here we are and as far as the eye can see all there are is old white guys!  So, it’s not like these folks are gonna get much love from Biden or Bernie.  So, they’ll have to go back to work and make believe they’re Senators or ex-mayors or skateboarding Kennedy clones or whatever the hell Tom Steyer does nowadays.  But one thing’s for sure.  I’m gonna miss these crazy bastards.

Just think of all the fun and laughs we’ve had as each one explained how his plan was better than her plan, all without recourse to facts or even the magic of mathematics.  Watching Kamala tell Creepy Uncle Joe that he had made her cry when he wouldn’t let her be bussed to a good school.  Or ButtPete berating Amy Klobuchar for not knowing the name of the Mexican President.  Or Fauxcahantas shaking with rage as she declared that Bernie had told her a woman couldn’t be elected President.  And what about Spartacus trying to say anything at all?  His pop-eyed expression and goofy voice always cheered me up.  He never was coherent in any of the debates but he always looked so excited and hopeful, the poor little guy.

But my overall favorite was Beto.  He postured and swore and skate-boarded his way into our hearts.  I’m old enough to guess that he was put forward based solely on his resemblance to one of the Kennedys.  Some child of the sixties in a newsroom must have made it his project to give the hapless Beto just enough publicity to force him on the public eye.  Too bad they couldn’t get him to read from a better script.  Every time he opened his mouth the stupid came pouring out and destroyed any doubts about how empty his big head was.  So Beto is the poster child for the group.  What does he do now?  He’s not qualified for any useful task and he’s too well known to attempt a normal life as, say, a lifeguard or a movie usher.  His choices are either to be locked away in a mad house or given a show on MSNBC.  Interestingly enough, Chris Matthews’ “retirement” provides a ready-made spot for Beto.  His audience would be almost as stupid as he is and therefore reasonably willing to listen to him jabber on in Spanglish about how, “el hombre naranja est muy malo.”  You know the more I think about it the better I like it.  In fact, I think all failed Democrat politicians should be warehoused on MSNBC or CNN.  Eventually that much stupidity concentrated in one place should tear a hole in the fabric of space and suck the whole studio straight into another dimension, hopefully one inhabited by some Lovecraftian horror that can feast on their stupidity for millennia.

I know I’ve gone a little overboard but darn it I’m gonna miss those losers and I didn’t want to let them go without saying goodbye.

The Liarwatha Strategy

photog Current Events, Trump , , , , , , ,

As much as it pains me, I think I’ll have to accept that we’re going to lose Creepy Uncle Joe.  As my regular readers are aware of, I opined that Biden would be the candidate.  And I waxed poetic on the glories of a Biden filled debate experience, the gaffes, the non-sequiturs, possibly even lewd hand gestures.  But it was not meant to be.

This isn’t easy for me to accept.  I was sure he’d have staying power and once he unleashed the “Corn Pop” narrative I thought the troops would rally around his standard.  But I fear it’s too late.  Knowledge of just how crooked Joe and Hunter Biden were has permeated the American consciousness.  I fear Uncle Joe is toast.  No more sidling up and shoulder clutching or hair sniffing.  I fear Joe has fondled his last ambassador’s wife.

Ahh, well.

So, who shall it be?  Well things have settled out and the outcome seems clear.  Fauxcahantas is neck and neck with Creepy Uncle Joe and his backers are pulling back.  Comrade Bernie had a heart attack and appears relatively low energy at this point.  His numbers are trailing off and I assume he’ll be out of the race after New Hampshire.  No one else besides these three has been able to break single digits since early August.  At this point Kamala, Mayor Butt, Spartacus and the rest of that pack of losers are running to see who will be the running mate.  Therefore, Granny Clampett will be the Dem nominee.

Now that I’ve reconciled with the loss of Uncle Joe, it’s time to analyze the correct strategy for defeating the Fake Indian.  And that is an important thing to do.  She will get the same royal treatment that Hillary got when she was running.  As soon as she is the presumptive nominee all polls from that point forward will permanently show her ahead of the President by between five and twenty percentage points.  Also, she will receive nothing but favorable press and every week will feature a puff piece explaining how a woman president is not only the natural result of evolution but also what is predicted, based on being on the right side of history.  And Bill Kristol will declare her the true conservative choice in the race.

I think the important thing to remember is that she will undoubtedly get 100% of the college educated, unmarried, white women’s vote (aka blue-haired cat ladies, present and future).  This is her natural constituency, what the Z-Man would call the vinegar drinking scolds.  She will also get a large chunk of soccer moms, maybe 45% – 55%.  She will get 0% of white working-class men and women.  She will get 30% of upper and middle-class white men.  She will get 95% of the black vote.  She will get 65% of the Hispanic vote.

But here’s the important point, black and Hispanic voters will only come out to vote for her if they are motivated to do so.  If their voters aren’t excited about her, they’ll stay home in droves.  And aside from her fifth-grade teacher’s-nails on the chalkboard-voice, what would turn off the minority voters?  Well how about a fluorescently white woman who used a fake story of minority ancestry to get her a spot on the Faculty of Harvard Law School?  Gee, that might raise a little resentment.  If you were Mexican or Guatemalan, would you want someone who benefitted obscenely from pretending to have Native American blood getting your vote?  I’m guessing not.  And even if she’s pushing slavery reparations and has Kamala Harris as her running mate, I’m not sure that the black voters are really going to embrace her.  Basically, she’s not exactly Barack Obama.

So how do you highlight her dishonesty?  One thing that would work would be to have a tv ad with a Native American spokesman condemning her for the dishonesty and injustice of stealing a spot reserved for someone who truly was a Native American.  This could be reinforced with the text released by the Cherokee nation condemning Warren for her dishonesty and for using her DNA test as some kind of feeble defense.

The timing of this campaign is probably best delayed until the run up to the actual election day.  The middle of October seems like the right time.  Coordinated with this strategy, it would make sense for the President to go after her during the debates on her dishonesty.  A sort of relentless drum beat of accusations on her dishonesty and unfairness to Native Americans sounds like a winning strategy to me.  And, of course it wouldn’t hurt to showcase some of her other weak points.  Her acceptance of the insanely stupid “Green New Deal” that Ocasio-Cortez dreamed up should be especially easy to attack.  With a price tag that probably far exceeds estimates of $94 trillion and an agenda that will crash our economy and deprive us of the energy sources that make modern life economically possible any rational voters will reject candidate who has bought into it.

But the most appealing strategy to apply against Liarwatha is to appeal to people’s innate fear of having to listen interminably to her annoying voice.  The prospect of being hectored for four years by a shrew like her would make any man and many women recoil in horror.  I envision a commercial with a cartoon version of Betty Warren shaking her finger at a crowd of Americans and lecturing them about their responsibilities to the future and reminding them that whatever individual accomplishments they may have achieved that, “you didn’t build that!”

Well, I guess if I have to give up Creepy Uncle Joe, Fauxcahantas won’t be so bad.  I estimate there’s at least a 30% chance she’ll stroke out during the debates.  And after defeating Hillary and Liarwatha the Dems may give the woman candidate thing a pass in 2024.  But then again who knows.  We can always hope that Joe comes back as an 82-year-old trans-gender Creepy Grandma Josephine for an even more exciting race in the future.  He did say there were at least three genders.

 

 

A Busy Week for Right Wing Political Observers

photog Current Events, Trump , , , , , ,

Well, the week has been action packed.  The Climate Nuts are panicking the children and the feeble minded with their Children’s Crusade.  The President humorously mocked the sixteen-year-old climate activist who has been screeching at her supporters all week.  Very funny indeed.

Now Nancy Pelosi and President Trump are sparring over the Ukraine and its investigation of Biden and his son.  Pelosi has begun a formal Impeachment proceeding and all the usual suspects are screaming that treason has been committed and heads will roll.  Of course, the fact that it was Biden and his son that were shaking down the Ukrainians under Obama’s regime is ignored.

And just in case that isn’t enough the British Supreme Court has declared the Prime Minister’s suspension of Parliament illegal.

Interestingly enough Rasmussen shows the President’s approval rating at its highest point in two years (52%).

Well, what does all this mean?  Just that President Trump and his enemies are locked in the death struggle that they’ve had going on for the last four years.  But the difference is he’s eliminated some of the really weak links in his team.  If Jeff Sessions were still Attorney General by now, he would have recused himself in favor of Rod Rosenstein and a new special prosecutor would be drip-dripping stories to the New York Times and Rachel Maddow would be starting her death watch for the Trump Administration again.

But not this time.  Instead, the FBI is investigating the Biden Ukraine scandal and even I am starting to have doubts about Creepy Uncle Joe making it to the convention.  Lately Fauxcahantas has overtaken Bernie in the polls and has even passed Biden in the Iowa poll.  The youth contingent of the progressives is happy to see that an old white guy won’t be the candidate but the party leaders are worried that the Fake Indian won’t get the enthusiastic support of the black community.  In particular, black women haven’t really embraced Warren.  This kind of uncertainty is very good for our side.  It won’t give the Dems as much time to memory hole the dirt on whichever candidate gets through.  And it will make it harder to recruit the Veep for the ticket.  After all Creepy Joe is a strange weirdo but compared to the likes of Warren or Harris, he’s almost Santa Claus.

Many right wing pundits fear Fauxcahantas as the more formidable opponent in 2020.  I will admit that she hasn’t forgotten what state she’s in or mixed up which decade things happened like Plugs Biden has, but she’s a deeply unlikeable woman whose only natural constituency is middle aged professional white women.  Men find her voice comparable to fingernails screeching over a chalk board.  In other words, sort of like Hillary Clinton.

Also, she has publicly stated that she supports Medicaid for all, free healthcare for illegal aliens and the ludicrously expensive and hopelessly ineffective Green New Deal.  I think even Jeb Bush could manage to attack her over those awful policies.  But it won’t be Jeb at the debates it will be the Man Who Buried Hillary.  The only real question is whether he calls her Liarwatha during his opening statement or during the first round of questions.

So far this has been a very interesting week.  Many people feel that President Trump intentionally initiated this Ukraine dust-up to force Pelosi to begin impeachment.  At this point, that seems possible.  The consensus is that Pelosi wanted to save an impeachment drama for closer to the election to hurt the President’s election chances.  But letting the Ukraine investigate Biden’s son would throw a cloud over the current leading candidate’s campaign and breed fear, uncertainty and depression for the Dems.  It’s sort of a lose/lose situation for the Dems.  There is the chance that forcing the country to go through an impeachment process this close to the election and for no good reason could throw the House of Representatives to the Republicans next year and strengthen President Trump’s hand immeasurably.

And finally getting back to the Brexit situation it remains to be seen if Boris Johnson will be willing to allow a Hard Brexit to occur by refusing to request an extension from the EU.  If that occurs, he could possibly be charged with a crime.  This really is an amazing situation.  It will take guts to do it but if he does it might make him the most popular Prime Minister since Winston Churchill.

Stay tuned.  Things seem to be heating up.

 

22SEP2019 Update – The Dem Race Begins to Take Shape

photog Current Events, OCF, Trump , , , , , ,

So, this week we’ve lost Bill DeBlasio.  As the President mentioned, New York City is in a panic because Bill’s returning there and sure to cause fresh havoc in Gotham City.

And word has come down from Spartacus that unless his backers send him $1.7 million before September 30th, he’s going to drop his shield and short sword and drop out of the race.  Kind of makes you wonder a little about why he’s in the race.  What I want to know is who will keep the white supremacists in check if Cory drops out of the race.  I mean sure, Creepy Uncle Joe and Kamala Harris are woke to the threat of rampaging gun-wielding white fascists but Spartacus was the one who made it his signature issue.  And without a doubt Beto has laid claim to the gun grabbing title with his hats, coffee mugs and other branded paraphernalia but Spartacus was so much more real.  Yes, Cory Booker will be missed by those supremacists.

Today I read that Fauxcahantas has taken a two-point lead over Creepy Joe in Iowa.  Losing Uncle Joe so early in the process would be a blow.  The whole problem of his son and the Ukraine could spell the end of my prediction for Joe to be the November victim for President Trump.  So sad, so sad.  Well if it’s to be Fauxcahantas (and I’m not admitting to it yet) then let it be Fauxcahantas and Kamala Harris.  That is a dream ticket for President Trump.  Between the shrieks of Fauxcahantas and the whining and crying of Harris there wouldn’t be a man in America with a testosterone level above zero who would vote for that nightmare.  Now the flip side of that is every cat lady and power skirt in the country will try to vote twice for them.  But somehow, I don’t see them getting much of the female black vote.

Bernie is now only ahead of Warren in New Hampshire where he is shown trailing Joe by about a point.  But nationally the Fake Indian is leading him by a couple of points.  Bernie won’t drop out soon.  He’s got a lot of money and a loyal core of Bernie Bros who won’t desert him.

Pete Butt also has a good pile of cash to keep him going and the desire to be Vice President and I see him hanging in there for a good long time.  But as to who would select him for Veep, maybe Harris?  I’m guessing nobody really wants him aboard.

So, of the candidates who still might be around in a few weeks, that leaves Beto.  I think Harris would like to have him for a Veep.  He’s so incredibly shallow and stupid that by comparison even she would look sort of intelligent.  And he’s got a skateboard you know.  He’ll definitely get the poser and hipster vote motivated.

All the rest of the losers hovering around at 3% or lower will be gone by Halloween.  It’s pretty clear that the Media wants Creepy Uncle Joe to drop out.  They’re afraid that he’s too senile and has too many skeletons in his closet to beat the President.  And they’re right but honestly, it’s not as if Bernie or Fake Indian aren’t just as looney.  It’s that old white guy just seems impossible for their narrative.

Emotionally I’m tied to the idea of Creepy Uncle Joe going into the debates.  The spastic hilarity just draws me in.  But Fake Indian is great too.  Fauxcahantas has more than one arrow in her quiver if I may be permitted to use the metaphor.  She shrieks and her eyes bulge behind her Granny Clampett glasses and she gestures and gesticulates like some demented third grade teacher.  There is greatness there.

But never let it be said that I’m a fair-weather friend.  I’m sticking with Crazy Uncle Joe to the bitter end.  The only condition I put on his candidacy is if he strokes out.  If he does, I’ll pull support.  I can’t be responsible for the death of anyone, even Creepy Uncle Joe.

So, let’s recap.  With the Media and nervous big money pushing to anoint Fauxcahantas, Creepy Uncle Joe is hoping to weather the Ukraine thing while Bernie plods along waving the Hammer and Sickle flag of Communism for the Bernie Bros to see.  The only losers who’ll hang in for the Veep sweepstakes look like Harris, Beto, Mayor Pete Butt and maybe Spartacus.  I’m holding out for Uncle Joe but the vultures are beginning to circle.  Stay tuned for more excitement in October.

 

The Democrat Primary Field – Part 2 – Elizabeth Warren

photog Current Events, Trump , , , , , , , ,

The Democrat Primary Field – Part 1 – Joe Biden

 

Being a transplant to New England I have sadly had a ringside seat for the Fauxcahantas, Liarwatha, Granny Clampett, Elizabeth Warren show.  And it has been a spectacle like few others.  But Massachusetts being Massachusetts even the spectacle of Snow White claiming to be Pocahontas did not deny her election to the United States Senate from the Bay State.  They do love their radicals.

Warren is actually the brain behind Obama’s famous “you didn’t build that” assault on entrepreneurs.  He lifted it wholly from a speech she gave in Andover Massachusetts that essentially said that every businessman used the roads and infrastructure that was paid for by all the citizens of the country. Therefore, his ownership of his own business was somehow illegitimate and he should have to pay through the nose to keep a part of what was his.  Her platform is tax the rich.  Free college, free stuff and debt forgiveness.  She’s basically Bernie in a pantsuit.

As communists go, she’s relatively glib.  She can string together sentences that sound reasonably coherent but when she gets started on one of her rants, she gets this manic look in her beady little eyes and it’s clear that she’s actually a pretty dangerous lunatic.  Still compared to the gibbering of Corey Booker or the whining of Kamala Harris or even the demented yammering of Biden she seems almost sane.  So, for that reason, and because of the belief that suburban white women will vote for her in droves many on the right fear her candidacy.  Now I don’t think she’ll get the nomination.  But I wish she would.  Why?  For the sheer joy of watching President Trump call her Fauxcahantas and Liarwatha and Chief Full of Bull.  Can you imagine?  I mean, I think there’s an outside chance she’ll stroke out if he starts laughing at her during a debate.  Think of the tweets.  Think of the rallies.  There would be endless war whoops and memes of Warren’s face on Cigar Store Indians and Indian Head Nickels and her on the warpath.  It’ll be heap big fun.

And Warren’s presidential run has been great for her most loyal torturer in chief Howie Carr.  He is a columnist for the Boston Herald and now that Whitey Bulger is dead “the Fake Indian” as he calls her is his favorite target.  Here’s his latest taunt.

So that’s Fauxcahantas.  She made her career by convincing Harvard Law that she was a lily-white woman of color.  Now she has to convince democrat voters that she can get Americans to believe that she’ll hand them over all the wampum they deserve.  Ugh.