Okay, so maybe I’m pushing it. Maybe it’s too soon. But then again Obama got his preemptively and let’s face it, if we don’t get Joe to Oslo soon it might be kind of embarrassing during the presentation ceremony. And messy.
So, how about it? If proof is needed, we can list Afghanistan, Ukraine (kinda), COVID, January Sixth convictions (by proxy), Trump assassination attempt (by proxy), eleven plus million migrants living on the dole and the laughs we got from the debate, plus the gift of Kamala Harris.
That’s a lot.
What did Teddy Roosevelt have? The Russo-Japanese War peace treaty? Thin soup as far as I can see. After all, are they really any closer to friendship now than they were a hundred odd years ago? Hardly.
No. History is crying out for a Peace Prize for Biden. In fact, the whole thing should be renamed the Joe Biden Peace Prize. And the award should be reworked so that it is a replica of Joe Biden’s head. Smiling, maybe. But I’ll have to think about that. He did have that great look during the debate. You know whenever Trump was mocking him. Not just a confused look but a look of incredible effort like he was trying to remember how to make his mouth close. So maybe that look.
And inscribed on his forehead it could say something like, “Never forget that I, uhhh, look, you know the drill, uhhh, the thing, uhhh, oh forget it.”
Next year, Kamala Harris can get hers; either for winning the election or for losing it. After that either Greta Thunberg or those kids who defaced one of Van Gogh’s sunflower paintings then super glued themselves to the wall. That was world class.
But enough of this daydreaming. Let’s get back to reality. Even if they gave Joe the award tomorrow there’s a good chance, he won’t know what they’re saying or what it means. So, we’ve got to break through the cognitive barrier. What needs to be provided is a clear indication that he’s getting a lot of money. No matter how far gone he is into imbecility he will still recognize and respond to a big pile of cash.
What makes sense is for the award money to be presented in one-dollar bills in a giant burlap bag with a dollar sign printed on the outside and the bills overflowing onto the floor. I guess, in order to make it more familiar it should be presented to Joe by Hunter in his underwear smoking crack cocaine and surrounded by naked hookers.
And to round out the experience Doctor Jill and Barack Obama could be on either side of the stage clapping and telling him what a good boy he’s been for knowing all the words and eating all his ice cream and mostly not soiling himself.
Poor Alfred Nobel. If only he could have lived long enough to see his award go to Barack Obama for his future contributions to world peace (which didn’t quite pan out). And hopefully now to Joe Biden for his good sportsmanship in allowing himself without the need for violence to be forced to exit the Democratic presidential primary that he had already won and hand it over to someone even stupider than himself. Now that’s what I call peace.

