Where’s Joe Biden’s Nobel Peace Prize?

Okay, so maybe I’m pushing it.  Maybe it’s too soon.  But then again Obama got his preemptively and let’s face it, if we don’t get Joe to Oslo soon it might be kind of embarrassing during the presentation ceremony.  And messy.

So, how about it?  If proof is needed, we can list Afghanistan, Ukraine (kinda), COVID, January Sixth convictions (by proxy), Trump assassination attempt (by proxy), eleven plus million migrants living on the dole and the laughs we got from the debate, plus the gift of Kamala Harris.

That’s a lot.

What did Teddy Roosevelt have?  The Russo-Japanese War peace treaty?  Thin soup as far as I can see.  After all, are they really any closer to friendship now than they were a hundred odd years ago?  Hardly.

No.  History is crying out for a Peace Prize for Biden.  In fact, the whole thing should be renamed the Joe Biden Peace Prize.  And the award should be reworked so that it is a replica of Joe Biden’s head.  Smiling, maybe.  But I’ll have to think about that.  He did have that great look during the debate.  You know whenever Trump was mocking him.  Not just a confused look but a look of incredible effort like he was trying to remember how to make his mouth close.  So maybe that look.

And inscribed on his forehead it could say something like, “Never forget that I, uhhh, look, you know the drill, uhhh, the thing, uhhh, oh forget it.”

Next year, Kamala Harris can get hers; either for winning the election or for losing it.  After that either Greta Thunberg or those kids who defaced one of Van Gogh’s sunflower paintings then super glued themselves to the wall.  That was world class.

But enough of this daydreaming.  Let’s get back to reality.  Even if they gave Joe the award tomorrow there’s a good chance, he won’t know what they’re saying or what it means.  So, we’ve got to break through the cognitive barrier.  What needs to be provided is a clear indication that he’s getting a lot of money.  No matter how far gone he is into imbecility he will still recognize and respond to a big pile of cash.

What makes sense is for the award money to be presented in one-dollar bills in a giant burlap bag with a dollar sign printed on the outside and the bills overflowing onto the floor.  I guess, in order to make it more familiar it should be presented to Joe by Hunter in his underwear smoking crack cocaine and surrounded by naked hookers.

And to round out the experience Doctor Jill and Barack Obama could be on either side of the stage clapping and telling him what a good boy he’s been for knowing all the words and eating all his ice cream and mostly not soiling himself.

Poor Alfred Nobel.  If only he could have lived long enough to see his award go to Barack Obama for his future contributions to world peace (which didn’t quite pan out).  And hopefully now to Joe Biden for his good sportsmanship in allowing himself without the need for violence to be forced to exit the Democratic presidential primary that he had already won and hand it over to someone even stupider than himself.  Now that’s what I call peace.

Mutiny on the HMS Biden

Ah, the last few days without political posts have been really enjoyable.  Movies.  Now, that’s more like it.  And I’ll continue the trend going forward but I thought a short post on Debate-Gate would be okay.

This week’s news has been a steady drum beat of regime media flacks and Democrat operatives reiterating the message that for the good of Democracy Joe Biden must drop out of the presidential race.  They describe the replacing of Biden with Harris or some other, younger, less white, less male candidate in exciting and intriguing ways.  Obama and Clinton will preside over some kind of gameshow-like debate where these wondrous candidates will showcase for the nation their intelligence and charm.  A wonderful candidate will be chosen and it will inspire the voters and Trump will go down to ignominious defeat.  All we have to do is convince Joe to release his delegates.

But he doesn’t want to!

And this brings us to every talk show this week.  The formula is always the same, “I love Joe Biden.  He has done more for us than anyone possibly could and he is the most wonderful human being in the world and may possibly be a demi-god. But…”

And then there it is.  But!

But he is a senile, doddering old fool who will lose to Donald Trump in the general election unless we scare him off the ballot or, or, or…

Or what?  Because right now Joe Biden says he’s staying.  And I think he knows you can’t get rid of him unless one of two things happen.

One thing would be for the Justice Department to discover that Hunter Biden has been giving the “Big Guy” ten percent.  That would really work.  Joe would be hauled away and the Democrat Party could remove him for cause.  But would the Democrat side survive the fallout?  Wouldn’t it tar the whole party just in time for the fall vote?

The second way they could get him to quit is pay him off.  Probably $100 million in an off-shore account would do the trick.   But who wants to give Joe Biden all that money?

So, until such time as they are willing to bite the bullet, Joe is hanging tough.  And in the meantime, he puts out these interviews and press conferences where we can see just how demented he is.  And his poll numbers will keep drifting down.  He’s calling Kamala Harris, Donald Trump.  And Zelensky, Putin.  And he’s making millions into billions, into trillions and who knows what’s next.  And it’s only a matter of time until he stops wearing pants.  Basically, Grandpa Simpson is running the country and our allies abroad are starting to wonder whether they should start sizing up their other options.

And so, as we head into the Republican Convention and then the Democrat Convention media talking heads and congress-critters will continue running around in circles with their heads exploding all over the place.  All because the polls keep getting worse and worse for Biden but he just won’t do what he’s told.

And isn’t that great.

Cry Me Denial

I watched the Stephanopoulos interview.  Compared to how that midget would have grilled a Republican this was a lovefest.  But as carefully and as politely as he could couch the questions, he still tried to get Biden to admit that the public thinks he’s senile.  And because they believe this the polls are showing his support slipping.

But Biden would have none of it.  According to Joe the race is dead even.  He’s on track to beat Trump and he’s never been sharper.  He’s trotting the globe defeating tyrants, expanding democracy and swashbuckling his way into history.  And only the Almighty can tell him to quit.

I’m not a fan of Stephanopoulos.  I think he’s a detestable partisan rat pretending to be an objective journalist.  But it was painful to see how completely unwilling Biden was to admit to any problems at all.  His handling of the country.  The public’s perception of his mental state.  Or in his present position in the electoral polls.  In Joe’s eyes he’s the best man to run the country and the only man who can prevent Donald Trump from regaining the presidency.

I’m of two minds about this.  The part of me that witnessed the 2020 election results thinks that Joe knows the fix is in and he knows they can print out another million ballots in Philadelphia, Milwaukee and Detroit so everything is honkey-dory.  But the part of me that looks at the state of the country and can’t believe that even the Deep State wants this to continue, thinks that Joe is going to be carted off to the Cracker Factory in January 2025.

But either way it’s fascinating to see Joe Biden on display in all his deteriorating splendor.  His porcelain teeth shining bright in a mouth that can no longer produce clear English.  Near the end of the interview when, “Stephanopoulos asked the president bluntly how he would feel in January if Donald Trump ended up winning the election and his warnings about Trump and democracy came to pass. Biden replied: “I’ll feel as long as I gave it my all and I did the goodest job as I know I can do, that’s what this is about….””

Well, when your kids are two or three years old, goodest is a reasonable thing to say.  It shows a mind finding patterns in the formation of superlatives in English.  Past five I’d say it indicates a problem.  When used by a man running for the office of president of the United States, I’d say it’s a flashing red light.  He’s becoming a doofus.

To sum up the whole experience of watching the interview, it appears that the Left can’t get Joe Biden to jump off his campaign wagon.  And as things continue to unwind for his prospects, I have to admit I’m feeling a certain unbridled enthusiasm beginning to well up.  Sure, I know that anything can happen in the next four months.  And I know that absentee ballots can be printed at an incredible speed.

But even a “win” by Joe Biden at this point will be therapeutic.  How many people will be satisfied if the polls have Biden down by double digit in the swing states and he scratches out a win by a few thousand votes a week later?  I’m guessing almost no one.  And that would put to rest the myth of fair elections once and for all.  And to my mind that would be an acceptable conclusion to the whole populist experiment.  We’d know that dissent is forbidden.  And we could all give up the farce of voting every four years and do something useful instead.

But just imagine if Trump wins.  There would be a party that would go on for a week.  People would be dancing in the street and YouTube videos of Democrat voters wailing and gnashing their teeth would be playing on endless loops until the whole internet finally crashed.  Joe Scarborough and Rachel Maddow would have to be committed to lunatic asylums for electroshock therapy for a month just to stop them from screaming.

And I wouldn’t be able to stop smiling for a month.

Comic Relief

So, the dust has begun to settle on Debate-Gate as many have begun to call it (well, anyway I just did).

Three quarters of the country now admit that Joe Biden’s skull is almost completely empty.  The other twenty five percent are waiting for space aliens and/or Elvis to explain Biden’s answers from that night to them in one syllable words of five letters or less.

And since Biden has dropped to six points behind Trump in the popular vote and even more in the swing state polls and since the evil party is indeed the evil party, we can assume that in a few weeks Kamala Harris will be the Democrat nominee.  And she will do this unencumbered by her even emptier skull.

And she might even “win” the election.  We know that absentee ballots are a powerful force in the right (wrong) hands.  So be it.

But all that being said, this has been a marvelous week.  Democrats have been howling and shrieking every day about how unfair it all is.  Today I listened as Lawrence O’Donnell explained how during a debate each candidate should have a staff available to answer the questions that the candidate doesn’t know the answer to.  He even said that the staff should answer the questions too.  He didn’t mention an option where the candidate doesn’t even show up to the debate but that does seem to be the next logical step in this progression.  I guess the end point would be dropping the concept of a president and just have competing bureaucratic teams (or maybe AI algorithms) running for office.

Another amusing point of panic is how can Kamala Harris be separated from the ticket without losing all the campaign money that is tied to either Biden or Harris.  Everyone had a favorite scenario for making Newsom or Whitmer or Pritzker or Lord help us, Michelle Obama the nominee without losing the black vote.  Of course, Obama or Senator Warnock, being black, would make that easier but the candidates they really want are Whitmer or Josh Shapiro who are respectively the governors of Michigan and Pennsylvania and thereby provide some boost in picking up those states that are currently leaning Trump.

So, the pundits are like Indiana Jones trying to replace the golden idol with the bag of sand without triggering the death trap with the giant boulder chasing Indie through the cave.  There is talk of making her a Supreme Court Justice (wow!).  Maybe she could be vice president again (wow!).  I don’t know.  I’d offer her a lifetime pass to the zoo and all the peanuts and cotton candy she can eat from now on.  Maybe they could throw in her very own electric yellow school bus.  She really likes those.

Anyway, the point is that the pain experienced by the Left has been downright exhilarating.  Listening to them cry and complain and bang their heads on their desks as Joe Biden is exposed as a mental patient has been the gift that keeps on giving.

Now this can’t go on forever.  Eventually the Left will figure out a way to put this behind them.  And when they do, they will come after Donald Trump like a flock of demented harpies; all fangs and venom.  But that’s alright.  That’s the status quo.  Hopefully that will be in August.  By then I’ll be prepared for that phase of the election farce.  Hideous things are bound to happen between then and November.  Horrible people do horrible things.  But they’ll never be able to take away, “We finally beat Medicaid.”  And that’s good enough for me.

Guest Contributor – Milo Mindbender – 01JUL2024 – Trump Unplugged

 

The funniest thing about the debate and all the fallout from it is listening to the talking skulls yammer on about how Trump is showing decline and is unfit, but Joe is capable to continue for “the good of the the country” while trying their best not to believe their lying eyes.
The debate looked like a cross between weekend at Bernie’s, Madame Tussauds’ Wax Museum, and Disney’s Hall of Presidents with a glitch in the soundtrack and this was after a week of preparation for the 1.5 hour farce. Trump was able to keep his mouth shut enough to avoid alienating or distracting the viewers from the spectacle of the emperor’s new clothes. The biggest service they did him was muting his microphone so he was only visual when not answering. This demonstrated the level of connection each candidate possessed to the reality around them. If Trump had been able to blurt out stream of conciseness thought he would have been off-putting to a large portion of the audience, but by keeping him quiet it exposed the depth to which Joe is out of touch with everything around him.

Jab Cross

What a crazy week.  Thursday has thrown the Left into a tailspin.  It’s been a one-two punch.  The debate shocked them into realizing that Dementia Joe really is Dementia Joe.  That was the jab.  But then they realized that the Bidens and apparently the Obamas and the Clintons want Joe to stagger forward with the campaign.  Without the Bidens concession, the delegates will have to confirm Joe’s candidacy.  The was the right cross.  So, they’re looking around and trying to figure out what the hell to do.

And the squealing is marvelous.  Whole divisions, whole armies of hysterical losers have been thrown into an uproar.  They can’t imagine how this could be possible.  “All the experts told us that Joe was razor sharp behind closed doors.  He’s like a super-computer, spitting out facts and figures with the machine-like precision of some kind of futuristic artificial intelligence.  He’s the Biden 9000.”

Yeah, not so much.  Dr. Jill gives him his oatmeal and egg whites and if he’s a good enough boy he’ll get an ice cream cone for lunch but they can only drag out one of those “state of the union” Adderall, dog and pony shows every six months.  More often than that would probably kill him.  So stupid Joe is what they get.

“But Trump lied!”  Sure, Trump exaggerates when he talks.  He’s a salesman.  That’s what they do.  But at least he’s an honest liar.  He’s telling you the elevator pitch for what really exists.  But Biden is a congenital liar.  He lies as often as the rest of us breathe.  And any resemblance between his story and reality is purely coincidental.  He couldn’t stop lying if his life depended on it.  It’s who he is.  The funniest moment of the debate is when Biden claimed that he had a six handicap in golf.  Trump made a wry face and started laughing at him.  When Joe quibbled about it, Trump ended by saying “Please, let’s not act like children.”  And when Donald Trump tells you you’re being childish you know you’ve hit bottom.

So now Biden has gone back on the campaign trail with Dr. Jill and he’s embracing his hollowed-out cerebral cortex as a badge of courage.  “I may not be able to walk, talk, count to four, control my bowels or remember my name but I’m not a liar.  I’m simply a mental patient.”  Four more years!  Four more years!

It’s a lot of fun.  And it’s worked out almost impossibly well for Trump.  The undeniable truth of just how unqualified Joe Biden is to be the commander in chief of the US armed forces is permanently on view from Thursday’s debate.  There’s just no way to deny what we saw.  And this should be enough to eliminate the honest voters who hate both Trump and Biden.  Now at worst, they’ll vote for no one.  It will be, in their minds, indefensible to put Biden in possession of the nuclear football.  But chances are, at least some of them will vote for Trump.  And that may be enough to overcome the fraud campaign in the Great Lakes states.  Not definitely but plausibly.

And the panic this has inspired has been echoing around the internet like a cannon shot.  The first few opinion polls have seen Trump get a boost of a few points.  Probably by Tuesday more data will appear.  That should tell me whether I should be dancing in the street or just chuckling over a temporary panic by the lunatics.

But it has made my weekend pleasant.  Thanks Joe.

 

Update:

Bigus Macus
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Biden’s lies are substantial.

Scranton Joe Screws the Pooch

Wow!  I guess politically, I’m not an average American.  So, I can’t say what the rest of America thought of that performance.  But by my reckoning Joe Biden got his clock cleaned good and thorough.

Now this may have no effect either on opinion polls or election results.  After all, those things can be arranged independent of what actual people think.  But, wow.

Now obviously Joe was doped to the gills and he had been coached on all the questions that CNN was going to ask.  But it didn’t matter.  He still looked and sounded like a re-animated corpse.  He even managed to have the brain freeze moment we were waiting for.  He was stumbling through one of his rehearsed set speeches when he lost the thread of what he was trying to say.  He stopped for five or ten seconds and then just made some non sequitur to fill the dead air.

I’ll give him credit.  He didn’t fall down or befoul himself.  But it couldn’t have been much worse if he had.

So, the other side.  Trump hammered him the whole time.  The border, inflation, crime.  Over and over again especially with the crime caused by illegal aliens.  He was relentless.  And he was disciplined.  No matter what the question from the moderator, Trump concentrated on whichever topics were scoring the most points.  He was like a boxer who has opened up a cut on his opponent.  He kept after that weak spot and peppered it with jabs.  Eventually he settled on illegal aliens murdering Americans and displacing Americans from their rightful benefits; social security, Medicaid, housing for veterans, jobs.

By the end of the debate Biden actually got a little more lucid.  But by then it was too late.  Every Democrat big wig had gone into full panic mode and was calling up the FBI and the CIA demanding that they blackmail Biden into dropping out of the race “voluntarily.”

So, this was really, really bad for Joe.

Well, will he drop out?  I hope not.  With a performance this shockingly bad he might be able to make the election fraud-proof.  If all of a sudden Trump wins New Jersey and Virginia it doesn’t matter anymore if he loses Pennsylvania.  So, I’m hoping that Joe hangs in there.

But will there be a second debate?  At this point I kind of doubt it.  I don’t think Joe’s handlers want to risk another fiasco like tonight.  So maybe they claim some beef about Trump saying mean things and refuse the September meeting.

And I’ll have to at this point thank Donald Trump for giving me one of the best laughs I’ve had in months.  Trump was disciplined and for him, moderate.  He didn’t go over on his time and he didn’t shout while his microphone was muted.  He just methodically undermined Joe Biden’s whole term as president.  And most enjoyably he called Joe Biden an habitual liar.  And that is the most effective attack that you can end with when attacking Biden.  Because it’s true and it’s common knowledge.  And because inevitably you can point to a lie, he’s making right there at the time you’re talking to him.  He’s that constant.

So, by tomorrow morning polls will be circulating and it should be a crap-fest for Scranton Joe.  Not even Uncle Bosie can save him now.  Even Corn Pop would tell him it’s time to hang up the cap and bells.  But please Joe hang in there.

Waiting for the Geek Show

Thursday is the circus.  Everyone is at a fever pitch.  The newspapers and the cable news have many articles with advice for Joe Biden on how to deflect the questions away from his record in office and concentrate on fortifying our democracy against Trump.

Well, of course they are.  Would anyone expect Tapper or Bash to say anything that doesn’t begin with “convicted felon Trump?”  Of course not.  So, the only truly entertaining way to experience this fun house ride is with a sufficiently large wet bar or a smorgasbord of your favorite snack foods.  I hope to convince Camera Girl to make a few pounds of pastrami and swiss cheese into a bunch of hot sandwiches and add a pot of good coffee to wash it down.

Now I don’t expect any good coming from this Punch and Judy show.  CNN’s questions won’t even be questions.  They’ll just point at Trump and shriek “racist.”  They may ask Biden in soothing terms how he’s managed to stand up to the horror of having to confront the bogeyman but other than that it will be a straight up witch trial.

One thing I am curious to see.  They have said that they will shut off Trump’s mike during Biden’s answers.  I wonder if they will shut off Trump’s mike during his own answers if they think he’s ignoring their questions.  For instance.  Suppose they ask Trump to apologize for January 6th and instead he ignores this and slams Biden on all the problems his administration has; inflation, crime, interest rates, illegal immigration, lack of affordable housing.  I wonder if they’ll shut off his mike and claim he wasn’t following the debate questions.  I imagine if they do that Trump will show his disapproval by miming that his time is being wasted by pointing to his wrist watch.

But other than something like that I don’t assume it’ll be at all interesting.  Biden will be bellowing and shaking his fists and looking agitated.  Trump will look disgusted and disapproving.  And the moderators will look smug and bovine.

I want to watch the whole thing in case something interesting happens.  However, ninety minutes of this might be a little too much.  But what has me trying for the end is the thought that ninety minutes might push Dementia Joe too far on his meds.  Think about it.  They may be afraid to give him enough Adderall to keep him buzzed that long.  In which case he may lapse into gibberish and tales of Uncle Bosey.  Or if they do give him the full dose maybe it’ll just plain finish him off.

Here are some of the side effects from Adderall overdose:

• Restlessness.
• Agitation.
• Tremor.
• Exaggerated reflexes.
• Confusion.
• Panic.
• Aggression.
• Paranoia.
Hallucinations.
• Elevated body temperature.
• Fast breathing.
• Irregular heartbeat.
Tachycardia.
Hypertension or other changes in blood pressure.
• Chest pain.
• Abdominal cramps.
• Nausea and vomiting.
Diarrhea.
• Convulsions.
Coma.

Half of those symptoms already sound like regular Biden.  So, I’m just hanging in there to see if we hit the jackpot.  If during the third half-hour Joe lets his angry old man act get out of hand, he may just go into vapor lock and faceplant right there on the podium.

I mean that would be the ultimate Biden moment.  And if he revives let’s see Haitian Shirley Temple try to convince us that going into cardiac arrest is just a deep fake.  I’d love to see her try.

Update:

H/T to Big Mac

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“Mr. Chairman, I Nominate President Joe Biden’s Reanimated Corpse”

I think a consensus is growing that Joe Biden is one of the “walking dead.”  Okay, maybe technically he’s still alive.  He hasn’t equilibrated to room temperature or anything but essentially he’s a mindless zombie, animated by some occult power that is directly or indirectly tied to voodoo.

And with this consensus comes the necessity of renaming him.  Currently all newscasters make a point of referring to the president as “President Joe Biden.”  It’s never “President Biden.”   It’s as if they’re afraid we might confuse him with some other President Biden.  Perhaps they’re leaving out hope for an eventual President Hunter Biden.  Who knows?

Well, fine, now I want to give him an even more specific name.  I want him designated as “President Joe Biden’s reanimated corpse.”  I think this formulation captures perfectly all of the facets of Biden.  He’s not only Biden, he’s not only the president, but he’s also a zombie in good standing.  Just watching him shambling along moaning, falling down and befouling himself upholds the finest traditions of the classic zombie profile.  And the deathly pallor, vacant stare and incoherent muttering calls up flashbacks of George Romero’s classic Night of the Living Dead.

And in honor of Biden’s homage to this classic film I want to urge that all of Joe’s voters show up on election night dressed as zombies in order to signal their solidarity with our Undead Guy in Chief.  Show up disheveled, spattered in blood and dirt and clutching a half-eaten forearm.  Proudly support the ghoulish incumbent and feel free to gibber and moan when asked which district you’re from.  But at least have the decency to have your driver’s license when you show up.  Don’t be a jerk and waste everybody’s time.

Hopefully the media will have the good sense to arrange a third presidential debate on October 31st.  Only on Halloween will the reanimated corpse of Joe Biden truly reach his full potential and perform at his full capacity.  My hope is that the moderator will be Don Lemon and Undead Joe lives up to his full potential by wandering over to the moderator’s table and devouring Lemon on live tv.  Honestly I think that would be Lemon’s finest hour and it couldn’t hurt Biden’s numbers either.

Regardless of your opinion of Joe vis-a-vis the whole breathing and heart beating thing, you’ll have to agree that we’ve moved into a whole new era with respect to presidential candidates.  Even during Bill Clinton’s time in office we expected the candidates to be lucid, somewhat eloquent and healthy enough to stand on their feet for an hour or two without collapsing or losing control of their sphincters.

Those no longer seem to be necessary.  Anyone who’s watched any of the Biden “glitches” knows that at any moment he can start spouting gibberish or lock up while some normally autonomic function of his body fails and leaves him frozen in place like a mannequin.

I guess what has happened is that president is now a figurehead for the Deep State that runs the executive branch departments and decides on the policies that control the nation.  Okay, let’s say it out loud.  Joe doesn’t really decide anything.  The people who pull his strings do that.  Maybe that makes it easier to pull that lever.