And just like that, we\u2019re down to two.\u00a0 Oh sure, Granny Warren is still in the race but after losing her \u201chome\u201d state there\u2019s not much left to do but shovel some dirt on her carcass and call it a campaign.\u00a0 A newly reminted Biden is ready to spout inexplicable nonsense all the way up to the convention.\u00a0 Bernie is in a panic and will have to yell even louder and wave his arms even more wildly.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be amazing.<\/p>\n
But what I want to talk about is what is to become of the losers.\u00a0 Just look at them.\u00a0 Sure, technically most of them still have high paying jobs and health insurance but how can they go forward with their lives when they\u2019ve been forced to say ridiculous things now for half a year.\u00a0 All of them have raised their hands and said they believe in the Green New Deal and that AOC isn\u2019t certifiably insane.\u00a0 Beto O\u2019Rourke even claimed he was going to take our guns.\u00a0 And most importantly, they all made fun of the old white guys in the race.<\/p>\n
And yet here we are and as far as the eye can see all there are is old white guys!\u00a0 So, it\u2019s not like these folks are gonna get much love from Biden or Bernie.\u00a0 So, they\u2019ll have to go back to work and make believe they\u2019re Senators or ex-mayors or skateboarding Kennedy clones or whatever the hell Tom Steyer does nowadays.\u00a0 But one thing\u2019s for sure.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna miss these crazy bastards.<\/p>\n
Just think of all the fun and laughs we\u2019ve had as each one explained how his plan was better than her plan, all without recourse to facts or even the magic of mathematics.\u00a0 Watching Kamala tell Creepy Uncle Joe that he had made her cry when he wouldn\u2019t let her be bussed to a good school.\u00a0 Or ButtPete berating Amy Klobuchar for not knowing the name of the Mexican President.\u00a0 Or Fauxcahantas shaking with rage as she declared that Bernie had told her a woman couldn\u2019t be elected President.\u00a0 And what about Spartacus trying to say anything at all?\u00a0 His pop-eyed expression and goofy voice always cheered me up.\u00a0 He never was coherent in any of the debates but he always looked so excited and hopeful, the poor little guy.<\/p>\n
But my overall favorite was Beto.\u00a0 He postured and swore and skate-boarded his way into our hearts.\u00a0 I\u2019m old enough to guess that he was put forward based solely on his resemblance to one of the Kennedys.\u00a0 Some child of the sixties in a newsroom must have made it his project to give the hapless Beto just enough publicity to force him on the public eye.\u00a0 Too bad they couldn\u2019t get him to read from a better script.\u00a0 Every time he opened his mouth the stupid came pouring out and destroyed any doubts about how empty his big head was.\u00a0 So Beto is the poster child for the group.\u00a0 What does he do now?\u00a0 He\u2019s not qualified for any useful task and he\u2019s too well known to attempt a normal life as, say, a lifeguard or a movie usher.\u00a0 His choices are either to be locked away in a mad house or given a show on MSNBC.\u00a0 Interestingly enough, Chris Matthews\u2019 \u201cretirement\u201d provides a ready-made spot for Beto.\u00a0 His audience would be almost as stupid as he is and therefore reasonably willing to listen to him jabber on in Spanglish about how, \u201cel hombre naranja est muy malo.\u201d\u00a0 You know the more I think about it the better I like it.\u00a0 In fact, I think all failed Democrat politicians should be warehoused on MSNBC or CNN.\u00a0 Eventually that much stupidity concentrated in one place should tear a hole in the fabric of space and suck the whole studio straight into another dimension, hopefully one inhabited by some Lovecraftian horror that can feast on their stupidity for millennia.<\/p>\n
I know I\u2019ve gone a little overboard but darn it I\u2019m gonna miss those losers and I didn\u2019t want to let them go without saying goodbye.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
And just like that, we\u2019re down to two.\u00a0 Oh sure, Granny Warren is still in the race but after losing her \u201chome\u201d state there\u2019s not<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[1799,2230,2370,1833,2065,1993,1836,760],"class_list":["post-10157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","tag-2020-election","tag-bernie-sanders","tag-beto-orourke","tag-creepy-uncle-joe","tag-fauxcahantas","tag-handicapping-2020","tag-pete-buttigieg","tag-spartacus"],"yoast_head":"\n