Today I was on a videoconference with the Board of Directors of the ShatnerKhan Corporation.\u00a0 These august gentlemen and I began the initial planning of this great enterprise.\u00a0 I must tell you, just knowing that ShatnerKhan II would happen despite the COVID-19 Plague was indeed exciting.\u00a0 It would be like a shining beacon in the inky blackness of cultural hiatus that this quarantine has engendered.\u00a0 It would bring hope and purpose to a weary nation.\u00a0 It might even save countless lives by giving these poor souls the will to throw off the deadly clutches of this sinovirus.\u00a0 \u201cAd astra per aspera.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, it was kind of fun talking about something so frivolous and light hearted.\u00a0 No life and death diseases, no do or die elections just the foibles of that demigod of bad acting William Shatner.\u00a0 We committed ourselves to a much more organized effort.\u00a0 As you might remember ShatnerKhan I was an impromptu gathering with almost no planning, preparation or notice.\u00a0 And most importantly not nearly enough time was spent on the menu for the event.\u00a0 For as I\u2019ve often stated ShatnerKhan is mostly an excuse to eat highly indigestible but exquisitely delicious and altogether splendiferous food.\u00a0 So, I extracted this promise that the first thing to be fixed was the menu.\u00a0 I am a reasonable man and will not prevent whatever personal favorites the Board requests.\u00a0 All I ask is that dill pickles, corned beef, pastrami, pumpernickel bread, potato salad and good brown mustard are lavishly provided.\u00a0 There was talk of all kinds of delicacies but we\u2019ll see what they decide on.\u00a0 I know that sausage and peppers, eggplant parmigiana and panko coated drumsticks were mentioned but I also know that Chinese food was listed at one point.\u00a0 Well, at such an intellectually challenging event the sages need to keep up their strength somehow.<\/p>\n
Moving onto the agenda we discussed how best to avoid burnout from the sheer volume of Shatneriana that was available for review.\u00a0 It was decided that we would extract the quintessence of Shatner goodness from each historical record and in this way reduce the time needed to review it.\u00a0 This will require great amounts of preparatory work.\u00a0 And it will also require much greater technical skill than is currently at the disposal of the Board.\u00a0 For I must confess that when it comes to digital expertise, we are blithering idiots.\u00a0 But this aspect I\u2019ve taken on myself to explore.\u00a0 But the idea is to have a live stream that will capture us bloviating on the various scenes we are critiquing.\u00a0 Of course, to maintain anonymity we will be masked.\u00a0 I suggested Shatner masks.\u00a0 I understand that the mask that the Michael Myers character wore in Halloween was actually based in some way on William Shatner\u2019s face.\u00a0 Whether this is true or not I have also been tasked to look into the masks and other props needed for the event.\u00a0 It was suggested that I find a three-dimensional chess board and a Vulcan lyre like the ones that Spock employed during various episodes of the original series.\u00a0 While I\u2019m at it why don\u2019t I look for Shatner\u2019s missing hairline?\u00a0 But I digress.<\/p>\n
There was a discussion about inviting the great man himself to this great homage to his name.\u00a0 But we were reminded that he\u2019s eighty-nine and also fabulously wealthy.\u00a0 But we may invite him anyway.\u00a0 My guess is he won\u2019t be too pleased by our take on his career and talents.\u00a0 But who knows?\u00a0 I thought maybe we should contact Kevin Pollack.\u00a0 After all he\u2019s fairly famously for imitating Shatner.\u00a0 As you can see, bull was flung pretty freely at this meeting but it was quite stimulating talking about the event.\u00a0 As far as timing the earliest it would be held is midsummer.\u00a0 But based on the current crisis it might also be closer to September.\u00a0 When asked by the Board if the readers of Orion\u2019s Cold Fire could be a source for ideas for the gathering, I said I thought it very well might be.\u00a0 I know of at least one reader who has shown enthusiasm for the idea and I think there is the potential for a collaborative effort where local groups could participate in the live streaming and eat equally indigestible, delicious and splendiferous food.\u00a0 Of course, they\u2019ll have to provide their own masks and food but the spirit of bright camaraderie will more than pay for the foodstuffs needed.<\/p>\n
So, I\u2019m throwing it out to the audience.\u00a0 If you have any ideas practical or ridiculous that should be brought to the attention of the Board and if you have interest in remote link up during such an absurd venture leave a comment or send an e-mail and I\u2019ll make sure you\u2019re kept in the loop when any actual information is available.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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