Let me just start by saying that this episode is so awful that you must see it.\u00a0 It\u2019s marvelously bad.<\/p>\n
When first join our heroes, McCoy is rooting around on his knees in the foothills of Los Angeles.\u00a0 Spock and Kirk were nearby discussing the peaceful inhabitants of the planet (I suppose Angelinos) and Kirk\u2019s earlier visit to the planet as a young officer.\u00a0 Suddenly they notice that one tribe with fake black hair is ambushing with another tribe with fake blond hair.\u00a0 And the attackers have flintlock rifles while the rest of the planet is still using bows and arrows.\u00a0 And most importantly the man about to be shot is Kirk\u2019s old friend Tyree.\u00a0 Rather than use his phaser (and disobey the prime directive) Kirk throws a rock at the rifleman and spoils his shot.<\/p>\n
Hilarity ensues as Kirk and Spock flee back to McCoy while being pursued by the tribesmen.\u00a0 Finally, one manages to shoot Spock in the back and they barely have time to beam up to the Enterprise before being finished off by the black wig guys.\u00a0 Back on the ship McCoy and his esteemed colleague Dr. M’Benga who luckily is an expert at Vulcan physiology, are able to stabilize Spock\u2019s vital signs but his life hangs in the balance as space age medicine is reduced to watching as the self-healing capabilities of Spock\u2019s mind are left to repair the damage.<\/p>\n
Kirk wisely decides not to hang around for that snooze fest and instead beams down to the planet with McCoy and determine if the Klingons that have been seen in orbit are responsible for the advanced weaponry (primitive firearm) that Kirk observed earlier.\u00a0 Kirk\u2019s plan is to speak to his old friend Tyree who is chief of the blond wig tribe and also an embarrassing pacifist.\u00a0 But when they approach the village they are attacked by, and I kid you not, a man in a gorilla suit that\u2019s been bleached white.\u00a0 And if that wasn\u2019t ridiculous enough, they glued a horn on its head and put a row of huge spines running down its back.\u00a0 The gorilla man tosses McCoy away and then starts gnawing on Kirk\u2019s shoulder while he writhes in pain.\u00a0 Eventually McCoy comes to and blasts the gorilla with his phaser.<\/p>\n
But now we find out that this is no ordinary albino, horned gorilla but the much more dangerous albino, horned, venomous gorilla.\u00a0 Now here is the first Shatner Mockery bonanza.\u00a0 Kirk is dying of the venom and he starts shivering and generally spassing out in an hilarious manner.\u00a0 This is some serious bad acting.\u00a0 Then we get to the village and find that Tyree\u2019s wife, Nona, is a witch woman and can cure the deadly bite of the albino, horned, venomous, gorilla.\u00a0 Nona is played by Nancy Kovack, a highly attractive young actress who has been squeezed into a pair of skin tight, leather hip huggers and the traditional gorilla fur bodice.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile back on the ship Spock is in a coma.\u00a0 Dr. M’Benga tells Nurse Chapel that at a certain point Spock would begin to awaken and whatever he asked her to do she must do it.\u00a0 When Spock wakes, he tells Chapel to slap him in the face hard, over and over again.\u00a0 At first reluctant, but after additional demands from Spock she starts slapping him ringingly and seems to warm to her work.\u00a0 Scotty walks in and restrains her bodily but just then Dr. M’Benga arrives and finishes off the face slapping.\u00a0 Successfully slapped silly Spock makes a full recovery.<\/p>\n
Anyway, Nona is disillusioned with the pacifism of her husband Tyree and wants him to get Kirk to provide phasers to allow Tyree to become the great leader of the blond wig nation.\u00a0 In exchange for the promise of advanced weapons she agrees to cure Kirk.\u00a0 This involves her cutting her hand and placing it on the bite while gyrating and undulating on top of Kirk in a highly humorous display.\u00a0 Kirk is cured and later on Nona drugs Kirk to get his phaser.\u00a0 But another albino, horned, venomous gorilla shows up and to save herself from the gorilla she rolls around on the ground screaming for Kirk to help.\u00a0 But the drug has doofed him out and it takes almost two minutes of rolling on the ground before he gets around to disintegrating the gorilla.\u00a0 But for his trouble all he gets is a large jagged rock smashed against his skull by Nona as she steals his phaser.<\/p>\n
She has decided to switch sides and take up with the more aggressive and obviously more manly chief of the black wig tribe.\u00a0 She finds a few black wigs wandering around and tells them to take her to their leader.\u00a0 But they are so excited by the tight pants that they start pawing at her.\u00a0 Just then Kirk, McCoy and Tyree show up.\u00a0 Thinking that Nona had led them into a trap they stab her to death and then proceed to get their clocks cleaned by Kirk and to a small extent Tyree.\u00a0 Now that Nona is dead Tyree sees the light of day and tells Kirk to get him a bunch of rifles.\u00a0 This fits in with Kirk\u2019s plan to supply the blond wig guys with exactly the same weapons as the Klingons provide to the black wig guys.\u00a0 He explains that his theory is based on the balance of power that existed between the East and West during the cold war and how that prevented total war.\u00a0 He tells a skeptical McCoy that he doesn\u2019t like the solution but that it is the only way to prevent catastrophic defeat by one side.\u00a0 Then it mercifully ends.<\/p>\n
What a mess.\u00a0 The wigs, the monster suit, Shatner\u2019s bad acting, the embarrassing scenes with the monster, the embarrassing scenes with Nona, the embarrassing scenes with Nurse Chapel, Dr. M’Benga\u2019s name.\u00a0 Really the only positive thing the episode has is Nona\u2019s outfit.\u00a0 But this is a Shatner mockery bonanza.\u00a0 I score this episode 4 \/\/ 10.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Let me just start by saying that this episode is so awful that you must see it.\u00a0 It\u2019s marvelously bad. When first join our heroes,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[237,4,244,2149,240],"tags":[2668,2150,38,1355,44,309,265,1691,293,154,1692,837],"class_list":["post-12194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","category-sff","category-sff-tv-reviews","category-star-trek","category-tv-reviews","tag-a-private-little-war","tag-gene-roddenberry","tag-review","tag-reviews","tag-sci-fi","tag-sci-fi-tv-review","tag-science-fiction","tag-sff-tv-show-reviews","tag-star-trek","tag-tv-review","tag-tv-reviews","tag-william-shatner"],"yoast_head":"\n