Last year we were privileged to witness the Antifa\/BLM riots.\u00a0 Every day on our screens we could watch as thugs with room temperature IQs assaulted hard working Americans then looted and burned down their businesses.\u00a0 And while watching it we were instructed by the cable news networks about how lucky we were that justice was finally catching up with our racist white selves.\u00a0 Good times.<\/p>\n
Well, now that it\u2019s warm enough to leave their parents\u2019 basements it\u2019s time to start the burning down the cities again.\u00a0 But as an entertainment critic I must say I hope they don\u2019t expect their audience to be satisfied with that same old riot, loot and burn schtick.\u00a0 Come on! That\u2019s so 2020.\u00a0 We want more.<\/p>\n
To get people\u2019s attention in this post-Trump era we\u2019re going to need our thugs to step up, lean in, throw down, whatever.\u00a0 My thought is a show trial of their own.\u00a0 Why not round up the Mayor and City Council of Minneapolis and the Governor of Minnesota along with some corporate executives from local companies like Target and United Health Group and try them for the crime of whiteness.\u00a0 I doubt that these individuals will even try to avoid their trial.\u00a0 And they will fall all over themselves to admit to their crimes.\u00a0 They\u2019ll publicly grovel and weep.\u00a0 They might even soil themselves as they self-flagellate over their guilt and infamy.\u00a0 If you insist, they\u2019ll even admit they personally ran slave ships from Africa.\u00a0 Sure, time machines, whatever.<\/p>\n
And after the verdict is handed down which of course would be guilty of whiteness in the first degree then start with the beheadings.\u00a0 I would begin with the Governor and the Mayor.\u00a0 They\u2019re both men so beheading them won\u2019t garner much sympathy.\u00a0 Then go for the CEOs of the corporations next and follow up with the City Council.\u00a0 Now I know there\u2019s a transgender woman on the City Council so that could be kind of ticklish, especially if she\u2019s a person of color but really, I don\u2019t think playing favorites is a good idea.\u00a0 After all whiteness is not just a skin color thing. \u00a0It\u2019s a state of mind and City Council is an institution that probably oppresses people in all kinds of ways so off with her head.\u00a0 As far as beheading protocol, I\u2019d go with the Al Qaeda standard.\u00a0 Basically, orange jump suit, hands bound behind back and hack job with dull rusty hunting knife.\u00a0 It\u2019s a classic that just plain works for the audience.<\/p>\n
Now after the beheadings and some end zone dancing with the severed heads I think things become a little less circumscribed.\u00a0 Stodgy decorum would suggest that the bodies, including the heads, should be returned to the families for religious ceremony and burial.\u00a0 Even Robespierre and his crew gave the bodies back to the families. \u00a0But I don\u2019t know, why not have some fun?\u00a0 Get a really big pot, throw the bodies into it and cook them with some vegetables.\u00a0 Maybe a gumbo or something.\u00a0 Since this is a BLM co-sponsored event, they could consult with Idi Amin\u2019s living relatives and get some of his favorite cannibal recipes.\u00a0 This will help make the connection to the 1619 Project.\u00a0 I\u2019m not implying that the white presenting allies from Antifa should be excluded from the feast.\u00a0 Of course, the vegans might not be interested but I\u2019m sure many others will partake to show their solidarity and also to signal their commitment to recycling.<\/p>\n
And once this first trial\/feast is completed it could be the template for a whole season of social justice feasts.\u00a0 The Minnesota event could be termed a smorgasbord because of the Scandinavian heritage of the Great Lakes region.\u00a0 But when the proceedings reach Boston, it could be billed as a clambake or potluck.\u00a0 Just imagine all the fun that could go into the regional preparations and presentation.\u00a0 Marvelous, marvelous.<\/p>\n
So, come on street thugs put you heads together and make this leadoff year of the Biden administration something special.\u00a0 Mine are only suggestions Dig deep and wow us with your ingenuity and audacity.\u00a0 Your audience expects it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Last year we were privileged to witness the Antifa\/BLM riots.\u00a0 Every day on our screens we could watch as thugs with room temperature IQs assaulted<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288],"tags":[328,2616,3005,168,230],"class_list":["post-14179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","tag-antifa","tag-blm","tag-cannibalism","tag-humor","tag-right-wing-humor"],"yoast_head":"\n