April showers bring May flowers but we had a forecast yesterday, that called for a couple of inches of snow.\u00a0 That seemed uncalled for to me.\u00a0 The tv weather reports have been handed over to the B-Team since the COVID meltdown so I\u2019m never sure anymore if it\u2019s just mopery-dopery or something more fiendish.<\/p>\n
These woke times have really shaken my faith in all the institutions.\u00a0 There was a time when you could depend on the tv weather girl to be young, highly attractive and almost disgustingly cheerful as she told you what to expect from the sky over the next 24 hours.\u00a0 Last week I was watching the evening news when a surly middle aged fat woman berated me about the climate.\u00a0 I was pretty shocked.\u00a0 I looked at Camera Girl and said, \u201cWhat the hell have they done to the weather girl?\u00a0 She\u2019s morbidly obese!\u201d\u00a0 She volunteered hopefully, \u201cMaybe she\u2019s pregnant?\u201d\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t watch.\u00a0 I turned off the tv and stalked off.<\/p>\n
Many things have indicated to me that our culture is doomed.\u00a0 But the collapse of the weather girl standard, I believe, is the surest sign of the coming apocalypse.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll know that we\u2019ve reached the final hour when at 7:30 one night the anchor will call out to the weather girl and a fat hairy bald man in a blonde wig and an ill-fitting sun dress will stand in front of the green screen and sashay through an interpretive dance for the forecast.\u00a0 On that day I\u2019ll pack my bags and start driving for Mexico.<\/p>\n
Our neighbor to the south may be the land of narcotraficantes, duffel bags full of human heads and Montezuma\u2019s revenge but I\u2019m guessing that they are years behind us in the weather girl appearance death spiral.\u00a0 And if I\u2019m wrong about that I\u2019ll keep heading south until I reach that Shangri-La where a pretty woman in a short tight dress walks me through the barometric and precipitation-based predictions.\u00a0 I don\u2019t much care if she\u2019s a blonde, brunette or red-head.\u00a0 I will keep going south until finally when I reach Tierra del Fuego if I still have to see a guy in a sun-dress I\u2019ll know it\u2019s all over and I\u2019ll swim out to sea heading for Antarctica.\u00a0 Maybe I\u2019m exaggerating.\u00a0 But you get the idea.<\/p>\n
Now in case you think I\u2019m a fanatic I want to assure you that I disagree with those countries that have taken the weather girl standard and gone overboard in the other direction.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s Russia or somewhere that has a channel that features naked weather girls.\u00a0 I strongly disagree with this concept.\u00a0 Oversexualizing the weather is wrong.\u00a0 When someone is telling you about the weather you need a certain amount of resistance to what is being said.\u00a0 Here in New England, I often find myself yelling at the weather forecasters male and female.\u00a0 They torture us with absurdly vague and dangerously misleading descriptions of the weather.\u00a0 How can you predict a range of zero to 34 inches of snow and expect not to get death threats?\u00a0 How can you predict torrential rain and then yammer on about the drought warning in the same breath?<\/p>\n
But imagine if a naked woman was telling this to you.\u00a0 You\u2019d be powerless to complain.\u00a0 You\u2019d have no choice but to take whatever advice she gave you.\u00a0 You would outfit your car for the morning commute with both an inflatable survival raft and a snow shovel.\u00a0 I need to be able to rail against the weather reader.\u00a0 I can\u2019t allow any kind of sexual quid pro quo to exist.\u00a0 I want them to wear clothes.\u00a0 I only insist that the clothes match the binary tag of their sex chromosomes.\u00a0 Do I ask too much?\u00a0 I think not!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
April showers bring May flowers but we had a forecast yesterday, that called for a couple of inches of snow.\u00a0 That seemed uncalled for to<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,712,818],"tags":[1342,2160,341,3006],"class_list":["post-14203","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-fake-science","category-ocf","tag-the-culture-war-is-forever","tag-transgender-rights","tag-weather","tag-weather-girls"],"yoast_head":"\n