{"id":1459,"date":"2017-09-08T22:56:00","date_gmt":"2017-09-09T02:56:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=1459"},"modified":"2017-09-08T23:02:09","modified_gmt":"2017-09-09T03:02:09","slug":"1459","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2017\/09\/08\/1459\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump vs The Time Hag \u2013 Episode 6 \u2013 Finale"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2017\/07\/29\/trump-vs-the-time-hag-episode-5-trump-martel\/\">Trump vs The Time Hag \u2013 Episode 5 \u2013 Trump Martel<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Scene 1- May 1787<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Philadelphia, PA<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>George Trumpington (GT) \u2013 Take that, Time Hag and that and that!\u00a0 I, George Trumpington will not allow you to exclude the Second Amendment from the Constitution.\u00a0 I hereby transfer you to the Salem Massachusetts jurisdiction where you can be summarily burned as the witch you are.<\/p>\n<p>Time Hag (TH) \u2013 But they haven\u2019t burned witches in a hundred years.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t the dark ages.\u00a0 It\u2019s 1787.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 For you they\u2019ll make an exception.\u00a0 Take her away.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Scene 2 \u2013 Present day 4:30 a.m. -White House \u2013 Presidential Bedroom<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>President Trump (PT) \u2013 (writhing agitatedly and mumbling angrily) \u2013 Take that, Time Hag and that and that!<\/p>\n<p>Melania Trump (MT) (shaking the president to wake him) \u2013 Schmoopy, wake up, wake up!\u00a0 You are having the night horse!<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Where am I?\u00a0 Where is Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson?\u00a0 And Dolly Madison?\u00a0 She was actually kind of hot.<\/p>\n<p>MT \u2013 You were having the bad dream and you kept the yelling something about the time.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Could it have been all a dream?\u00a0 Did I not travel back in time to Ancient Greece and Rome and saved the world from Hillary Clinton?<\/p>\n<p>MT \u2013 Schmoopy, if you say these things out loud I will have you impeached myself.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 But it was so real.\u00a0 And I was so great.<\/p>\n<p>MT \u2013 Yes, yes. Of course, you were, but there are bigger problems.\u00a0 The republicans in Congress are bad men and they want to make you look bad.\u00a0 They will only do nothing.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Nothing new there.<\/p>\n<p>MT \u2013 But the people are growing angry. Something must be done.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 You\u2019re right Schmoopy.\u00a0 I must end this nightmare once and for all.\u00a0 Now let\u2019s get back to sleep.\u00a0 Time travelling is exhausting.<\/p>\n<p>MT \u2013 Oh Heaven help us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Scene 3<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Broadcast TV \u2013 6 p.m. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Announcer (who sounds disturbingly like Don Pardo) \u2013 We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a message from the President of the United States.<\/p>\n<p>PT \u2013 Good evening my fellow Americans, sorry to disturb your reality TV binge watching but put down your bong and try to concentrate and understand.\u00a0 This is kind of life and death.\u00a0 The idiots in the congressional republican majority have joined the criminals in the democratic congressional minority in doing absolutely nothing to help me save this country.\u00a0 And the FBI, CIA and the other bureaucrats are conspiring with the Fake News Media to stall our efforts to do the people\u2019s work.\u00a0 Therefore, I have no choice but to appoint a special counsel to investigate the malfeasance of all these groups and use the law to break this logjam of losers.\u00a0 I am appointing Sheriff Joe as special counsel with authority to subpoena and request grand jury indictments for anyone who is proven to be working against the legally elected President of the United States (that\u2019s me).\u00a0 So thank you for trying to listen and understand through the haze of reefer madness you cultivate.\u00a0 So go back to watching your namesakes on the Walking Dead and I\u2019ll get back to doing something useful for you.\u00a0 Trump out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Trump vs The Time Hag \u2013 Episode 5 \u2013 Trump Martel &nbsp; Scene 1- May 1787 Philadelphia, PA George Trumpington (GT) \u2013 Take that, Time<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1459","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.4 - 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