As the days reach their maximum length and when the mercury passes 90\u00b0F in what my old engineering boss would jokingly refer to as \u201cwhite man\u2019s units,\u201d the dominant male, of the Italic strain at least, would shift his base of operations to the basement level.\u00a0 Here he would gain a two-fold advantage.\u00a0 The obvious one is a 15\u00b0F – 30\u00b0F reduction in ambient temperature as compared to the upper floors but equally as important is the freedom from female annoyance.\u00a0 The lower level is the male domain.\u00a0 It contains a pool table, a floor that needn\u2019t be kept swept clean of minute amounts of honest dirt and vast storage space crammed full of valuable possessions that do not pass muster from Camera Girl for inclusion in the various bric-a-brac that she favors for d\u00e9cor.\u00a0 Hundreds of old books, trophies of past campaigns, tools, and hobby, exercise and sports equipment of all sorts.\u00a0 A veritable treasure house.<\/p>\n
I learned this paradigm from Camera Girl\u2019s father, the Old Fisherman of the Sea himself.\u00a0 He would inhabit the basement in the summer almost exclusively and it was there that he was happiest.\u00a0 He had his wine making operation, which encouraged at various times of the year quite a healthy throng of fruit flies, his fishing lure manufacturing space, his tool workshop, his own bath and shower and his favorite old padded chair.\u00a0 He even had his own freezer and refrigerator to store the endless blue fish and striped bass that were the usual prizes from his frequent fishing trips.\u00a0 Here he would retreat from the cares of work and family and reign unchallenged by female frippery and the demands for ever higher standards of particle free existence.\u00a0 And in this environment, he lived to be ninety-five.\u00a0 And if he hadn\u2019t taken it upon himself to increase his gout medicine dosage to unheard of levels to compensate for his love of wine and beef, he probably would be alive today and well over a hundred years old.\u00a0 God rest his soul.<\/p>\n
Well, anyway in my version of the basement kingdom the lower level has direct access to the swimming pool and since the floor there is tiled there is no need to dry off after swimming.\u00a0 Drip dry in flip-flops is acceptable.\u00a0 If someone is exceedingly fastidious there is a bathroom and shower available here along with towels and changing area.\u00a0 Also, the spare refrigerator from which hidden food items can be stored and retrieved without any note.\u00a0 And the overstuffed recliner is available for periods of quiet reflection and deep thoughts.\u00a0 And finally, the lower porch is equipped with a propane grill to handle any meat related cooking that may become necessary.\u00a0 After all Camera Girl\u2019s kitchen can be monstrously hot at this time of year.\u00a0 It\u2019s only decent that I pitch in and save her the discomfort of summer cooking as much as I am able.<\/p>\n
There used to be a television on the wall but we removed it almost ten years ago.\u00a0 There is so little worth watching that it never got used.\u00a0 The only thing it lacks is a full kitchen sink and stove.\u00a0 I say this with shame.\u00a0 Because every good Italian American basement had a kitchen built in.\u00a0 It was a point of pride and a practical feature.\u00a0 This allowed the holidays with the extended family to be cooked and served in the basement which is always the largest room in the house.\u00a0 Well, someday I\u2019ll make the time and put the money aside to build this in.\u00a0 For now, it is my secret shame.<\/p>\n
Now the point of this essay is not to regale you with the lies about my basement.\u00a0 The point is that in the hot weather (and to a lesser extent during all the other seasons of the year) a man can find peace and enjoyment hidden away from his loved ones in the dark and gritty comforts of the basement.\u00a0 Here he can retreat from his wife and the demands of our hectic world.\u00a0 Leave your phone and your computer off.\u00a0 Get your hands dirty and drink a beer or whatever you like to drink and forget your troubles for an hour or even longer if they won\u2019t come digging you out.\u00a0 It is an amazing thing how they\u2019ll leave you alone down there.\u00a0 Possibly the castle that a man is king of is really only the dungeon.\u00a0 But I\u2019ll settle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
As the days reach their maximum length and when the mercury passes 90\u00b0F in what my old engineering boss would jokingly refer to as \u201cwhite<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,1263,2860],"tags":[3110,2800,3111,2093,2341,2024],"class_list":["post-14775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-stuff-that-personally-interests-me-miscellaneous","category-reclaiming-the-family","tag-husbands","tag-men","tag-patriarchy","tag-reclaiming-the-family","tag-traditional-family","tag-war-against-men"],"yoast_head":"\n