There seems to be a footrace on between finishing this third season of reviews and terminal Star Trek overdose.\u00a0 Seriously, we had better reach a decent episode soon.\u00a0 And this one is no exception.\u00a0 My dog could have written this thing.\u00a0 And I\u2019m not talking about the smart dog.<\/p>\n
The Enterprise is desperately summoned to planet blah blah blah.\u00a0 Kirk, Spock and McCoy find all the adults have suicided and the children are happily unconcerned by the carnage.\u00a0 After Spock detects alien life readings coming from a cave, he and Kirk enter it and Kirk becomes panicky like a whiny infant and runs out.\u00a0 Spock relates the history of the planet including a race of space marauders that was destroyed by its victims.<\/p>\n
McCoy spouts some psycho-babble about the kids being in some kind of denial shock over the death of their parents and warns Kirk not to ask them any questions.\u00a0 Back on the ship the children prove to be a pack of creepy pushy losers who quickly alienate everyone they meet.\u00a0 But when they\u2019re alone the children reveal their awful secret.\u00a0 They form a circle and chant some moronic doggerel about a \u201cfriendly angel.\u201d\u00a0 And an apparition appears that looks like a fat gay guy in a moo-moo.\u00a0 This is the Gorgan, one of the race of space marauders that was supposedly eliminated long ago.\u00a0 His life force is kept going by controlling the minds of other beings.\u00a0 This creature forced the adults on his planet to kill themselves and has seduced the children with promises of unrestricted Nintendo viewing and endless dessert to help him hijack the Enterprise and bring it to planet blah blah blah where they can kill millions of people and corrupt millions of gullible children with the same lies.\u00a0 Coincidentally some people have suggested that the actor playing the Gorgan looks like Alan Hale Jr., the Skipper from Gilligan\u2019s Island.\u00a0 But it\u2019s not.\u00a0 It\u2019s Melvin Belli, a criminal defense and personal injury lawyer who must have been forced to play this part under a contempt of court ruling.<\/p>\n
Anyway, the kids are able to make the crew see things that aren\u2019t there and think things that they normally wouldn\u2019t believe.\u00a0 With the result that Sulu won\u2019t allow anyone to change the ship\u2019s course when it\u2019s headed in the wrong direction and Chekov attempts to arrest Captain Kirk without cause.\u00a0 But the most egregious example is that Kirk becomes panicked at the idea that he has \u201clost command.\u201d\u00a0 Once again, he starts behaving like a three-year-old who has wet his pants.\u00a0 Finally, Spock has to call him \u201cJim\u201d and rally his flagging manhood by telling Kirk that he\u2019s in command.\u00a0 Now re-invigorated in his knowledge that his authority had not been neutered Kirk pinches a few yeoman butts and jumps into action.<\/p>\n
He uses a recording of the friendly angel chant to summon the Gorgan and then show the children video of their happy days with their parents and then photos of their parents dead to convince them that the Gorgan is a complete jerk.\u00a0 Once they stop believing in the Gorgan his apparition begins to decompose and his face melts like wax and he disappears.\u00a0 With everything back to normal Kirk orders Sulu to change course for Star Base blah blah blah.<\/p>\n
The End<\/p>\n
This show was trash from beginning to end.\u00a0 I disliked everyone.\u00a0 The weird kids, the Gorgan, the parents, the crew and especially Bill Shatner.\u00a0 His unmanly panic attack was degrading even for the viewers.\u00a0 He is an awful actor and deserves all the opprobrium I can think up.\u00a0 But by the same token this episode has the highest Shatner mockery value that can be.\u00a0 So, the show gets a zero and the Shatner index is a ten.\u00a0 That is phenomenal.<\/p>\n
0\u00a0 \/\/\u00a0 10<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There seems to be a footrace on between finishing this third season of reviews and terminal Star Trek overdose.\u00a0 Seriously, we had better reach a<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[237,4,244,2149,240],"tags":[3286,2150,38,1355,44,309,265,1691,293,154,1692,837],"class_list":["post-16105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","category-sff","category-sff-tv-reviews","category-star-trek","category-tv-reviews","tag-and-the-children-shall-lead","tag-gene-roddenberry","tag-review","tag-reviews","tag-sci-fi","tag-sci-fi-tv-review","tag-science-fiction","tag-sff-tv-show-reviews","tag-star-trek","tag-tv-review","tag-tv-reviews","tag-william-shatner"],"yoast_head":"\n