{"id":1627,"date":"2017-10-13T06:46:29","date_gmt":"2017-10-13T10:46:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=1627"},"modified":"2017-10-13T06:46:29","modified_gmt":"2017-10-13T10:46:29","slug":"bowling-night","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/13\/bowling-night\/","title":{"rendered":"Bowling Night"},"content":{"rendered":"

Scene 1 \u2013 7am Monday, White House West Wing, President Trump in the Oval Office on the phone with Steve Bannon<\/strong><\/p>\n

President Trump (PT) \u2013 Look Bannon, just because I fired you doesn\u2019t mean you can get away with ducking my calls.<\/p>\n

Steve Bannon (SB) (on the phone line) \u2013 Sorry Mr. President, but it\u2019s 4a.m. here in LA.\u00a0 And last night I was detained by pressing business.\u00a0 The whole Weinstein thing has got us working really late.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah, yeah whatever.\u00a0 Look I\u2019m supposed to get together with the President of Poland and he\u2019s under the mistaken impression that I\u2019m a pro caliber bowler.<\/p>\n

SB \u2013 Is that because you told him you are?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 That\u2019s beside the point.\u00a0 What I need is someone to check my form and make sure I\u2019m not hooking it.<\/p>\n

SB \u2013 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen you bowl.\u00a0 There are navy jets with less hook than you.\u00a0 Wouldn\u2019t it be easier to just say you threw out your back?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 You\u2019re not helping Bannon.<\/p>\n

SB \u2013 Well look, I\u2019ve got a friend who used to be a pro bowler.\u00a0 He\u2019s the perfect guy to give you some pointers.\u00a0 I\u2019ll send the security guys his info and they can have him in the White House tonight.\u00a0 I\u2019ll let him know he has his work cut out for him.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Boy I wish I hadn\u2019t fired you.\u00a0 Then I could fire you now.\u00a0 Goodbye!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scene 2 \u2013 Early that night, White House Bowling Alley<\/strong><\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Hey you certainly got here early.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t expecting you till ten.<\/p>\n

Bowling Pro (BP) \u2013 I always bowl at this time.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Okay, sure, whatever.\u00a0 You want to bowl a practice game just to warm up?<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Sure pal, why not?\u00a0 My partner didn\u2019t show and it\u2019s Friday so there\u2019s no rush.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Friday?\u00a0 It\u2019s Monday.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 It ain\u2019t Monday.\u00a0 Otherwise I\u2019d be getting up for work tomorrow and wouldn\u2019t be here.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Bannon sure knows how to pick \u2018em.\u00a0 Okay, sure it\u2019s Friday.\u00a0 Let\u2019s bowl.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Whatever you say.\u00a0 (mumbling) another nut!<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 What?<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Nothing, nothing.\u00a0 Let\u2019s bowl.<\/p>\n

(President Trump takes his first throw.\u00a0 The ball hooks left only knocking down one pin).<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 You hooked it.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 I know I hooked.\u00a0 What do I do about it?<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 You\u2019re swinging your arm out during the advance.\u00a0 Slow it down and concentrate on the pocket.\u00a0 The ball will follow your eye.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Okay, let me try that again.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Perfect you got the spare.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yes I am actually an amazing bowler.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Oh, now you\u2019re an amazing bowler.\u00a0 Listen pal, my neighbor\u2019s kid Tommy Manicotti is in the fourth grade and currently has the measles but he could beat you bowling left handed.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Oh, yeah?\u00a0 Well I could have Tommy Manicotti investigated by the FBI.\u00a0 Then he wouldn\u2019t be so tough.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 You, are a mental case.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah, well I\u2019ve got my form back, so you can just take a hike.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Oh, yeah?\u00a0 I\u2019ll bet you ten bucks the next one ends up in the right gutter.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 How about ten thousand?<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Sure pal, make it ten thousand.\u00a0 I\u2019ll call up my Uncle Rockefeller for a loan. (mumbles) What a mook.<\/p>\n

(President Trump throws the ball and gutters to the right)<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 What the hell happened?\u00a0 I always hook to the left.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 You lost your concentration with all the yelling and overcompensated.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 You really know what you\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 How did you figure that out?<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Well, to be honest, I kinda have the same problem.\u00a0 I usually bowl with this neighbor of mine.\u00a0 He\u2019s the nicest guy in the world, would give you the shirt off his back, but he\u2019s also the most annoying man on the face of the planet.\u00a0 I sometimes have to count to ten after talking to him just to get my concentration back.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah, I know a guy like that too.\u00a0 Vice President Pence.\u00a0 Great guy but always annoying me about what people might think about my speeches.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Yeah, I know what you mean.\u00a0 The President at the Racoons Lodge is always going on about some charity thing we have to sponsor.\u00a0 Very annoying.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah these guys never give you a break.\u00a0 Sounds like we have similar problems.\u00a0 Does it ever get you down?<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Sure pal, every New Yorker deals with the rat race every day but when he goes home at night he\u2019s king of his castle.\u00a0 If he\u2019s got a good wife and a few good friends it doesn\u2019t matter if his job is tough and there\u2019s not enough money for that new bowling ball.\u00a0 He\u2019s still the richest man in the world because he\u2019s free and as good as the next guy.\u00a0 And he\u2019s living in the greatest country on the face of the earth.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 You\u2019re a New Yorker?<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 And so are you.\u00a0 Do we sound like we\u2019re from Boston?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 That\u2019s true.\u00a0 It\u2019s just being here I assumed you were local.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Well my mother\u2019s people were originally from Passaic but they moved to the Bronx way back.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Hmm.\u00a0 What you said made a lot of sense.\u00a0 Mind if I use it in a speech I\u2019m gonna make?<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Knock yourself out.\u00a0 My lodge brothers usually wander off to the sandwich table when I start gassing about that stuff.\u00a0 They\u2019re more interested in who\u2019s pitching for the Dodgers and Giants when they play a cross-town.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 You live in California now?<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Huh?\u00a0 No!\u00a0 (mumbles)\u00a0 This guy\u2019s got a screw loose.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Oh, never mind.\u00a0 Well look.\u00a0 Thanks for the pointers.\u00a0 And thanks for the speech line.\u00a0 Maybe we could get together again sometime and talk politics.<\/p>\n

BP \u2013 Sure I\u2019m here every Friday night, unless Alice wants to go to the Hong Kong Gardens.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 What?\u00a0 Okay sure. Bye.<\/p>\n

Scene 3 -A little later that night, West Wing<\/strong><\/p>\n

(President Trump on the phone with Security)<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 What is it Al?<\/p>\n

Secret Service Agent (SSA) (on phone) \u2013 Mr. President, that bowling pro friend of Mr. Bannon\u2019s just called to apologize.\u00a0 He\u2019s stuck in traffic outside Washington and won\u2019t make it tonight.\u00a0 \u00a0\u2026\u2026.\u00a0 Mr. President are you still there?\u00a0 Did you hear what I said?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Uh, yeah sure.\u00a0 Thanks. (hangs phone up)\u00a0 Hmm.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scene 1 \u2013 7am Monday, White House West Wing, President Trump in the Oval Office on the phone with Steve Bannon President Trump (PT) \u2013<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[389,447,16],"class_list":["post-1627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-honeymooners","tag-ralph-kramden","tag-trump"],"yoast_head":"\nBowling Night - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/13\/bowling-night\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bowling Night - 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