Joe Biden\u2019s colon was successfully scoped today.\u00a0 Due to some fears about military doctors getting back at the Commander in Chief for the Afghan debacle the procedure was shifted away from Walter Reed Medical Center and to the local Duane Reade Pharmacy where Mr. Biden shops for his adult diaper supplies.<\/p>\n
This colonoscopy wasn\u2019t a regularly scheduled procedure but was strenuously requested by the State Department at the behest of the Vatican and British Monarchy.\u00a0 Both organizations had lodged protests against the US Government claiming treaty breaches on the biological warfare front.\u00a0 The voice message form the Papacy said, \u201cEeffa you letta that sumavabeetch back here again you betta make a sure he\u2019s a not a gotta the blacka death a hidin\u2019 a up there.\u00a0 Get a camera up a there you dopey bastardos.<\/p>\n
Although the medical privacy acts protect release of the details of the procedure certain information was gleaned by interviewing some of the ancillary members of the surgical team.\u00a0 Team member Lloyd Bender who performs clean up in aisle four revealed that the scope discovered a large bolus of mummified gorgonzola cheese lodged in the presidential colon.\u00a0 Dislodging it proved difficult.\u00a0 Lloyd attested, \u201cWe tried pulling it out but it was the size of a bowling ball so you can guess that was a problem.\u00a0 By a stroke of luck, we had the Roto-Rooter guy in house working on a sewage line that was blocked.\u00a0 So, we asked him if he would do something for us if we kicked in another forty bucks and he was very obliging.\u00a0 So, he got the thing done.\u00a0 But he did say he\u2019d have to get a new rig because the gorgonzola did a job on his setup.\u00a0 And not for nothing but we had to close shop because the stench was awful.\u00a0 But it\u2019s done.\u00a0 And I never want to get involved in anything like that again.\u201d<\/p>\n
Mr. Biden seemed subdued after his ordeal and he was walking kind of funny but his press secretary Jen Psaki said that all rumors about foreign cheeses and commercial sewage line clearance equipment were greatly exaggerated.\u00a0 Later on today Mr. Biden felt himself sufficiently back to normal to make this short statement to the press, \u201cMy butt\u2019s been wiped and is squeaky clean.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Joe Biden\u2019s colon was successfully scoped today.\u00a0 Due to some fears about military doctors getting back at the Commander in Chief for the Afghan debacle<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2945,5,288],"tags":[3193,2856,168],"class_list":["post-16698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-biden-humor","category-current-events","category-humor","tag-biden-humor","tag-dementia-joe","tag-humor"],"yoast_head":"\n