Last night I attended the monthly meeting of the Dunwich Republican Committee or as we call it \u201cThe Pentaveret.\u201d\u00a0 The meeting was sparsely attended as many are recovering from a winter bout of Dunwich demonic possession.\u00a0 First Selectman Cthulhu was under the weather after having eaten some bad \u201cseafood,\u201d which is what he calls people living on the coastline.\u00a0 So he wasn\u2019t in attendance, which was kind of a relief.\u00a0 He is a big personality and what with stepping on people and drooling all over the place and dribbling bits of man-flesh when he speaks it is a distraction.<\/p>\n
The agenda included a report from the Treasurer that showed a net liability of about ten thousand dollars in the account. \u00a0The explanation for this was the cost of repairs to the \u201cold Bishop place\u201d after an interdimensional portal opened up in the kitchen and swallowed up the newly renovated appliances.\u00a0 And the cook.\u00a0 Apparently the First Selectman\u2019s cousin Dagon got the address mixed up in his GPS and instead of arriving at the all you can eat buffet at the Dunwich Red Lobster, he materialized in the Bishop place and ate the cook and the contents of the refrigerator.\u00a0 Luckily the cook was a Democrat and an illegal alien to boot, so after a little hand waving by the First Selectman with the State Police and a fifty-dollar \u201cgratuity,\u201d things were smoothed over.\u00a0 It really helps to have a way with the common people.<\/p>\n
During the Q&A I stood up and asked whether the COVID restrictions mandated by the state legislature and other unpopular decisions by the Democrats would provide a chance for the Republicans to make gains in the legislature this year.\u00a0 Our State Representative happened to be at the meeting.\u00a0 He was there to beg us to set up a fundraiser and meet and greet with his constituents.\u00a0 He fielded this question saying that earlier in February most politicians had agreed that the Republicans would make significant gains this year.\u00a0 There was even talk of the Governor\u2019s mansion being in reach.<\/p>\n
But last week Yog Sothoth was quoted in the larger circulation papers in Arkham stating that if the Republicans retook the legislature and the Governor\u2019s mansion that he would be appointed attorney general and he intended to dispense with all criminal justice functions and immediately round up the democratic voters and have a luau.\u00a0 He figured the Great Old Ones, once assembled for the feast could eat their way through the Evil Party in about forty-eight hours.<\/p>\n
For whatever reason this seemed to spook the voting populace.\u00a0 The consensus opinion was described as, \u201cYes the Democrats are inhumanly cruel and a terrible governing elite, but they\u2019ve never clearly stated that they intend to eat their opponents alive.\u201d\u00a0 When Yog heard about this reaction, he complained that he had been taken out of context.\u00a0 The Committee agreed that it was most regrettable that Yog had couched his answer quite so specifically.\u00a0 Leaving a little wiggle room when talking about eating people alive is probably a good idea when dealing with those unfamiliar with the Cthulhu clan.\u00a0 Well Yog is known for his honesty and candid speaking style.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he can win over the crowd in time.<\/p>\n
The final order of business was the Green Energy Initiative.\u00a0 The town had been provided with $600,000 by the state and federal governments to reduce greenhouse gas emissions in Dunwich.\u00a0 The Republican Committee had been approached by the First Selectman to create a team to draft a proposal for the town.\u00a0 He told us to make sure we stayed within the budget but he encouraged \u201ccreative solutions.\u201d\u00a0 As an example, he mentioned that his cousin Azathoth owed him a favor and for almost no cost he could rearrange the very fabric of space-time so that only elements below carbon in the periodic table could still exist in our space-time continuum.\u00a0 When the Republican Chair mentioned that all life as we know it not to mention all solid planets would cease to exist the First Selectman was heard to say, \u201cThat kind of nit-picking isn\u2019t going to get you anywhere in this town.\u201d\u00a0 So, we\u2019re still fielding ideas.\u00a0 The committee is thinking maybe some solar panels on the abandoned church.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Last night I attended the monthly meeting of the Dunwich Republican Committee or as we call it \u201cThe Pentaveret.\u201d\u00a0 The meeting was sparsely attended as<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3366,1263,4],"tags":[3341,3367,354,70,1267,59],"class_list":["post-17840","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-in-dunwich","category-stuff-that-personally-interests-me-miscellaneous","category-sff","tag-dunwich","tag-dunwich-complainer","tag-horror","tag-lovecraft","tag-photogs-corner","tag-urban-fantasy"],"yoast_head":"\n