I have often commented to Camera Girl that since people nowadays live enormously longer on average than people in the pre-modern era that the institution of marriage with its whole “’til death do us part” clause is behind the times and needs to be updated with more nuanced language.\u00a0 However, I never say this when she’s holding a sharp knife.\u00a0 She\u2019s excitable.<\/p>\n
But it’s fair to say that a fifty-year reevaluation event seems warranted.\u00a0\u00a0We\u2019ve got another five years before that milestone but I felt it was a good idea to start some preliminary exercises to determine if an emergency early intervention would be needed.<\/p>\n
Today I went on an inspection to see how she was doing.\u00a0 This morning when I came down for breakfast, I carefully examined the meal for signs of insufficiency or insincerity.\u00a0 The scrambled eggs and pumpernickel bagel seemed up to snuff.\u00a0 Check.\u00a0 The breakfast conversation was satisfactory.\u00a0 Check.\u00a0 But the after-breakfast banter seemed to die away.\u00a0 I was sitting in the living room working diligently on very important web site related work.\u00a0 But there was none of the expected wifely encouraging, congratulatory pep talk that somehow, I think should have been there.\u00a0 Maybe just a random \u201cLet\u2019s go photog!\u201d thrown in every few minutes.\u00a0 That seems reasonable.\u00a0 Within a half hour my rage built up to the point where I actually got up and went into the kitchen to investigate this outrage.<\/p>\n
Well, she probably heard me coming because she managed to throw up a smoke screen of cooking food.\u00a0 As evidence she had a red sauce with meatballs on the stove and a pan of sausages in the oven and an Italian cheese cake under construction on the counter.\u00a0 Well, okay.\u00a0 Check, check, check.\u00a0 She seemed to be busy.\u00a0 Seemed!<\/p>\n
I went back to the living room thinking furiously on what I had seen.\u00a0 Well, the kids and grandkids were coming tomorrow for dinner.\u00a0 I guess maybe cooking was a prerequisite for the meal.\u00a0 Maybe it would be a little unreasonable for her to do all the cooking after I went to bed so as not to interfere with the very important wifely responsibilities of cheering on the king in his daily battles.\u00a0 Could it be possible she was in the right?\u00a0 Was it possible I was being selfish?\u00a0 Me?\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m the Bad Guy?\u00a0 How did that happen?\u201d<\/p>\n
Faced with this confusing thought, I retreated to first principles.\u00a0 What would Ralph Kramden do?\u00a0 Ah, that\u2019s better.\u00a0 Obviously, this pretend-hard-working act was a plot to undermine my sense of self-righteousness.\u00a0 As such it qualified as disloyalty, the ultimate wifely sin.\u00a0 Hah!\u00a0 I knew it.\u00a0 I\u2019m the good guy.\u00a0 I win again!<\/p>\n
Well, once that had been worked out to my full satisfaction, I felt better and could afford to be magnanimous.\u00a0 I went into the kitchen and patted her on the arm and praised her for the wonderful work she was doing.\u00a0 This seemed to confuse her a little but she kept working and almost seemed to ignore my presence.\u00a0 Well, sure.\u00a0 Not everyone has my ability to multi-task.\u00a0 I smiled tolerantly and made a silent benediction over her efforts.\u00a0 A wise man once wrote that, \u201cuneasy is the head that wears a crown.\u201d\u00a0 And so true it is.\u00a0 I\u2019m constantly employed providing guidance and useful advice on any number of things around here.\u00a0 My inexhaustible supply of knowledge is always improving her efforts.\u00a0 Noblesse oblige as the say.<\/p>\n
I guess the outcome is I\u2019ll let things lay for the next five years.\u00a0 Sure, she tries to undermine my authority but she\u2019s a hard-working member of the team and I like to reward effort.\u00a0 Plus she\u2019s related to my children and family is family.\u00a0 Well done Camera Girl, well done.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have often commented to Camera Girl that since people nowadays live enormously longer on average than people in the pre-modern era that the institution<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[288],"tags":[300,168,993],"class_list":["post-18034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-camera-girl","tag-humor","tag-the-war-between-men-and-women"],"yoast_head":"\n