Washington D.C. \u2013 American President Joseph Biden gave a hard hitting if somewhat confusing speech today in front of the Trade Union Delegation from Inner Outer Stanstanistan.\u00a0 To the somewhat bemused pastoral herdsmen in their colorful native garb the animated but sometimes incoherent stateman was highly entertaining.\u00a0 Of course, since the translator was speaking in Outer Inner Stanstanistanian they couldn\u2019t understand anything he said.\u00a0 But their spokesman was quoted as saying \u201cwe could tell he really meant whatever it was he was saying.\u201d<\/p>\n
After blaming every domestic and foreign policy debacle in his administration on the Russian strongman, Biden finished up the speech with an appeal for lower priced insulin that ended with him repeatedly striking the podium with his shoe.\u00a0 This got a standing ovation from the herdsmen who remembered old video clips of Khrushchev at the UN that they had watched during lunch break in grammar school.\u00a0 The emotional yak herders left the meeting chanting, \u201cWe will bury you, we will bury you\u201d in fairly good Russian.<\/p>\n
MSNBC reported that the speech is widely believed to be the talking points for the Democrat mid-term elections campaign platform.\u00a0 Rachel Maddow explained, \u201cWe will blame everything on Putin.\u00a0 Inflation, Putin.\u00a0 Crime, Putin.\u00a0 Biden\u2019s flatulence, Putin.\u00a0 There is even talk of finding footage of Putin standing on George Floyd\u2019s neck whenever Chauvin needed to be spelled.\u00a0 We drew the line at implicating him in the Kennedy assassination because Putin was eleven at the time and known to be a fairly poor shot with a rifle.\u201d<\/p>\n
Caught flat-footed by this new scheme Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell was quoted as saying, \u201cHuh?\u201d<\/p>\n
After the speech a news team was sent out to a local gas station to do a man on the street interview with a consumer filling his gas tank.\u00a0 After watching a clip from the speech, the motorist reached into his car and proceeded to brain the reporter with a baseball bat.\u00a0 Police were called to the scene and after watching the video, they emptied the clips of their sidearms into the now motionless reporter and left.\u00a0 The rest of the news crew beat a tactical retreat back to MSNBC where they suggested that the DNC might want to do a little more focus group workshopping of the idea.\u00a0 But they stressed that heavy blunt objects and pointed and sharp-edged utensils be removed from the premises beforehand.<\/p>\n
Later that night a medical emergency was declared at the White House.\u00a0 During dinner when asked by Doctor Jill what he had done that day President Biden began to repeat the word Putin over and over in a continuous string; putinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputiputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputinputin!!!!!<\/p>\n
When the doctors arrived, the president was diagnosed with a rare form of political Tourette\u2019s syndrome.\u00a0 It is now believed that for the rest of his life he will only be able to utter combinations of the two syllables pu and tin.\u00a0 When questioned about this development White House Spokesperson Jen Psaki declared that this situation was Putin\u2019s fault but that it would pose no real problem to President Biden continuing his present activities.\u00a0 In fact, Psaki hinted that the new situation might actually make her job easier.<\/p>\n
However, after hearing that the condition was permanent First Lady Doctor Jill packed her bag and left the White House with her secret service detail in tow.\u00a0 She was quoted as saying, \u201cThat\u2019s enough.\u00a0 I\u2019m out.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Washington D.C. \u2013 American President Joseph Biden gave a hard hitting if somewhat confusing speech today in front of the Trade Union Delegation from Inner<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2945,5,288],"tags":[3193,390,2856,168,1262],"class_list":["post-18094","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-biden-humor","category-current-events","category-humor","tag-biden-humor","tag-conservative-humor","tag-dementia-joe","tag-humor","tag-vladimir-putin"],"yoast_head":"\n