Many years ago, when Camera Girl was just a simple housewife.\u00a0 This was before she became a jet-setting companion to a high-powered photographic dynamo; me.\u00a0 One day while I was at work, I got a call from home.\u00a0 She informed me that the fire department had to be called because our electric stove had malfunctioned and burst into flames.\u00a0 The highly professional volunteer firemen had heroically dragged the stove out of the house and it was lying on the driveway like some stricken beast brought low by forces beyond the control of nature.\u00a0 And she further informed me that the meat loaf was still in it and unless I wanted to try carbonized beef we would need to eat out.\u00a0 Now, I know for a fact that she\u2019s always disliked electric stoves and ovens.\u00a0 She claims that only gas stoves provide the kind of temperature control she needs to cook food correctly. \u00a0I\u2019m not saying she sabotaged that stove but it is true she was glad to get a new one.\u00a0 Even if it was also an electric model.<\/p>\n
Well yesterday lightning struck again.\u00a0 At about 4 pm I heard a loud crackle of electricity like something out of the Frankenstein laboratory scene coming from the kitchen followed by Camera girl screaming something incoherently.\u00a0 I ran into the kitchen to find smoke pouring from the oven.\u00a0 I shut the power to the oven and turned on the vent fan above the stove.\u00a0 Then I took the smoke alarm off the wall and put it where it wouldn\u2019t go off.<\/p>\n
Sure, enough for the third time in her career as chief cook and bottlewasher in \u201cChez photog\u201d the heating element in one of her ovens failed.\u00a0 This time I was there so the fire department wasn\u2019t needed.\u00a0 I could see the element was cracked and the sound I\u2019d heard was power arcing over the gap.\u00a0 After gently coaxing Camera Girl off the ceiling fan, I comforted her in her terror and convinced her that all would be well once we got our local appliance store to send a serviceman to install a new element.<\/p>\n
But when I called them, it wasn\u2019t as simple as that.\u00a0 After providing them with the stove\u2019s model number they informed me that they would have to order this critical part.\u00a0 And when I asked them when they would be able to send someone to install it the pleasant young fellow on the line said, \u201cIn three or four weeks.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I dared not tell Camera Girl that her stove would be out of service for a month so I asked the guy how difficult would it be for me to install it myself.\u00a0 He thought it would be quite simple and foolproof.\u00a0 So tomorrow morning I\u2019ll go and pay fifty bucks for this replacement part and spend some part of the day installing it.<\/p>\n
Obviously, this is a double-edged sword.\u00a0 On the up side, I get to save a hundred fifty bucks in service call charges and appear to be a competent and self-sufficient alpha male.\u00a0 On the down side if I louse up the installation Camera Girl will mock me mercilessly.<\/p>\n
Well, there\u2019s nothing to be done about it.\u00a0 I must rise to the challenge.\u00a0 I was thinking of watching some episodes of the Honeymooners tonight to see if I can get any pointers from Ralph Kramden\u2019s technique handling Alice\u2019s bouts of sarcasm.\u00a0 What\u2019s the worst that could happen?\u00a0 Where did I put that fire extinguisher?<\/p>\n