{"id":2035,"date":"2018-01-06T11:47:50","date_gmt":"2018-01-06T16:47:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=2035"},"modified":"2018-01-06T11:48:28","modified_gmt":"2018-01-06T16:48:28","slug":"trump-vs-independence-day-redux-part-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/01\/06\/trump-vs-independence-day-redux-part-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump vs Independence Day Redux \u2013 Part 4"},"content":{"rendered":"

Trump vs Independence Day Redux \u2013 Part 3<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scene 1 \u2013 Bridge of the USS Ronald Reagan off the shore from Washington D.C., Thursday 1155 hours.\u00a0 Present on the bridge are crew of the USSRR and President Trump (PT), General Adam Baldwin (GAD), Secretary Mattis (SM), Melania Trump (MT), Peter Thiel (PTh)<\/strong><\/p>\n

PT- General Baldwin, are we ready to implement the Musk protocol?<\/p>\n

GAD \u2013 On your command, sir.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Go!<\/p>\n

(General Baldwin flips three switches on a panel on his desk console)<\/p>\n

GAD \u2013 Cruise missile with explosive warhead will impact in twenty seconds.\u00a0 Cruise missile with tantalum slug will impact 3 seconds after.\u00a0 One megaton thermonuclear device is awaiting your command.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Go!<\/p>\n

(Baldwin flips a fourth switch)<\/p>\n

GAD \u2013 Nuke will detonate in two minutes.\u00a0 Flash guards are in place.\u00a0 Prepare for turbulence.<\/p>\n

(two minutes later the aircraft carrier is buffeted by a shock wave that knocks several of those standing to the floor)<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 General, what is the status of the target?<\/p>\n

(several service personnel cluster in front of an instrument panel attempting to restore the main console to life.\u00a0 Slowly an image appears as the mushroom cloud clears away.\u00a0 the ship remains in place)<\/p>\n

GAD \u2013 Negative result.\u00a0 The target remains.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Mattis, where is Musk?<\/p>\n

SM \u2013 As you anticipated, he escaped on his private aircraft shortly after your \u2026 erm \u2026 morale boosting speech.\u00a0 His aircraft was admitted to the alien space ship a little while before the launch of your attack.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 What is the status of the space ship?<\/p>\n

GAD \u2013 Radar shows the ship is in motion on a heading that will put it above us in five minutes.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Put in a call to the \u201cnegotiations team\u201d<\/p>\n

(on the main console can be seen Obama, Gore and Musk seated and surrounded by several of the aliens.\u00a0 the humans are all obviously pleased and quite relaxed)<\/p>\n

BO \u2013 Well Donald, who could have imagined your presidency ending like this?\u00a0 Elon said it was easy convincing you that tantalum was the answer.\u00a0 Sorry it didn\u2019t work out.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 So what does the future hold for you three?\u00a0 Surely your new masters will dispose of you once they finish off the rest of our military.<\/p>\n

EM \u2013 Far from it.\u00a0 We have convinced them that we can provide information that will allow them to effectively harness a valuable natural resource, namely a large intelligent slave labor force.\u00a0 Also, as it turns out, they like to eat meat.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 How delightful.\u00a0 Thiel do your stuff.<\/p>\n

Peter Thiel moves over to the main console and the screen splits between the image of the conspirators and a telephoto view of the approaching space craft.\u00a0 Thiel presses several buttons and throws a switch.\u00a0 The audio from inside the ship registers a high pitched squeal and the video from that half of the screen goes black.\u00a0 At the same time on the other half of the screen the ship ceases forward motion and falls out of the sky like a stone.<\/p>\n

PTh \u2013 Mr. President, the device has successfully disrupted their drive.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 General what is the current situation of the space ship?<\/p>\n

GAD \u2013 Mr. President, the ship is falling at terminal velocity and will strike the Atlantic Ocean surface in a little over two minutes.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Thiel, what do your bright boys think will happen when it hits.\u00a0 Will the occupants survive?<\/p>\n

PTh \u2013 Doubtful sir.\u00a0 Without anti-gravity they will experience an instantaneous \u00a0stop from about 100 miles per hour.\u00a0 And since the ship is not built to support its own weight against gravity it will fracture and sink to the bottom immediately.\u00a0 Also the contact between the warp drive and sea water will be explosive.\u00a0 Basically a total loss.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Too bad.\u00a0 I guess we\u2019ll have to try to save one of the other ships when we take them down.<\/p>\n

SM \u2013 But Mr. President, we can\u2019t hope to gain admittance to a ship a second time.\u00a0 They\u2019ll immediately begin to destroy our cities.\u00a0 And after the failure of the tantalum to disrupt their shield we are helpless to stop them.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah, about that.\u00a0 Thiel, do the exposition.<\/p>\n

PTh \u2013 Certainly Mr. President.\u00a0 Elon was the only traitor on his team.\u00a0 Tantalum does perform as he said it would.\u00a0 But Mr Musk substituted another material for tantalum in the slugs he provided us.\u00a0 Luckily the only other slugs he had were depleted uranium and the low-level radiation was detected and tipped us off to the deception.\u00a0 When we figured out what was intended we switched Elon\u2019s cell phone with one that would spray molten tantalum all around the control room of the alien spacecraft once triggered.<\/p>\n

SM \u2013 So we can proceed to attack the other space ships with the tantalum sandwich approach.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yes.\u00a0 Hey I like that phrase, tantalum sandwich.\u00a0 Let\u2019s say I thought it up.<\/p>\n

SM \u2013 Sure \u2026, \u2026 \u00a0sir.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Good.\u00a0 So, here\u2019s the plan.\u00a0 Get a team together at the Area 51 producing the tantalum tipped cruise missile payloads.\u00a0 Work out a schedule for taking down the local ships but prioritize taking down the mother ship.\u00a0 Get it to crash on the moon.\u00a0 That\u2019s our best hope of providing intact equipment to reverse engineer.\u00a0 Thiel will tag along with the research team that Musk had and it will be his job to shepherd all this technology so it stays in American hands only.<\/p>\n

GAD \u2013 But why weren\u2019t they aware of how dangerous tantalum is to their systems and why didn\u2019t they have counter measures?<\/p>\n

PTh \u2013 The only thing we\u2019ve thought of so far is that the star system these aliens came from did not have all the elements we have here on earth.\u00a0 Tantalum is a fairly heavy element.\u00a0 These elements are produced in fairly rare stellar events and they are not equally distributed around the cosmos.\u00a0 I guess you could say it\u2019s just blind luck.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Alright, Carl Sagan, that\u2019s enough.\u00a0 Now get to work.<\/p>\n

PTh \u2013 Yes Mr. President.\u00a0 (under his breath) (what a jerk).<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 Oh Schmoopy, you are the action hero.\u00a0 Like Bruce Willis.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 But with better hair!<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 Ahhh \u2026 \u2026, sure.\u00a0 But Schmoopy, how will we fix all the things the bad aliens have broken?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Don\u2019t worry Schmoopy, with the technology we\u2019ll get from the aliens and my leadership we can make this a better and happier world.\u00a0 As long as the democrats don\u2019t screw it up again.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 So true Schmoopy, so true.\u00a0 You are the wise man.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 And you are a wise woman for knowing it, Schmoopy.<\/p>\n

PTh \u2013 Now I remember why I\u2019m gay.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Shaddap Thiel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Trump vs Independence Day Redux \u2013 Part 3   Scene 1 \u2013 Bridge of the USS Ronald Reagan off the shore from Washington D.C., Thursday<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,4,6],"tags":[9,167,104,44,265,629,16,391,373],"class_list":["post-2035","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-sff","category-trump","tag-adam-baldwin","tag-independence-day","tag-peter-thiel","tag-sci-fi","tag-science-fiction","tag-tantalum","tag-trump","tag-trump-humor","tag-trump-vs"],"yoast_head":"\nTrump vs Independence Day Redux \u2013 Part 4 - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/01\/06\/trump-vs-independence-day-redux-part-4\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Trump vs Independence Day Redux \u2013 Part 4 - 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