Scene1: White House West Wing, 8am, President Trump (PT) calling for Vice President Pence (VPP)<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Mike.\u00a0 Mike.\u00a0 Mike!!!\u00a0 Where the hell are you Pence.<\/p>\n
VPP – \u00a0Right here Mr. President.\u00a0 I was on the phone with Ryan and McConnell.\u00a0 They wanted a copy of your speech to help coordinate the standing ovations.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Tell\u2019em to forget about that bull.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want them cheering.\u00a0 Tell them to keep their seats and keep quiet.<\/p>\n
VPP \u2013 Oh no.\u00a0 What are you planning Mr. President?<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 I plan on using the speech to wake some people up and put some rats on notice.<\/p>\n
VPP \u2013 Sir, the State of the Union speech is intended to report to the people on where we are as a nation.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Well Mike, despite the fact that the economy is starting to come to life do you really think there is any reason for standing ovations?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to tell them the truth.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to talk about the FBI and the Justice Department and how they\u2019re being run like the KGB with crooked operations targeting Americans because of who they are and not what they\u2019ve done.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna talk about Lisa Page and Peter Strzok.\u00a0 America will love what the FBI is up to on their dime.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna talk about McCabe and Mueller and Comey and the \u201cSecret Society\u201d they cooked up against me.\u00a0 I\u2019m gonna make their hair curl.<\/p>\n
VPP \u2013 Oh good grief.\u00a0 Mr. President, I\u2019m asking you to reconsider.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to scare the American people.\u00a0 We have the midterms coming up and we can\u2019t have the electorate thinking of us as the crazy party.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Look Pence, you\u2019re gonna have to man up or I\u2019ll have to say you have the flu and couldn\u2019t come.\u00a0 Besides this is gonna be great.\u00a0 The people are gonna get this 100%.\u00a0 You\u2019ve gotta remember they\u2019re used to seeing bureaucrats shake down citizens.\u00a0 They\u2019ll rally to me when I give them the details of the plot.<\/p>\n
VPP \u2013 Sorry Mr. President.\u00a0 I\u2019ll do my best to keep on my game face.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 That\u2019s the stuff.\u00a0 Besides once Cryin\u2019 Chuck begins weeping you won\u2019t be able to stop laughing.\u00a0 It\u2019s that funny.\u00a0 Anyway, get Sessions down here.\u00a0 I was thinking that it might be fun to have the Secret Society rounded up and perp walked right during the middle of the State of the Union address.\u00a0 I want to see if he can arrange that on queue from me at the podium.\u00a0 Do you think it would be undignified if I had the Marine Corp Band play \u201cNananana Hey Hey Hey Goodbye\u201d by Steam during their exit?<\/p>\n
VPP \u2013 No sir, not for you.\u00a0 In fact, now that I\u2019ve heard about it, I guess even I\u2019d be disappointed if you didn\u2019t play it.\u00a0 But to tell you the truth, now that I think about it, what about that Linda Rondstadt song that goes \u201cYou\u2019re no good, you\u2019re no good, you\u2019re no good, baby you\u2019re no good, I\u2019m gonna say it again!\u201d<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 No you\u2019re not gonna say it again.\u00a0 No I prefer Steam.\u00a0 It\u2019s a classic.<\/p>\n
VPP \u2013 As you wish sir.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Exactly.<\/p>\n