{"id":21807,"date":"2023-01-12T21:59:03","date_gmt":"2023-01-13T02:59:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=21807"},"modified":"2023-01-13T23:03:22","modified_gmt":"2023-01-14T04:03:22","slug":"the-further-adventures-of-hard-boiled-two-fisted-joe-biden-episode-i-bullitt-files","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/01\/12\/the-further-adventures-of-hard-boiled-two-fisted-joe-biden-episode-i-bullitt-files\/","title":{"rendered":"The Further Adventures of Hard Boiled, Two-Fisted Joe Biden \u2013 Episode I \u2013 Bullitt Files"},"content":{"rendered":"

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As the hour approached 3pm the reporters in the White House press room grew restive.\u00a0 They had been waiting two hours for President Biden to appear for his one o\u2019clock briefing on the seventh cache of top-secret documents that had been discovered in one of Joe Biden\u2019s far-flung empire of garages housing vintage sports cars.<\/p>\n

When the octogenarian commander in chief appeared he quickly saluted a coat rack that had a blue suit jacket on it and mounted the lectern where his voluminous notes were waiting for him.\u00a0 After unclenching his porcelain phalanx of state-of-the-art dental implants and shouting out the names of one or two deceased journalists the peripatetic president walked up and down the aisle mingling with the reporters; slapping the back of one misidentified NY Times White House correspondent and sniffing the hair of a middle-aged female Marine officer who had the misfortune to be within range of the sidler in chief.\u00a0 Finally, he was corralled by his press secretary and two secret service agents and returned to the lectern.<\/p>\n

Once he settled down a little and expelled a little gas he looked out over the audience and said, \u201cWell, here I am.\u00a0 What do you want to know?\u201d<\/p>\n

The Fox News White House anchor shouted out, \u201cMr. President, what kind of car was in this garage?\u201d\u00a0 Biden shot back, \u201cIt was a black 1968 Dodge Charger R\/T.\u00a0 It\u2019s the very car I drove in the motion picture Bullitt back in 1968.\u00a0 The reporter was taken aback, \u201cMr. President, you would have been twenty-six years old in 1968.\u00a0 The man driving that car was in his early fifties.\u201d\u00a0 Biden flashed his biggest Joker grin and said, \u201cThat\u2019s what they wanted you to believe.\u00a0 I wore one of those latex masks that fit over your whole head.\u00a0 You have to look at the scene really close to tell it\u2019s me.\u00a0 That was one of my best roles in Hollywood.\u201d<\/p>\n

The stunned talking head shook off his amazement and followed up, \u201cBe that as it may Mr. President, what do you say that this latest trove of documents includes three separate CIA reports on the highly suspicious activities of your son Hunter in Russia, Ukraine and Epstein\u2019s Island?\u201d\u00a0 Without missing a beat Dementia Joe replied, \u201cWhy there\u2019s nothing unusual about those files being found there.\u00a0 And by the way, it\u2019s almost certain that they were planted there by Russian agents working in lockstep with Vladimir Putin and co-conspirator Donald J. Trump.\u00a0 It\u2019s like I said to Franklin Delano Roosevelt the time I visited him at the White House in his last term.\u00a0 \u201cFrank\u201d I said, I always called him Frank, \u201cFrank you can\u2019t be too careful about those Rooskies.\u00a0 They\u2019re always trying to set up good honest Americans like us.\u201d”<\/p>\n

The reporter\u2019s mouth was sort of hanging open, \u201cMr. President, FDR died when you were two years old.\u201d\u00a0 Nonplussed, Biden shouted back, \u201cThat\u2019s what they\u2019d like you to believe.\u00a0 If you believe everything THEY tell you, y\u2019all will be back in chains, y\u2019all.\u00a0 The Asian American reporter could only reply weakly, \u201cY\u2019all?\u201d<\/p>\n

But by then Biden was taking his victory lap, \u201cLook it up on Wikipedia, it\u2019s right there in black and white.\u00a0 Say everybody I think we\u2019ve wasted enough time on this trivia.\u00a0 I\u2019m late for my 1:30 military briefing on China and I hear we\u2019ll be bombing them tomorrow so I really have to scoot.\u00a0 But it was good seeing y\u2019all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Udate:<\/p>\n

Chemist:<\/p>\n

In reply to\u00a0photog.<\/p>\n

Proof! Here is Slow Joe driving a Semi:<\/p>\n

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pic.twitter.com\/cx8H5XsHYy<\/a><\/p>\n

— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) January 13, 2023<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n