{"id":2465,"date":"2018-03-27T20:27:47","date_gmt":"2018-03-28T00:27:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=2465"},"modified":"2018-03-27T20:46:50","modified_gmt":"2018-03-28T00:46:50","slug":"trump-vs-the-hell-storm-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/27\/trump-vs-the-hell-storm-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump vs the Hell Storm (Part 2)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Trump vs the Hell Storm (Part 1)<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dramatis Personae:\u00a0 President Trump \u2013 (PT); Vice President Pence \u2013 (VPP);<\/p>\n

Scene 1: Trump Tower, Executive Suite.\u00a0 Monday 1pm.\u00a0 President Trump and Vice President Pence face to face around a small round office table.\u00a0 The table is littered with coffee cups and crumpled legal paper.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Also no good?\u00a0 Alright, how about this one?\u00a0 Ten years ago, Putin knew that I was destined to be President.\u00a0 So, in order to destroy me he drugged me with Spanish fly and brainwashed me into sleeping with Stormy Daniels.\u00a0 It makes sense, right?\u00a0 It\u2019s some form of Russian collusion and in a way my brain which is like a computer was hacked by Putin.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Stop!\u00a0 Enough!\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry Mr. President but that\u2019s enough.\u00a0 I can\u2019t listen to even one more of these insane lies.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re desperate but there isn\u2019t one chance in a trillion that anyone, and I mean anyone would believe any of those stories.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 But then what can I do?<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 I know it\u2019s a little late in the game but have you thought of the truth and an apology?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Mike, that\u2019s a brilliant idea.\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t I think of that?\u00a0 Anyway, I\u2019m going home right now and put your brilliant strategy into effect.\u00a0 Who knows?\u00a0 If this goes well I might even start telling the truth to Congress.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Mr. President, please take some time before you speak to her and try to understand her feelings about what you will be telling her.\u00a0 This will be a devastating conversation and you must be sensitive to her emotions and let her sense your sadness and contrition.<\/p>\n

PT- Look Mike you came up with a good idea but don\u2019t get all Dr. Phil on me.\u00a0 I think I know a thing or two about the ladies if you know what I mean.\u00a0 I\u2019ll pour on the Trump charm and prove just how large my hands really are if you catch my drift.\u00a0 See ya Mike.\u00a0 (exits the room.)<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Great Caesar\u2019s Ghost.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to murder him.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scene 2 \u2013 Tuesday morning 3am outside the Vice Presidential Residence.\u00a0 Two men supporting a third man between them.\u00a0 The third man shakily ringing the doorbell.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 (voice speaking over the intercom)\u00a0 Is that you Mr. President?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Help me Mike.\u00a0 Please help me.<\/p>\n

VPP – I’m buzzing you in. (the lock buzzes open).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scene 3 \u2013 The Vice-Presidential Parlor.\u00a0 President Trump is slumped back on a chaise longue.\u00a0 He has several small bandages over cuts on his face, a noticeable black eye and a bag of ice sitting on his groin.\u00a0 The Secret Service agents appear embarrassed and Vice President Pence is standing nervously fiddling with his robe belt looking down on the President.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 You set me up Mike.\u00a0 I went into the lion\u2019s den like some kind of roman martyr.\u00a0 I told her the truth and told her Stormy was over-rated as far as the sex went and that I\u2019d make it up to her in the sack and that she didn\u2019t look bad at all for her age.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Oh good grief.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 You have no idea.\u00a0 She went for the family jewels again so I curled up in a fetal position like they tell you to do with bears.\u00a0 But she was ready for that.\u00a0 She worked the face and and kidneys.\u00a0 She must have studied MMA or jiu-jitsu at some point.\u00a0 It took six Secret Service agents to get me out of there alive and two of them are at Walter Reed.\u00a0 One of them probably isn\u2019t going to pull through.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Mr. President, I\u2019m sure you\u2019re exaggerating.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Have you ever known me to exaggerate?<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Never mind.\u00a0 How would you like me to help you?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Well after that lousy advice I need you to redeem yourself and come up with an idea to fix this mess you\u2019ve gotten me into.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 (some strangled muffled sounds come from the Vice President\u2019s throat and then there is quiet).\u00a0 Certainly Mr. President.\u00a0 I\u2019ll attempt to provide you with better advice.\u00a0 Is there anything else I can do for you this morning?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah Mike.\u00a0 Can you get Mrs. Pence to make us some more eggs?\u00a0 This experience has been extremely taxing.<\/p>\n

(more strangled sounds come from Pence and he leaves).<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 He\u2019s a great guy when he\u2019s on his game.\u00a0 Alright guys help me into the dining room.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Trump vs the Hell Storm (Part 1)   Dramatis Personae:\u00a0 President Trump \u2013 (PT); Vice President Pence \u2013 (VPP); Scene 1: Trump Tower, Executive Suite.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[288,6],"tags":[168,652,372,653,16,391,373],"class_list":["post-2465","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-trump","tag-humor","tag-melania-trump","tag-mike-pence","tag-stormy-daniels","tag-trump","tag-trump-humor","tag-trump-vs"],"yoast_head":"\nTrump vs the Hell Storm (Part 2) - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/03\/27\/trump-vs-the-hell-storm-part-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Trump vs the Hell Storm (Part 2) - 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