Here is another movie for which I will not provide a spoiler alert.\u00a0 This movie cannot be spoiled.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing there to spoil.<\/p>\n
For whatever reason, more than a few well-known actors and celebrities appeared in this ridiculous film.\u00a0 The star is Bill Murray as Police Chief Cliff Robertson.\u00a0 \u00a0Adam Driver is Officer Ronnie Peterson, Robertson\u2019s patrol partner.\u00a0 Steve Buscemi is a farmer named Frank Miller.\u00a0 Tilda Swinton is Zelda Winston, a samurai\/funeral director\/space alien.\u00a0 Danny Glover is a hardware store owner.\u00a0 Selena Gomez is Zoe, \u201ca young traveler.\u201d\u00a0 Rosie Perez plays a tv reporter and Iggy Pop is a coffee guzzling zombie.\u00a0 Carol Kane is a fat bloated drunken zombie who wants a drink.\u00a0 And last but not least, Sturgill Simpson, who also sings the eponymous theme song of the movie (several times) is \u201cGuitar Zombie.\u201d\u00a0 He is this by virtue of a guitar that is dragging behind his foot by the strings as he stumbles zombie-like through the night.<\/p>\n
Most of the dialog is Murray and Driver speculating on the steadily increasing zombie body count in what I suppose is supposed to be the stoic tones of small-town cops.\u00a0 They also break the fourth wall from time to time by mentioning what the script said would happen next.\u00a0 And one strange character arc has Tilda Swinton interrupt her zombie slicing work to be picked up by an alien space ship and transported away.<\/p>\n
The reason given for the appearance of the walking dead is that the Earth has \u201cfallen off its axis\u201d because of \u201cpolar fracking.\u201d\u00a0 Eventually, one by one, or in small groups all the townspeople are eaten by the zombies.\u00a0 Finally Driver informs Murray that the movie ends with them dying while courageously fighting the zombies.\u00a0 So, they get out of their squad car and get to it.\u00a0 And not a moment too soon.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure whether this movie had a script or whether the actors just extemporized.\u00a0 There might have been a few moments that were mildly funny.\u00a0 Steve Buscemi is funny even when he doesn\u2019t mean to be.\u00a0 But there aren\u2019t many.\u00a0 And by the middle of the movie, you\u2019re just hoping it ends sooner than later.\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 It goes on and on.\u00a0 It\u2019s a very long 103 minutes.<\/p>\n
This movie must have an audience.\u00a0 But that audience doesn\u2019t include me.<\/p>\n