Currently the cable channels available to me contain two kinds of movies I might watch.\u00a0 There are Halloween movies (horror and slasher movies) and classics (mostly movies from the 1930\u2019s and 1940\u2019s with a smattering of later movies that supposedly have \u201ctimeless\u201d qualities).<\/p>\n
So tonight, my choice was between John Carpenter\u2019s \u201cThe Thing\u201d (1982) and the 1946 film noir \u201cGilda.\u201d\u00a0 In deference to Camera Girl\u2019s presence (she wanted something quiet in the background) I put on the older movie.<\/p>\n
(Spoiler Alert \u2013 Skip down to last paragraph to avoid spoilers and read recommendation)<\/strong><\/p>\n The plot of Gilda is slightly goofy.\u00a0 The motives of the three main characters are hard to reconcile with their actions.\u00a0 Glenn Ford plays Johnny Farrell, an American down on his luck in Buenos Aires for some unknown reason.\u00a0 We meet him he has just won a sum of money in a craps game from some American soldiers.\u00a0 As he walks away, he is accosted by a robber armed with a pistol.\u00a0 He is rescued by Ballin Mundson who happens by with a walking stick that has a retractable 18-inch blade hidden inside.\u00a0 We find out that Ballin owns an illegal gambling casino.\u00a0 And after a very short time Johnny inexplicably becomes Ballen\u2019s indispensable operations manager.<\/p>\n When Ballen returns from a business trip he introduces Johnny to his new American bride Gilda played by the absurdly beautiful Rita Hayworth.\u00a0 But of course, Ballen doesn\u2019t know that Johnny and Gilda were married and divorced sometime before the start of the movie timeline.\u00a0 And they vehemently hate each other.\u00a0 But neither of them reveals to Ballen this common history.\u00a0 And because Gilda resents Ballen\u2019s trust in and friendship with Johnny she attempts to torture Johnny by forcing him to cover up for a string of flirtations that she initiates with every man who catches her eye at the casino.\u00a0 The logic of this isn\u2019t really well explained.\u00a0 But Johnny apparently feels its his responsibility to keep Gilda from upsetting Ballen.<\/p>\n During this part of the movie, we learn that Ballen has other business interests in addition to the casino.\u00a0 Somehow through patents he has a monopoly on the world-wide production of tungsten (of all things).\u00a0 And eventually we find out that his position was provided to him by Nazis(!).\u00a0 Eventually the Nazis return and want their monopoly back.\u00a0 A crisis arises when Ballen refuses their demands and he murders one of the Nazis at the casino.\u00a0 Ballen must flee the country to escape the law.\u00a0 He tells Johnny to find Gilda and bring her back to his house from which he will be fleeing with Johnny and Gilda that night.<\/p>\n When Johnny extracts Gilda from a romantic rendezvous that she was on and brings her to Ballen\u2019s house they have a bitter fight which of course ends with them in a passionate kiss.\u00a0 And, of course Ballen enters the room at that exact moment.\u00a0 He rushes out and drives away.\u00a0 Johnny jumps in his own car and follows him to the airport where Ballen runs to a waiting plane and flies out over the ocean.\u00a0 The police have followed both of them and they tell Johnny that they have been waiting for the Nazis because they want to bust up the tungsten cartel.\u00a0 They watch Ballen\u2019s plane heading off into the night when it suddenly explodes.\u00a0 We are then shown Ballen parachuting into the ocean where he is picked up by a boat.\u00a0 He tells his rescuers that he will be hiding out for a while but he will return to deal with a situation, which we assume is Johnny and Gilda.<\/p>\n Thinking Ballen dead, his will is read and Gilda is his sole heir but Johnny is the sole executor of his estate.\u00a0 So, Johnny marries Gilda to get control of the casino and the tungsten empire.\u00a0 Afterward he treats her like dirt as revenge for what Johnny thinks of as her disloyalty with other men.\u00a0 Gilda rebels by acting even more disloyal.\u00a0 Finally, there is a rapprochement when Johnny finds out that Gilda has only been pretending to have affairs with various men.\u00a0 Now the police tell Johnny that he must give up the casino and tungsten business because Argentina is about to seize them.\u00a0 Johnny and Gilda decide to return home to America.\u00a0 But at that juncture Ballen returns and announces that he is going to kill the couple.\u00a0 And because he has to kill them both he won\u2019t use his sword cane but his gun instead.\u00a0 But just as he bears down on them, the friendly philosopher\/bathroom attendant (I didn\u2019t mention him before?) Uncle Pio stabs Ballen in the back with his own sword cane.\u00a0 The understanding police inspector declines to press charges against the amiable killer saying, \u201cyou can\u2019t murder someone who has already been declared dead plus haven\u2019t you ever heard of justifiable homicide?\u201d\u00a0 And Johnny and Gilda live happily ever after.\u00a0 Well, anyway we hope so.<\/p>\n Good lord.\u00a0 This movie is a hopeless mess.\u00a0 As I said earlier the plot and the motivations of the main characters are hopelessly absurd. \u00a0Gilda\u2019s marriage to Ballen can\u2019t be reconciled with her actions.\u00a0 And Gilda\u2019s and Johnny\u2019s feelings for each other are hopelessly confusing and annoying to the audience.\u00a0 The whole plot of the Nazi tungsten business makes no sense and seems ridiculous on its face.\u00a0 Sure, uranium would have made sense for crypto-Nazis to be dabbling in but tungsten?\u00a0 What were they planning to do, deprive the world of light bulbs?\u00a0 And then there is the laid-back police inspector who wouldn\u2019t let a little thing like homicide stand in the way of a happy ending.\u00a0 Add to this Gilda\u2019s almost incessant habit of saying Johnny\u2019s name in every sentence she utters at him and you have a movie in which it is impossible to suspend disbelief.\u00a0 The only possible motive for this movie was to showcase Rita Hayworth\u2019s face and figure.\u00a0 And without a doubt that is a worthwhile endeavor.\u00a0 Hayworth is featured in several song and dance routines where she parades and shakes her very charming assets for the audience.\u00a0 She was a very lovely woman in the prime of her life. \u00a0Now is this a movie worth recommending?\u00a0 I would say only if all that I\u2019ve said is taken into account.\u00a0 You have to be going in just to watch Rita Hayworth dance to \u201cPut the Blame on Mame.\u201d\u00a0 If not then don\u2019t.<\/p>\n