{"id":26266,"date":"2023-11-11T05:00:23","date_gmt":"2023-11-11T10:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=26266"},"modified":"2023-11-10T23:01:51","modified_gmt":"2023-11-11T04:01:51","slug":"honest-debate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/11\/11\/honest-debate\/","title":{"rendered":"Honest Debate"},"content":{"rendered":"

photog<\/strong> \u2013 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen in the studio audience and you folks watching at home.\u00a0 Welcome to the fourth scheduled Republican Presidential Candidates\u2019 Debate here at the beautiful Mar-a-Lago estate in sunny Florida, home of the front runner in the race, former President Donald J. Trump.\u00a0 As you all probably know, the former President has agreed to join the debate under the condition that it be held at his estate and under the rules that he has laid out for the debate.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m your host Pho Tog of the OCF Broadcast Network and I will provide commentary as needed, but mostly I want to bear witness to this surely fascinating meeting.\u00a0 The moderator will be Tucker Carlson and he will control the questioning.\u00a0 In addition to the former President, the debate will be between Governor Ron DeSantis, former Governor Nikki Haley, businessman Vivek Ramaswamy, Senator Tim Scott and former Governor Chris Christy.<\/p>\n

The other candidates have taken their places at their lecterns but President Trump has not yet made his appearance.\u00a0 They all seem very annoyed by this turn of events.\u00a0 The outdoor locale for the debate next to the lagoon while very scenic has made most of the debaters doubtful that the event will provide the gravitas that such an important occasion deserves.\u00a0 With their backs to the water the candidates face a stage where Mr. Carlson stands at a lectern with his notes, a microphone and a keypad.<\/p>\n

And now to add to the unorthodox nature of the event I can see and hear the surface of the lagoon behind the candidates roiling.\u00a0 And now breaking the surface is the cephalopodic visage of the Great Old One Cthulhu.\u00a0 He has walked ashore and has brought with him his own custom lectern, probably three hundred and fifty feet tall, but no notes that I can see.\u00a0 There is considerable consternation among the human debate participants.\u00a0 And Cthulhu is addressing them.\u00a0 Let\u2019s listen in.<\/p>\n

CTHULHU \u2013<\/strong> Moderator Carlson, I come with a message from President Donald J. Trump.<\/p>\n

Tucker \u2013 <\/strong>What is your message O, Great Old One?<\/p>\n

CTHULHU \u2013 <\/strong>He says and I quote, \u201cI agreed to be represented in this debate but I did not mean personally.\u00a0 I have sent my emissary the Great Old One Cthulhu, and really, he\u2019s the greatest and oldest one, to represent me amongst this field of pygmies.\u00a0 He is great just as I am great.\u00a0 He will provide really great answers to all of Tucker\u2019s questions which will also be great.\u00a0 Enjoy the buffet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Christie \u2013<\/strong> This is an outrage.\u00a0 Donald Trump has shown his true colors by chickening out of his commitment.\u00a0 I won\u2019t stand for this cowardice.<\/p>\n

Tucker<\/strong> \u2013 Do you intend to leave?<\/p>\n

Christie<\/strong> \u2013 No, I will use this event to prove to America that I am the man who can get the job done.\u00a0 I\u2019m not a slacker like Trump.<\/p>\n

Tucker<\/strong> \u2013 Alright, let\u2019s move forward with the debate.\u00a0 The first question is for Donald Trump which will be answered by his surrogate, the Great Old One Cthulhu.\u00a0 If you are elected president, how do you intend to prevent the FBI from sabotaging your administration by spying on your cabinet, arresting your officials and generally disrupting your agenda as they did in your previous term.<\/p>\n

CTHULHU<\/strong> \u2013 All great leaders achieve their results by attacking their enemies head on.\u00a0 On the first day in office, I intend to go to FBI headquarters and personally question each and every manager to see if they will carry out my mandate without question.\u00a0 Any that hesitate on these terms will be terminated on the spot.<\/p>\n

Christie<\/strong> \u2013 That\u2019s ridiculous.\u00a0 You can\u2019t fire those federal civil servants.\u00a0 It\u2019s against the law.<\/p>\n

CTHULHU<\/strong> \u2013 I don\u2019t intend to fire them.\u00a0 I intend to eat them.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember hearing about any federal statute specifically forbidding that.<\/p>\n

Christie<\/strong> \u2013 But that\u2019s monstrous!<\/p>\n

CTHULHU<\/strong> \u2013 Well technically I am a monster.<\/p>\n

Christie<\/strong> \u2013 But Trump isn\u2019t.\u00a0 He can\u2019t eat people.<\/p>\n

CTHULHU<\/strong> \u2013 Well, fine.\u00a0 Then he can have me appointed as provisional Attorney General and I can eat them then.<\/p>\n

Christie<\/strong> \u2013 I think I\u2019ve listened to just about enough of this nonsense.\u00a0 This is just more of Trump\u2019s MAGA tough talk.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t get it done last time and he won\u2019t get it done this time.\u00a0 And he was too afraid to face me on this stage like a man so he sent this squid-headed freak to spout his lies.\u00a0 He won\u2019t fix the government because no one is eating anyone!<\/p>\n

photog<\/strong> \u2013 Ladies and gentlemen, the video feed has been stopped.\u00a0 After Christie\u2019s comment Cthulhu reached down with his massive claw, scooped up the morbidly obese politician and popped him in his mouth.\u00a0 After a few muffled screams, the crunching of bones and a loud gulp Cthulhu was heard to remark, \u201cNeeded a little salt.\u201d<\/p>\n

After that the other candidates scattered toward the foliage and Tucker Carlson attempted to explain to Cthulhu that this might be the end of the proceedings.<\/p>\n

Well folks this has been an interesting night.\u00a0 I think we\u2019re all grateful to Governor Christie for speaking his mind.\u00a0 He certainly said what he thought.\u00a0 And now we know that direct action will be a cornerstone of the next Trump administration, at least if Cthulhu is included in the Cabinet.\u00a0 So good night from Mar-a-Lago and I\u2019ll see you at the next Republican debate.\u00a0 Oh, who am I kidding.\u00a0 That was the last one.\u00a0 Bring on Joe Biden and some ranch dressing.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Cthulhu<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

photog \u2013 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen in the studio audience and you folks watching at home.\u00a0 Welcome to the fourth scheduled Republican Presidential Candidates\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[362,16,391],"class_list":["post-26266","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-cthulhu","tag-trump","tag-trump-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nHonest Debate - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/11\/11\/honest-debate\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Honest Debate - 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