{"id":26700,"date":"2023-12-09T05:00:52","date_gmt":"2023-12-09T10:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=26700"},"modified":"2023-12-08T16:13:10","modified_gmt":"2023-12-08T21:13:10","slug":"late-night-photog-3-cthulhu-fills-in","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/09\/late-night-photog-3-cthulhu-fills-in\/","title":{"rendered":"Late Night photog \u2013 3 \u2013 Cthulhu Fills In"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cthulhu \u2013<\/strong> Well we\u2019re back.\u00a0 And for those tuning in late I\u2019m Cthulhu and I\u2019m filling in for photog while he explains some things to the FBI in DC this week.\u00a0 Well, we hope it\u2019s just this week because, honestly, I do have better things to do than amuse his audience, I can tell you that.\u00a0 But enough complaining.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a great show tonight.\u00a0 I\u2019ve provided my own band this week.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got George Harrison, Roy Orbison and Tom Petty of the Stationary Wilburys and they\u2019ll be singing their new song, \u201cCome on Down Bob, it\u2019s a Dry Heat.\u201d\u00a0 And later on, I\u2019ll be talking to Sadaam Hussein about his new book, \u201cThey Weren\u2019t Kidding!\u201d<\/p>\n

But now let\u2019s give a big hand to that master of disaster, Henry Kissinger!\u00a0 Hey Henry, how the hell are you?<\/p>\n

Kissinger \u2013<\/strong> Funny you should put it that way, Cthulhu.\u00a0 It is a bit hot down there for my liking but I won\u2019t bore you with my problems.\u00a0 All in all, it\u2019s been an interesting experience.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had a chance to catch up with Dick Nixon and some of the other boys from my salad days.\u00a0 Good times.\u00a0 But really my next assignment is what I\u2019m interested in.<\/p>\n

Cthulhu \u2013<\/strong> What\u2019s that Henry?<\/p>\n

Kissinger \u2013<\/strong> I\u2019m doing contract work for the administration down there.\u00a0 Apparently, Lucifer is short on strategic thinkers, at least modern ones.\u00a0 Would you believe it, Metternich was still on the job down there.\u00a0 He never got anything done but just kept repeating \u201cMight through Right! Might through Right!\u201d\u00a0 Hopeless old bird.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what people saw in him.<\/p>\n

Cthulhu \u2013<\/strong> What kind of strategic planning does Hell need?<\/p>\n

Kissinger \u2013<\/strong> Trust me.\u00a0 Everyone needs planning.\u00a0 Recently Black Rock reduced our ESG score because we hadn\u2019t assigned pronouns for Baphomet on his infernal stationery and business cards.\u00a0 Those guys are brutal and they just don\u2019t give a crap who they hurt.\u00a0 So, I busted my hump first day, right out of the chute and got BR to cut us a little slack until I had a chance to reform things.\u00a0 Luckily for the Prince of Darkness I know where the bodies are buried at Black Rock so everything worked out.\u00a0 But I tell you there\u2019s no rest for the wicked.\u00a0 Literally!<\/p>\n

Cthulhu \u2013<\/strong> Tell me about it!\u00a0 Last month I was returning from laying waste to a stellar system inhabited by fungoid beetle beings.\u00a0 You know, real eldritch Great Old Ones stuff.\u00a0 And accidentally I tracked in a little plutonium from the finale.\u00a0 Well somehow the EPA and the NRC got wind of it and now they\u2019re all up in my business and they\u2019re even threatening to pull my NGO status and shut down my cult.\u00a0 Bureaucrats.<\/p>\n

Kissinger \u2013<\/strong> Well, I don\u2019t want to interfere but my contract with Lucifer isn\u2019t exclusive and I still have lots of friends in Washington.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like, I\u2019ll straighten the thing out for you.<\/p>\n

Cthulhu \u2013<\/strong> Why, that\u2019s mighty nice of you Henry.\u00a0 How can I repay you?<\/p>\n

Kissinger \u2013<\/strong> Funny you should ask.\u00a0 There\u2019s one thing I could really use is a flunky down here.\u00a0 I need someone with absolutely no scruples, an inveterate liar and low intelligence as a whipping boy in my dealing with his Satanic Majesty.<\/p>\n

Cthulhu \u2013<\/strong> You want Biden?<\/p>\n

Kissinger \u2013<\/strong> In a word, yes.\u00a0 He\u2019s not due down here for ten more years but if you\u2019ve got the bandwidth, it would really help me out if he could be delivered in early 2025.<\/p>\n

Cthulhu \u2013<\/strong> Hey no problem.\u00a0 I\u2019m supposed to ease him out of his gig this year so consider it done.\u00a0 But I tell you; dealing directly with him is no picnic.\u00a0 Even I feel contaminated after dealing with that skunk.\u00a0 Well, to each his own.<\/p>\n

Kissinger \u2013<\/strong> Thanks.\u00a0 But I better be going.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be late for my morning lake of fire immersion.\u00a0 If I\u2019m last, I get stuck next to Hitler and Stalin and then it\u2019s just bitch, bitch, bitch.<\/p>\n

Cthulhu \u2013<\/strong> Everybody, Henry Kissinger!\u00a0 Give him a big Late-Night round of applause.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cthulhu \u2013 Well we\u2019re back.\u00a0 And for those tuning in late I\u2019m Cthulhu and I\u2019m filling in for photog while he explains some things to<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,3366,818,1263,6],"tags":[362,3341,3367,4357,216,16],"class_list":["post-26700","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-life-in-dunwich","category-ocf","category-stuff-that-personally-interests-me-miscellaneous","category-trump","tag-cthulhu","tag-dunwich","tag-dunwich-complainer","tag-late-night-photog","tag-photog","tag-trump"],"yoast_head":"\nLate Night photog \u2013 3 \u2013 Cthulhu Fills In - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/09\/late-night-photog-3-cthulhu-fills-in\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Late Night photog \u2013 3 \u2013 Cthulhu Fills In - 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