{"id":26831,"date":"2023-12-20T07:01:38","date_gmt":"2023-12-20T12:01:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=26831"},"modified":"2023-12-20T09:11:11","modified_gmt":"2023-12-20T14:11:11","slug":"a-biden-carol-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"A Biden Carol (Part 2)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Scene 1 \u2013 White House Residence \/ 1 a.m.<\/u><\/em><\/p>\n

Biden<\/strong> \u2013 I really must be cracking up.\u00a0 What a horrible nightmare that was.\u00a0 And I\u2019m not even in bed.\u00a0 C\u2019mon Joe.\u00a0 Snap out of it.\u00a0 It must have been the Adderall wearing off.\u00a0 Get a grip.\u00a0 What\u2019s that light I see glowing before my eyes?<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past<\/strong> \u2013 I am the Ghost of Biden Past.<\/p>\n

Biden<\/strong> \u2013 Is that really a thing?<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>No, I\u2019m just the guy who got stuck with this gig.\u00a0 But work with me here.\u00a0 We\u2019re trying to line this thing up with Dickens.<\/p>\n

Biden<\/strong> \u2013 Sure, sure.\u00a0 Are you going to show me all the things in my past that I should feel gratitude about and help me to be a better man?<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>No, that ship has sailed, hit an iceberg and sunk to the bottom of the ocean.\u00a0 I\u2019m here to remind you of all the horrible stuff you\u2019ve done so that it\u2019s crystal clear why the perpetual gruesome agony you are slated for will be completely justified.<\/p>\n

Biden<\/strong> \u2013 Wow!\u00a0 No partial credit for that time I saved that amphibious lander when I shot down the Japanese Zero back in dubya, dubya two?<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>Joe, you were born in 1942.<\/p>\n

Biden<\/strong> \u2013 Oh, right.\u00a0 I must be thinking of my service in Viet Nam.<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>No you dodged the draft for Viet Nam.<\/p>\n

Biden \u2013<\/strong> So you\u2019re not gonna work with me here.<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>Work with you?\u00a0 I\u2019m rooting for you to get the perpetual wood chipper option.\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019ve got fifty bucks on it in the office pool.<\/p>\n

Biden<\/strong> \u2013 Surely all that good work I did while in the Senate must buy me some good will up there.<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>Up there?\u00a0 Even Lucifer doesn\u2019t want to work on your case.\u00a0 He was thinking of farming you out to the Great Old Ones.\u00a0 But Cthulhu said, nothing doing.\u00a0 So, we\u2019re stuck with you.<\/p>\n

Biden<\/strong> \u2013 Surely someone from my past will speak in my defense.<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>Yes, there was one character witness who was able to remove a very small charge from your list of sins.\u00a0 We found Corn Pop and he said you never threatened him with a chain.\u00a0 Apparently, you just ran off and never came back to the lifeguard gig you had.<\/p>\n

Biden<\/strong> \u2013 That\u2019s a lie.\u00a0 He was a very bad dude and I stood up to him.<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>Well, we checked out that story.\u00a0 Corn Pop back then was an asthmatic camp counselor at the local YMCA with coke bottle glasses and a limp.\u00a0 Now he\u2019s a retired postal worker.<\/p>\n

Biden \u2013 <\/strong>Yeah well, that\u2019s not how I remember it.\u00a0 So, what\u2019s next?<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>We\u2019re going to walk you through the highlights of your various activities.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got Juanita Broaddrick and that summer with you \u201cshowering\u201d with your underaged daughter.\u00a0 We\u2019ll go through the work you did getting Hunter to where he is now.\u00a0 Then we\u2019ll go over your work as the \u201cBig Guy\u201d and all of the stuff you did \u201cfor the country\u201d while working for Obama.\u00a0 For fun we\u2019ll go over the blooper reel with your hair plugs and aviator shades.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be a busy time.<\/p>\n

Biden<\/strong> \u2013 So this doesn\u2019t look so good.\u00a0 Should I get a lawyer or a character witness?\u00a0 How about my old friend Barack.\u00a0 Everybody loves him.<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>Yeahhhh, about that.\u00a0 Old Bathhouse Barry has his own \u2018splainin\u2019 to do.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think that would be wise.<\/p>\n

Biden \u2013 <\/strong>Alright let\u2019s start the tour.\u00a0 Will there be lunch?<\/p>\n

Ghost of Biden Past \u2013 <\/strong>Don\u2019t worry there will be some roasted meat sooner than you think.<\/p>\n

(Exit)<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scene 1 \u2013 White House Residence \/ 1 a.m. Biden \u2013 I really must be cracking up.\u00a0 What a horrible nightmare that was.\u00a0 And I\u2019m<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2945,5,288,6],"tags":[1011,3193,3519,168],"class_list":["post-26831","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-biden-humor","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-a-christmas-carol","tag-biden-humor","tag-failed-biden-presidency","tag-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nA Biden Carol (Part 2) - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Biden Carol (Part 2) - Orion's Cold Fire\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Scene 1 \u2013 White House Residence \/ 1 a.m. Biden \u2013 I really must be cracking up.\u00a0 What a horrible nightmare that was.\u00a0 And I\u2019m\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Orion's Cold Fire\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-12-20T12:01:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-12-20T14:11:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"photog\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@orionscoldfire\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@orionscoldfire\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"photog\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"photog\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/d11e80f83f3825ce9fe38a5303eb64d3\"},\"headline\":\"A Biden Carol (Part 2)\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-12-20T12:01:38+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-20T14:11:11+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/\"},\"wordCount\":653,\"commentCount\":2,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"A Christmas Carol\",\"Biden humor\",\"Failed Biden Presidency\",\"Humor\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Biden Humor\",\"Current Events\",\"Humor\",\"Trump\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/\",\"name\":\"A Biden Carol (Part 2) - Orion's Cold Fire\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2023-12-20T12:01:38+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-12-20T14:11:11+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"A Biden Carol (Part 2)\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/\",\"name\":\"Orion's Cold Fire\",\"description\":\"All the Secrets of the Universe and Some Really Important Stuff Too!\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Orion's Cold Fire\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/DSC06141.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/DSC06141.jpg\",\"width\":4022,\"height\":1419,\"caption\":\"Orion's Cold Fire\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/orionscoldfire\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/d11e80f83f3825ce9fe38a5303eb64d3\",\"name\":\"photog\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/photog-image.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/photog-image.jpg\",\"caption\":\"photog\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/author\/photog\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"A Biden Carol (Part 2) - Orion's Cold Fire","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"A Biden Carol (Part 2) - Orion's Cold Fire","og_description":"Scene 1 \u2013 White House Residence \/ 1 a.m. Biden \u2013 I really must be cracking up.\u00a0 What a horrible nightmare that was.\u00a0 And I\u2019m","og_url":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/","og_site_name":"Orion's Cold Fire","article_published_time":"2023-12-20T12:01:38+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-12-20T14:11:11+00:00","author":"photog","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@orionscoldfire","twitter_site":"@orionscoldfire","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"photog","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/"},"author":{"name":"photog","@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/d11e80f83f3825ce9fe38a5303eb64d3"},"headline":"A Biden Carol (Part 2)","datePublished":"2023-12-20T12:01:38+00:00","dateModified":"2023-12-20T14:11:11+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/"},"wordCount":653,"commentCount":2,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#organization"},"keywords":["A Christmas Carol","Biden humor","Failed Biden Presidency","Humor"],"articleSection":["Biden Humor","Current Events","Humor","Trump"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/","url":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/","name":"A Biden Carol (Part 2) - Orion's Cold Fire","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2023-12-20T12:01:38+00:00","dateModified":"2023-12-20T14:11:11+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2023\/12\/20\/a-biden-carol-part-2\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"A Biden Carol (Part 2)"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/","name":"Orion's Cold Fire","description":"All the Secrets of the Universe and Some Really Important Stuff Too!","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#organization","name":"Orion's Cold Fire","url":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/DSC06141.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/DSC06141.jpg","width":4022,"height":1419,"caption":"Orion's Cold Fire"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/twitter.com\/orionscoldfire"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/d11e80f83f3825ce9fe38a5303eb64d3","name":"photog","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/photog-image.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/03\/photog-image.jpg","caption":"photog"},"url":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/author\/photog\/"}]}},"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26831","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26831"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26831\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26833,"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26831\/revisions\/26833"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26831"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26831"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26831"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}