Tuesday was a chaotic day.\u00a0 We had snow, then rain, then sleet.\u00a0 When I got out of work today my car was a popsicle.\u00a0 But being a really lazy guy, my ice scraper was sitting at home where I left it, in front of the kitchen porch where it was definitely of limited value.\u00a0 So, I used my bare hands to scrape this thick ice off my windshield and remove the ice from the roof and trunk.\u00a0 Liquid water is an amazing heat transfer material.\u00a0 The ice on the car was wet enough to make my caveman act extremely effective at freezing my fingertips.\u00a0 So, there I am driving along trying to use the dashboard car heater to thaw my fingers enough to feel the steering wheel.<\/p>\n
On the way home I filled up my five-gallon plastic gas can with some three-dollar gasoline and headed home to the horror that was my driveway.\u00a0 Because there was still a freezing rain falling, I put on a raincoat.\u00a0 And because my fingers were still kind of tingly-numb I decided that I needed to protect them from getting frozen again.\u00a0 I made a glove sandwich.\u00a0 I put a pair of thin Thinsulate gloves on and covered them with a pair of disposable kitchen gloves.\u00a0 Not the tight-fitting rubber ones for doing the dishes but the loose clear thin plastic kind that restaurant workers wear when they handle cold cuts.\u00a0 Then I put a pair of work gloves on top of this.\u00a0 It worked like a charm.\u00a0 Keeping the insulated glove dry kept my hands warm and the work gloves provided the strength to protect the thin plastic gloves from damage.\u00a0 Edison the Man!<\/p>\n
Snow blowers are pretty good with dry snow.\u00a0 They\u2019re so-so with wet snow and they\u2019re pretty abysmal with slush.\u00a0 And that\u2019s what I had.\u00a0 The slush would separate in the auger and form a cylindrical plug of solid ice that would slowly travel up the outlet and when it got to about a foot long it would break off and fall out of the chute and then a burst of watery slush would shoot out for about thirty seconds and then start to clog with ice again.\u00a0 It took about three passes over the whole length to get most of the slush off the driveway and even then, it was still a mess.<\/p>\n
Last week, I bought this fancy shovel which works better at pushing than shoveling the snow down the driveway.\u00a0 It has a couple of handles at different points on its length and works really well for quickly clearing this heavy wet stuff.\u00a0 I went over the whole upper driveway again with it.\u00a0 This was slower and more tiring than the snowblower, but much more successful.\u00a0 By the time the light failed at about 5 pm I had gotten the upper driveway and enough of the rest of the pavement cleaned up to the point where tomorrow I should be able to get in and out without trouble.\u00a0 Camera Girl provided sufficient wifely verbal sympathy for my heroic efforts and also a hot meal that was greatly appreciated.<\/p>\n
Afterwards I watched a few clips on the results of the Iowa caucuses and was happy to hear the Lefties on MSNBC caterwauling about white privilege and racism.\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting how even Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow only seem somewhat moronic when in the company of someone as profoundly stupid as Joy Reid.\u00a0 She was jabbering away about how White Christians were plotting with Donald Trump to subvert the country and disenfranchise everyone who wasn\u2019t white and Christian.<\/p>\n
And I thought to myself, \u201cIf only Trump was this evil dictator.\u00a0 I think I would submit to a purported dictatorship of these Midwestern, Elks or Shriners or whatever, if only they would promise to sit Joy Reid on the shelf of a dunk tank filled with ice water and gave me a dozen baseballs.\u00a0 Now I\u2019m not a monster.\u00a0 I would allow her to be fished out between dunks and dried off and warmed up.\u00a0 But I would consider it one of my finest moments if I managed to hit the target even once and consigned Joy Reid to the icy depths if only for a few moments.\u00a0 And I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s a pretty good idea.\u201d\u00a0 Dunk tank justice would provide satisfaction to the multitudes.\u00a0 Imagine if every aggrieved conservative got a turn at freeze dunking Nancy Pelosi or Joe Biden or Nikki Haley for saying really stupid things.\u00a0 This would be a happier world.\u00a0 Of course, some of the frailer losers like Pelosi might catch pneumonia.\u00a0 But I\u2019m willing to take that risk.<\/p>\n
I guess maybe the cruel and unusual punishment standard of justice might forbid dunk tank justice.\u00a0 But I tell you, I don\u2019t see why we couldn\u2019t get a constitutional amendment to cover it.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll bet if Joy Reid thought that she could get dunked in ice water for saying things as stupid as what comes out of her mouth currently, maybe she\u2019d take up some more noble profession, like rodeo clown.\u00a0 But unfortunately, being a rodeo clown takes brains, of which she has not a scintilla.\u00a0 Well, how about doorstop?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tuesday was a chaotic day.\u00a0 We had snow, then rain, then sleet.\u00a0 When I got out of work today my car was a popsicle.\u00a0 But<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288],"tags":[3344,3341,139,4402,4401,524],"class_list":["post-27142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","tag-2024-elections","tag-dunwich","tag-fake-news","tag-joy-reid","tag-msnbc","tag-rachel-maddow"],"yoast_head":"\n