Scene 1- 8am White House West Wing; Oval Office, President Trump sitting at his desk.<\/strong><\/p>\nPT \u2013 Mike. … Mike. … PENCE!!!!<\/p>\n
VPP \u2013 Right here Mr. President.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Quick, get Pruitt over here right away.<\/p>\n
VPP \u2013 You know Mr. President the switchboard can do that for you.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Too busy today Mike?\u00a0 Sorry I put you out.\u00a0 Please accept my apologies.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell the Chief of Staff not to wake you before Wednesday.\u00a0 Is that satisfactory, Your Highness?<\/p>\n
VPP \u2013 Understood, I\u2019ll tell Scott to get here ASAP.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Another profile in courage by Mike Pence.<\/p>\n
(Mike Pence walks out the door shaking his head.\u00a0 Ten minutes later Scott Pruitt walks in)<\/p>\n
SP \u2013 Mike said you needed me Mr. President.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Scott, look at this fake news on MSNBC.<\/p>\n
(President Trump puts the cable show up on a conference monitor.\u00a0 Rachel Maddow is reporting triumphantly on a Court ruling that prevents an Administration action.<\/p>\n
RM \u2013 And the 4th<\/sup> Circuit Court\u2019s decision effectively prevents the EPA from firing the Obama holdovers for at least 5 years.\u00a0 The court further specified that the workers must be employed in environmental project work only.<\/p>\nSP \u2013 I\u2019m afraid it\u2019s true.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got forty Obama appointees each making two hundred grand apiece and the only way to get rid of them is have them quit.\u00a0 And there\u2019s no way on earth they\u2019ll do that now.\u00a0 Environmental projects aren\u2019t exactly difficult.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Pruitt, you low energy loser, I\u2019ve been defending you against the press and Democrats for weeks.<\/p>\n
If you don\u2019t come up with a solution to this I\u2019ll feed you to the lions.<\/p>\n
SP \u2013 Yes Mr. President.\u00a0 Hmmm, lions.<\/p>\n
Scene 2- 8pm MSNBC Studio of the Rachel Maddow Show.\u00a0 Maddow is sitting at her desk, and on the screen is President Trump.<\/strong><\/p>\nRM \u2013 We\u2019re coming to you live with this exclusive interview with President Donald Trump as he reacts to the stunning defeat of his assault on the EPA.\u00a0 Mr. Trump, does the judicial reversal of your illegal firings spell the end of your charmed reign of terror?\u00a0 Will this represent the beginning of the end for your Administration and the chance for Hillary Clinton to be restored to her rightful place as Madame President?<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Rachel, that studio you\u2019re in must be too cold because under that boy\u2019s haircut you\u2019ve developed brain freeze.\u00a0 Crooked Hillary is detoxing in a sanitarium while Bill frolics with the maid.\u00a0 And, of course, my administration will completely comply with any legitimate judicial decision, no matter how asinine it may be.<\/p>\n
RM \u2013 Well, despite your homophobic jibe it must distress you greatly that these Obama appointees will be doing everything in their power to save the environment from your friends, the rapacious wolves of Wall Street.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Well Rachel, you\u2019re very much mistaken.\u00a0 I thought long and hard about what fitting assignment I could find for these unselfish champions of the environment.\u00a0 Luckily, Administrator Pruitt found just the project.\u00a0 It seems that there has been of late an invasive species causing terrible environmental damage down in Florida.\u00a0 It\u2019s a tragic situation.\u00a0 And even though this species is doing untold environmental harm all true lovers of Mother Earth would want these invaders treated humanely.\u00a0 So, in keeping with that humanity, I\u2019ve assigned these forty environmental champions with the difficult but incredibly rewarding task of capturing by hand the tens of thousands of Burmese Pythons now infesting the Everglades National Park.\u00a0 It will be dangerous and hopefully torturously uncomfortable, but we will make sure that these heroes of Gaia spend the rest of my administration up to their armpits in pythons and swamp mud.\u00a0 Of course, if they don\u2019t feel up to the challenge, they can of course resign.\u00a0 But we don\u2019t imagine they could consider that.<\/p>\n
RM \u2013 I know I\u2019m an atheist but is it possible you actually are Satan.<\/p>\n
PT \u2013 Sucks to be you toots.\u00a0 Trump out.<\/p>\n
RM \u2013 Well folks, he\u2019s done it again.\u00a0 This is not a nightmare.\u00a0 This really is life in Trump\u2019s America.\u00a0 Good night?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dramatis Personae: President Trump \u2013 (PT); Vice President Pence \u2013 (VPP); EPA Administrator \u00a0Scott Pruitt \u2013 (SP); Rachel Maddow \u2013 (RM); Scene 1- 8am<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[1074,1073,372,524,1072,16,373],"class_list":["post-2941","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-burmese-pythons","tag-epa","tag-mike-pence","tag-rachel-maddow","tag-scott-pruitt","tag-trump","tag-trump-vs"],"yoast_head":"\n
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