{"id":3198,"date":"2018-06-08T06:49:03","date_gmt":"2018-06-08T10:49:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=3198"},"modified":"2018-06-08T06:49:42","modified_gmt":"2018-06-08T10:49:42","slug":"trump-vs-the-big-boredom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/06\/08\/trump-vs-the-big-boredom\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump vs The Big Boredom"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dramatis Personae: President Trump \u2013 (PT); Melania Trump \u2013 (MT); photog \u2013 (PH)<\/em><\/p>\n

Scene 1- 8am White House West Wing; Presidential Living Quarters; President Trump and Melania sitting at the breakfast table<\/strong><\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Schmoopey, I\u2019m telling you, I can\u2019t take it anymore.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 Schmoopey, what is all this big deal about? What can you not take more of?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Washington, I can\u2019t stand this place anymore. It\u2019s so boring. I\u2019m ready to jump on Air Force One and go hang out with Putin.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 No, please Schmoopey do not. There are terrible women there who do not know what a shower is and so they wet the bed. Be wise. Stay far away from them.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 But I\u2019ve got to do something or I\u2019ll explode. Think of something.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 Can I call Vice Mike? He is a smart man.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Nooo!!! He\u2019s more boring than Crying Chuck Schumer. Maybe I should go see Bubba Clinton.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 You will not call that awful, awful man. The way he stared at me during your in-swearing made me think of the devil. Lying Hillary must be a witch to live with such a devil.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Well then who is left?<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 You must summon the photog.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 What, that loser? He\u2019s no fun.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 But he knows about the boredom. He is after all poor.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 That\u2019s true, I\u2019ve seen the truck he drives. Sure, I\u2019ll call him. If worst comes to worst I can have the Secret Service waterboard him, that might be fun.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 And you are smiling already!<\/p>\n

Scene 2 \u2013 8pm White House West Wing; Oval Office; President Trump sitting at desk, photog just entering the door.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Here I am Mr. President.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 What the hell took you so long? I called for you ten hours ago.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Mr. President, I was at work when you called. I didn\u2019t get your call until I got back to my desk after a three-hour morning meeting.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Desk? What about your cell phone?<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 I don\u2019t own one.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 For pity\u2019s sake, what are you, Rip Van Winkle?<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 They seem like an annoyance to me.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Sure they\u2019re annoying but how can you get anything done without one? How do you get your messages and read your tweets?<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Yeah, I manage to muddle through with a laptop and a land line. I don\u2019t \u201ctweet.\u201d<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 You\u2019re like that frozen Neanderthal. They should put you in the American Museum of Natural History.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Yes, that\u2019s what they should do. Anyway, how can I help you.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Well after finding out what a luddite you are I\u2019m pretty sure you\u2019re not the guy I should talk to about overcoming boredom. You\u2019ve got snooze tattooed on your forehead in three inch letters.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Well since you\u2019ve already dragged me here why don\u2019t we take a stab at it anyway. Why are you bored?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 What a stupid question! I\u2019m bored because Washington is the most boring place on earth. Everybody is a phony and a liar and a loser.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Actually that is true. Why don\u2019t you get out of Washington once in a while and talk to some actual humans instead of Washington pod people?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 I can\u2019t. The Secret Service keeps me penned up in here like a zoo animal.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Well, they let you do those arena events where you talk to the crowd.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah, but that\u2019s just me talking. I\u2019m pretty much sick of hearing myself talk and tweet and everything else. I want to get some interesting talk.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Hmmm. Well how about your voters? They\u2019re an interesting group.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 photog, if you\u2019re representative of them then I can\u2019t afford to let them know just how much I despise them. For instance, I can barely restrain myself from having the Secret Service waterboard you just to shut you up.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Thanks so much. Well look, the people who voted for you run the gamut from idiots to geniuses, saints to sinners, billionaires to bums. If you want to hear some interesting stuff figure out how to engage all these people in some communication with your government. You tweet, but that\u2019s a few words at a time and it\u2019s a one-way flow of information. You need something like your rallies but with some kind of messaging. Maybe a live stream event. If you can get a team to sift through the messages you\u2019ll find a gold mine of interesting questions and suggestions. And you can craft answers to those questions and you\u2019ll find that it will capture the imagination of the right wing if they feel like they can talk to the President. And you\u2019ll have interesting things to talk about and you won\u2019t be bored.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 You know, that\u2019s not the stupidest idea I ever heard.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 So, do you think you\u2019ll do it?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Either that or nuke Sweden. It\u2019s six of one, half dozen of the other.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Wow. Well, is there anything else?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 No, you can go now. Don\u2019t let the door hit you in the butt on the way out. But make sure you tell the Secret Service that the aterway oardingbay is ancelledcay.<\/p>\n

PH \u2013 Good seeing you again too, Mr. President.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On a more local note I’ve been intrigued by the general dearth of comments.\u00a0 Now this is my first blog so maybe it’s how it works but I’m curious, so I have a survey poll on it.\u00a0 I’ll leave it on the next few posts and I look forward to the info I get.<\/p>\n

[socialpoll id=”2506495″]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dramatis Personae: President Trump \u2013 (PT); Melania Trump \u2013 (MT); photog \u2013 (PH) Scene 1- 8am White House West Wing; Presidential Living Quarters; President Trump<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,818,6],"tags":[26,168,16,391,1135],"class_list":["post-3198","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-ocf","category-trump","tag-american-exceptionalism","tag-humor","tag-trump","tag-trump-humor","tag-washington-d-c"],"yoast_head":"\nTrump vs The Big Boredom - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/06\/08\/trump-vs-the-big-boredom\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Trump vs The Big Boredom - 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