{"id":3272,"date":"2018-09-27T21:34:49","date_gmt":"2018-09-28T01:34:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=3272"},"modified":"2018-09-27T21:34:17","modified_gmt":"2018-09-28T01:34:17","slug":"trump-vs-kim-jung-un-and-the-bad-example","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/27\/trump-vs-kim-jung-un-and-the-bad-example\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump vs Kim Jung Un and the Bad Example"},"content":{"rendered":"

I went through the “Trump vs” spoof posts and picked the one I liked best.\u00a0 I’ll post one section a day but if you want to read ahead or start at the beginning I have the links at the bottom and top of each post to the previous and next installments.\u00a0 This one began back in March 2018.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Trump vs Kim Jong Un and the Shanghai Noon<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dramatis Personae: President Trump \u2013 (PT); Vice President Pence \u2013 (VPP); Melania Trump \u2013 (MT); James (Mad Dog) Mattis \u2013 (JM); Kim Jong Un (KJU)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scene 1- 8am White House West Wing; Oval Office; President Trump sitting at his desk with the office phone on his ear.\u00a0 Vice President Pence is just entering through the door.<\/strong><\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Mr President?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 (speaking into the phone) Sorry, let me call you back, somebody is interrupting.\u00a0 (hangs up) Mike, what?<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Sorry to interrupt Mr. President, but you haven\u2019t screamed my name looking for me since before you left on your trip.\u00a0 I was wondering if anything was wrong.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 You know Pence, it\u2019s not always all about you, you know.\u00a0 Maybe sometimes I call other people up when I need something.\u00a0 That is possible isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Well, sure, I guess.\u00a0 But I have grown accustomed to your early morning summons, so you know, I was just kind of surprised by the quiet.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah, well, don\u2019t worry I\u2019ll make sure and let you know when I need you.\u00a0 Now go ahead and get your first morning nap before you get cranky.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Alright Mr. President, goodbye. (as he goes to close the door on his way out he sees that President Trump is once again talking on the phone)<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah, I got rid of him. \u00a0Honestly, I don\u2019t know why I hired him but mistakes can be corrected.<\/p>\n

Scene 2:\u00a0 Outside the First Lady\u2019s Office in the White House later that day.\u00a0 In front of the door Vice President Pence and Secretary Mattis meet up.<\/strong><\/p>\n

JM \u2013 Hello Mike.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Hi Jim.\u00a0 Were you called here too?<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 Yeah, what\u2019s it all about?<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Well, the way things have been going around here only a fortune teller could know. (he knocks on the door)<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 (calling through the door),\u00a0 Come in Mike and Mad Dog. (they enter and close the door behind).<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Hello Melania.\u00a0 Good to see you again.<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 Good afternoon First Lady.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 Hello Vice Mike and Mad Dog, please sit down.\u00a0 The reason I have summoned you is because Schmoopey is acting very strange.<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 And by \u201cSchmoopey\u201d ma\u2019am you mean?<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 Ah, forgive me.\u00a0 Schmoopey is the pet name that Donald and I use for each other.\u00a0 It is a Seinfeld reference, is it not?<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 I wouldn\u2019t know ma\u2019am.\u00a0 Jerry Seinfeld is some kind of hippie, I believe, so I\u2019ve never seen him on the television.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Melania, could you be a little more specific about the President\u2019s behavior.\u00a0 Opinions may differ on very strange.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 He is obsessed with Kim.\u00a0 That is all he thinks about all day.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Melania you must be wrong.\u00a0 When Kim Kardashian came to the White House that was just a public relations event.\u00a0 She means nothing to the President.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 No Vice Mike.\u00a0 I mean that fat little psychopath Kim Jong Un.\u00a0 They talk all day and night, laughing and joking.\u00a0 And the more he talks to Kim the scarier he gets.<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 Ma\u2019am, what do they talk about?<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 They talk about making their enemies disappear.\u00a0 Someone must stop this.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Melania, I\u2019m sure the President is just pretending to be Kim\u2019s friend to get his cooperation.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 I do not think this is so.\u00a0 Schmoopey has been very angry with the Fake News.\u00a0 I think he is looking to get the revenge.<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 Ma\u2019am, what can we do?<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 You must break the evil spell that holds him captive.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Melania, we\u2019ll help the President.\u00a0 Don\u2019t fret.<\/p>\n

MT \u2013 Thank you gentlemen.\u00a0 Now I must get back to my memoirs.\u00a0 Goodbye.<\/p>\n

Scene 3:\u00a0 That night; White House Teleconferencing Center, President Trump sitting in front of a teleprompter with Kim Jong Un\u2019s image projected in front of him, Mattis and Pence entering from behind him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

PT \u2013 So did you really boil the entire Nork Press Corp in honey and feed them to bears?<\/p>\n

KJU \u2013 You bet you I do!\u00a0 And then I feed bears to sharks.\u00a0 Very, very funny.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Well, my short fat friend, you certainly have your own style.\u00a0 But I\u2019ll settle for results.\u00a0 Did I tell you how I eliminated sixteen rinos without firing a shot?<\/p>\n

KJU \u2013 Ouuuh, rhino horn good for the rub rub.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Maybe, but these rinos had already had their horns and their genitals removed before the event.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Mr. President, may we have a word with you?<\/p>\n

KJU \u2013 Donald, these dogs are interrupting us.\u00a0 Have them fed to sharks!<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 No Jung Un the sharks are already full, besides I still need these servants for a little longer.<\/p>\n

KJU \u2013 I bored.\u00a0 I go. (screen goes blank)<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Jim, Mike what do you want?<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Mr. President, we\u2019ve heard some disturbing reports about your behavior.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Schmoopey ratted me out!<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 Mr. President, that little psychopath Kim can\u2019t be trusted.\u00a0 You said so yourself last month.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 That\u2019s true Mr. President.\u00a0 I remember you were afraid he\u2019d try to poison you.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yes, but that was before we became friends.\u00a0 Now he\u2019s shown me how to deal with the Fake News, Crooked Hillary and the Deep State all at the same time.<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 But we\u2019re Americans, we\u2019re the good guys we don\u2019t murder other Americans just because of political differences.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Are you telling me Hillary Clinton, Peter Strzok and Jim Acosta are loyal Americans.<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 Hmmm, I get your point.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 But Mr. President, that\u2019s besides the point.\u00a0 If you stoop to their level, they win.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 If you do blah, blah, blah they win?\u00a0 Who do you think I am, W?\u00a0 Mike, you and Mad Dog convene the Cabinet for a special meeting.\u00a0 I want to get the whole team\u2019s ideas on some of Jong Un\u2019s \u201cspecial techniques.\u201d<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Mr. President, why don\u2019t we start with just the three of us?\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure Jeff Sessions would survive it.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Yeah that may not be a problem for much longer.\u00a0 Okay, let\u2019s get down to brass tacks.\u00a0 Sessions isn\u2019t going to do anything about the mess in the DOJ or Mueller.\u00a0 My friend Jong Un sent me plans for his built-in shark tank.\u00a0 I have it installed under the floor in the White House basement and whenever I want a problem to go away I invite the \u201cproblem\u201d for a heart to heart chat and a stroll around the basement and before you know it the problem is a just a greasy residue to be filtered out of the tank water.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Mr. President, that\u2019s monstrous!<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Would that count for Joe Biden?<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 Hold on Mike, maybe we should hear him out.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 No!\u00a0 Not even for Creepy Uncle Joe.\u00a0 Look you are just allowing yourself to get swept up in the whole Caligula thing that Kim Jong Un has going on.\u00a0 Remember how that worked out for Caligula himself.\u00a0 Or Nero, or Hitler or any of those other psychos.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Well Stalin did alright.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 But this is America, it\u2019s not the Soviet Union yet.\u00a0 Look at it realistically.\u00a0 If all your enemies start mysteriously disappearing, like they do around the Clintons then you\u2019ll be treated the same way they are. \u00a0Everyone will fear and hate you.\u00a0 You\u2019ll never get re-elected and after you die your corpse will be desecrated.<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 They might call you Crooked Donald.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Never thought of that.\u00a0 That would be bad for the Trump brand.\u00a0 Alright, you\u2019ve convinced me, no shark tank.\u00a0 But I have to say, you guys are nowhere near as much fun as Jong Un.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 And I have some more bad news for you.\u00a0 You\u2019re gonna have to break off your bromance with the short fat maniac.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 No way, he\u2019s fun and he\u2019s got a great head of hair.<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Yes, way.\u00a0 Melania is very upset with you and if you don\u2019t straighten up she\u2019ll bolt.<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 Schmoopey?\u00a0 I can\u2019t have that.\u00a0 Okay, you win, I\u2019ll break up with Jong Un.\u00a0 But you guys are gonna have to raise your game.\u00a0 If I get too bored I\u2019ll have to reconsider the shark tank.<\/p>\n

JM \u2013 How about a pinochle game on Thursday nights?<\/p>\n

VPP \u2013 Charades?<\/p>\n

PT \u2013 (under his breath) Shark tank.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Morning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I went through the “Trump vs” spoof posts and picked the one I liked best.\u00a0 I’ll post one section a day but if you want<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,818,6],"tags":[168,959,820,958,117,652,372,1146,16,391,373],"class_list":["post-3272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-ocf","category-trump","tag-humor","tag-james-mattis","tag-kim-jong-un","tag-mad-dog-mattis","tag-melania","tag-melania-trump","tag-mike-pence","tag-shark-tank","tag-trump","tag-trump-humor","tag-trump-vs"],"yoast_head":"\nTrump vs Kim Jung Un and the Bad Example - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/09\/27\/trump-vs-kim-jung-un-and-the-bad-example\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Trump vs Kim Jung Un and the Bad Example - 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