{"id":3331,"date":"2018-10-02T19:56:12","date_gmt":"2018-10-02T23:56:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=3331"},"modified":"2018-10-02T19:56:54","modified_gmt":"2018-10-02T23:56:54","slug":"morning-shmoe-vs-the-doggie-gaegogi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/02\/morning-shmoe-vs-the-doggie-gaegogi\/","title":{"rendered":"Morning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi"},"content":{"rendered":"

I went through the “Trump vs” spoof posts and picked the one I liked best.\u00a0 I’ll post one section a day but if you want to read ahead or start at the beginning I have the links at the bottom and top of each post to the previous and next installments.\u00a0 This one began back in March 2018.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Trump vs Kim Jong Un and the Shanghai Noon<\/a><\/p>\n

Dramatis Personae: Morning Shmoe \u2013 (MS);\u00a0 Lycra Spandexy \u2013 (LS);\u00a0 \u00a0President Trump \u2013 (PT); Kim Jong Un (KJU)<\/p>\n

Scene 1- 8am, MSNBC, Set of the Morning Shmoe talk show; \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

MS \u2013 Welcome back from that commercial break and it\u2019s the cube root of 27 minutes after the hour and we\u2019re here at the set of the Morning Shmoe Show.\u00a0 And Lycra Spandexy and I were just saying how we\u2019ve never been more in love or more sure that Donald Trump\u2019s presidency is seconds away from imploding before our eyes.<\/p>\n

LS \u2013 Yes, that\u2019s right Shmoe, very, very in love and very, very close to imploding.<\/p>\n

MS \u2013 Exactly.<\/p>\n

LS \u2013 Exactly.<\/p>\n

MS \u2013 And continuing on our discussion of the bromance between Trump and Kim, I just wonder how Donald Trump feels knowing that he has become just as much of a laughing stock as that other tin pot dictator Kim Jong Un.\u00a0 After all he may not be as short and fat as Kim but he\u2019s just as much of a psychopath and just as ugly.<\/p>\n

LS \u2013 Yes that\u2019s right Shmoe, very, very much a laughing stock and very, very ugly.<\/p>\n

MS \u2013 Exactly.<\/p>\n

LS \u2013 Exactly.<\/p>\n

MS \u2013 Hmmm.<\/p>\n

LS \u2013 Oh, look!\u00a0 Producer Jorge says we have a caller on line one.\u00a0 Go ahead caller.<\/p>\n

KJU \u2013 You listen good, Lycra Spandexy and Morning Shmoe!\u00a0 This Kim Jong Un, Supreme Dear Leader of Democratic People\u2019s Republic of Korea.\u00a0 You really piss me off.\u00a0 Maybe my friend Donald Trump let you get away with this stuff but I no will.\u00a0 You are in deep doo doo.\u00a0 You make fun of me?\u00a0 Hah, I make fun of you!\u00a0 What kind name Lycra Spandexy?\u00a0 Sound like the sports bra.\u00a0 And Morning Shmoe?\u00a0 You some kind of Fourth Stooge?\u00a0 Hah, Hah!<\/p>\n

LS \u2013 Oh yeah?\u00a0 Well your name is really funny.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you know Kim is a girl\u2019s name?\u00a0 Like Kim Kardashian.<\/p>\n

MS \u2013 Honey, I don\u2019t think you should engage.\u00a0 I think the directive in these situations is to remain calm and shelter in place until the back-up arrives.<\/p>\n

KJU \u2013 Too late you foolish losers.\u00a0 I already sent team to your apartment.\u00a0 You aware that Korean cuisine includes dog, right?<\/p>\n

LS \u2013 Mr. Toodles?<\/p>\n

KJU \u2013 That right.\u00a0 I now finishing off Toodles with Noodles. Very hot and very tasty.<\/p>\n

(Lycra becomes hysterical)<\/p>\n

MS \u2013 You fiend!\u00a0 I\u2019ll call the State Department and have you arrested.<\/p>\n

KJU \u2013 Don\u2019t bother.\u00a0 Diplomatic immunity.\u00a0 And I already in flight and over Atlantic Ocean.\u00a0 Plus, I no think Donald like you two too much.\u00a0 You piss him off too.\u00a0 So goodbye losers.\u00a0 Better not say more about me or you might end up on menu for my shark tank.\u00a0 (call ends in a dial tone)<\/p>\n

MS \u2013 (with Lycra in the background keening shrilly for Mr.Toodles)\u00a0 Well this is a black day on Morning Shmoe.\u00a0 Not since the 9-11 attacks has anything as shocking occurred.\u00a0 In fact, as we all know, the 9-11 attacks were the fault of Islamophobia whereas this murder is strictly the fault of Donald Trump and his Axis of Evil with a dictator who will remain nameless because of reasons.\u00a0 I would declare a morning of mourning but we really need the paychecks to cover the wedding expenses we incurred.\u00a0 It was an event wedding in Hawaii and Lycra had a lot of Eastern European relatives to fly in.<\/p>\n

LS \u2013 (breaking out of her wailing dirge)\u00a0 You were the one who wanted Hawaii.<\/p>\n

MS- Whatever!\u00a0 Well anyway, goodbye everybody and may your morning progress.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mourning Morning Shmoe<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I went through the “Trump vs” spoof posts and picked the one I liked best.\u00a0 I’ll post one section a day but if you want<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[168,820,179,178,230,180,16,391],"class_list":["post-3331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-humor","tag-kim-jong-un","tag-lycra-spandexy","tag-morning-shmoe","tag-right-wing-humor","tag-shmoe-browfurrowed","tag-trump","tag-trump-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nMorning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2018\/10\/02\/morning-shmoe-vs-the-doggie-gaegogi\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Morning Shmoe vs the Doggie Gaegogi - 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