{"id":34086,"date":"2025-08-02T15:36:37","date_gmt":"2025-08-02T19:36:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=34086"},"modified":"2025-08-02T16:04:15","modified_gmt":"2025-08-02T20:04:15","slug":"capon-parts-ways-with-red-lobster","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2025\/08\/02\/capon-parts-ways-with-red-lobster\/","title":{"rendered":"Capon Parts Ways with Red Lobster"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Brooks and Capehart on Trump&#039;s firing of labor statistics head after weak jobs report\" width=\"783\" height=\"440\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/oe8CkyMj6XA?start=587&#038;feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>Girl Boss Anchor<\/strong> &#8211; And as we finish this broadcast I have heard that Jonathan Capon will be leaving Red Lobster.\u00a0 Jonathan, would you like to address this development with our audience?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan Capon<\/strong> &#8211; Sure why not?\u00a0 Well, first of all David Books brought me aboard under false pretenses.\u00a0 He told them I was an illegal alien and would work for first pick of the kitchen scraps like some kind of rodent.<\/p>\n<p>Second of all, the head waiter told me to &#8220;butch it up.&#8221;\u00a0 And strike three, someone put up a poster of Sydney Sweeney in the locker room.\u00a0 In this kind of hostile work environment I just couldn&#8217;t be my authentic self.\u00a0 For all these reasons I&#8217;m going back to my refrigerator box and my crew under the overpass.\u00a0 Let Books enjoy his corporate fat cat existence here at the Red Lobster but I have to be real.\u00a0 I have to testify to my own lived truth.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Girl Boss Anchor &#8211; <\/strong>That&#8217;s interesting.\u00a0 David told me you were fired because you fell asleep in the Shrimp Freezer Room and had to be chiseled off of a shelf.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan Capon &#8211;<\/strong> There might have been something like that but there&#8217;s more to the story that I won&#8217;t reveal until the case comes to trial.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Girl Boss Anchor <\/strong>&#8211; Thank you Jonathan for that interesting slice of life and we await your next assignment with great interest.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Jonathan Capon &#8211;<\/strong> Hey, any chance of an advance?\u00a0 We need a new refrigerator box after the rains.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Girl Boss Anchor <\/strong>&#8211; Sorry, no.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Girl Boss Anchor &#8211; And as we finish this broadcast I have heard that Jonathan Capon will be leaving Red Lobster.\u00a0 Jonathan, would you like<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288],"tags":[4967,3732,3996,4764],"class_list":["post-34086","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","tag-books-and-capon","tag-leftist-media-being-dismantled","tag-npr","tag-pbs"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.4 - 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