{"id":34112,"date":"2025-08-05T05:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-05T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=34112"},"modified":"2025-08-04T23:30:24","modified_gmt":"2025-08-05T03:30:24","slug":"boola-boola","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2025\/08\/05\/boola-boola\/","title":{"rendered":"Boola Boola"},"content":{"rendered":"

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 Welcome to the PBS NewsHour and I\u2019m your host Primativa Babullah and tonight I will be interviewing President Donald Trump and will find out what new atrocities he plans to inflict on the people of this country and the rest of the world.\u00a0 Good evening Mr. President.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 That was a very nasty introduction.\u00a0 What foreign country are you from where they\u2019re that rude?<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 I\u2019m from Westchester.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 Well, that explains it.\u00a0 They have no class up there.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 Mr. President, the whole world is waiting to hear what new outrage you have waiting for us.\u00a0 Yesterday you fired the head of the BLS.\u00a0 The day before that you raised tariffs on India.\u00a0 What\u2019s next.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 I\u2019m glad you asked Boola Boola.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had my DOGE crew looking into ways to get all those lazy useless bureaucrats to quit and save the tax payers a lot of dough.\u00a0 And they came up with something really good.\u00a0 What they discovered is that most of these people have become very fat from eating free government doughnuts. \u00a0Especially the ones with the chocolate coating and the sprinkles.\u00a0 So today I signed an executive order banning the sale, manufacture and ingestion of sprinkles withing the District of Columbia.\u00a0 That\u2019s another name for Washington Boola Boola.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 My name is not Boola Boola, Mr. President.\u00a0 It\u2019s Primativa Babullah.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 Yeah okay whatever.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 But how will banning sprinkles from Washington help you to reduce the budget?<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 I will let it be known that sprinkles will be available at one new government office site going forward.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 And that place will be?<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 A new facility down in Florida.\u00a0 Here it is on the map.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 But sir, that\u2019s Alligator Alcatraz!<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 No, no.\u00a0 That\u2019s across the lagoon.\u00a0 This is called Crocodile Castle.\u00a0 It\u2019s a much classier place.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 You want government workers to work in a prison.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 It\u2019s not a prison.\u00a0 It\u2019s a cutting-edge office environment that utilizes various incentives and feedback mechanisms to get the maximum value out of the employees.\u00a0 For instance, there is an exercise facility that also helps correct a slight flaw in the construction design.\u00a0 The stationary bicycles that the employees operate while working are attached to the pumps that keep the water level below the containment wall that keeps out the local fauna; let\u2019s see Burmese pythons, American crocodiles, Nile monitor lizards.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 Why that\u2019s horrible!\u00a0 These people have to pedal for their lives?<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 Well, technically we can\u2019t force them to keep pedaling.\u00a0 But it\u2019s probably a really good idea if they do.\u00a0 And they can take turns.\u00a0 They don\u2019t have to pedal more than eighteen hours a day, on average.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 But this is obviously illegal.\u00a0 It\u2019s a form of slavery.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 No, actually it\u2019s just the terms of their employment.\u00a0 They can always quit.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 But why go through all of these elaborate machinations just to save some government salaries?\u00a0 Surely there\u2019s an easier way.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 Because it makes great television.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to put this on one of the cable networks and call it, \u201cSo You Wanted to be a Lazy Slug!\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll rig it so every Friday a python will get in and chase the fattest worker around the bathroom or something.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be an instant hit.\u00a0 We\u2019ll make a fortune.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 Mr. Trump, you truly are a monster.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 Hey I don\u2019t try to sell people crappy over-priced tote bags so don\u2019t get all holier than thou with me Boola Boola.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 Dammit, it\u2019s not Boola Boola, it\u2019s just plain Boola.\u00a0 I mean Babullah.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 Hey calm down lady.\u00a0 You asked me for this interview.<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 Well, I\u2019m sorry I did.<\/p>\n

Donald Trump<\/strong> \u2013 Alright boys let\u2019s roll.\u00a0 Find the closest McDonalds.\u00a0 I\u2019m hungry (leaves the set).<\/p>\n

Primativa Babullah<\/strong> \u2013 Well folks, sorry for that fiasco.\u00a0 As you heard, the President has become unhinged.\u00a0 But thanks to PBS this is the kind of hard-hitting journalism you come to expect from us.\u00a0 Make sure to stick around for our begathon, I mean telethon coming right up.\u00a0 Stay tuned and enjoy an anti-depressed viewing hour.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Primativa Babullah \u2013 Welcome to the PBS NewsHour and I\u2019m your host Primativa Babullah and tonight I will be interviewing President Donald Trump and will<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,288,6],"tags":[168,4764,16,391],"class_list":["post-34112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-humor","category-trump","tag-humor","tag-pbs","tag-trump","tag-trump-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nBoola Boola - Orion's Cold Fire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2025\/08\/05\/boola-boola\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Boola Boola - 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