Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 And finally as we conclude the news of the week, I\u2019d like to go out to our former colleague Jonathan Capon and find out how the President\u2019s new DC policy of federalizing the police and adding National Guard troops is working out there on the mean streets.<\/p>\n
Jonathan Capon \u2013 Oh, so now you want to talk to me.\u00a0 Where were you last week when my PBS credit card stopped working and the ATM ate it?\u00a0 Well anyway, this week the National Guard glued a poster to the outside of our refrigerator box that said, \u201cThis illegal domicile will be removed from the public space Thursday at 5am.\u201d\u00a0 Now, whoever heard of a government job that gets going before the sun comes up?<\/p>\n
Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 That sounds very challenging Jonathan.\u00a0 How have you coped with this threat of homelessness?<\/p>\n
Jonathan Capon \u2013 Well I started crying uncontrollably and Big Bob comforted me by slapping me six or seven times in the face.\u00a0 It was like that scene in the \u201cAsphalt Jungle\u201d when the crooked cop starts slapping the weak hoodlum to get him to rat on his friends.\u00a0 By the way, it was quite effective.<\/p>\n
Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 That sounds awful.<\/p>\n
Jonathan Capon \u2013 Well everything is relative.<\/p>\n
Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 But what do you intend to do tomorrow?<\/p>\n
Jonathan Capon \u2013 I guess start looking for a new refrigerator box and a new corner to live on.<\/p>\n
Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 But what if Trump does this everywhere in DC?<\/p>\n
Jonathan Capon \u2013 Well then, guess what, he better have a plan for where to put us.\u00a0 Because there are thousands and thousands of us.<\/p>\n
Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 There has been talk about reopening mental hospitals and putting the homeless and the drug addicts there.\u00a0 It sounds like Nazi Germany.<\/p>\n
Jonathan Capon \u2013 You know, maybe that doesn\u2019t sound so bad at this point.\u00a0 I\u2019d prefer to be back at PBS or even the Red Lobster but if someone has at least realized that people living on the streets is a symptom of a bigger problem then maybe Donald Trump isn\u2019t as evil as I made him out to be for all these years.<\/p>\n
Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 I\u2019ll have to say Jonathan that this may just be some kind of Stockholm syndrome you\u2019re experiencing.<\/p>\n
Jonathan Capon \u2013 Yeah, well, listen \u201cpantsuit,\u201d living out here for the last few months has given me a fresh perspective on life.\u00a0 And the nuances of intersectional ideology don\u2019t provide guidance when a naked three-hundred-pound man starts getting overly friendly with you inside a refrigerator box in the dark.\u00a0 Or when someone puts a knife to your throat because you fished a half-eaten pizza out of a dumpster and he wants it.<\/p>\n
Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 Well Jonathan, that pantsuit comment was uncalled for and it seems that being laid off by PBS has turned you into a radical MAGA ideologue so I think I\u2019ll cut this interview short.<\/p>\n
Jonathan Capon \u2013 Yeah, fine.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to get going too.\u00a0 Wednesday is free baths at the carwash across town and I can\u2019t afford to miss this week.\u00a0 I want to make a good impression on the National Guard.\u00a0 I hear they\u2019re taking resumes for the new ICE jobs.<\/p>\n
Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 Fascist!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Girl Boss Anchor \u2013 And finally as we conclude the news of the week, I\u2019d like to go out to our former colleague Jonathan Capon<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[4967,16],"class_list":["post-34189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-trump","tag-books-and-capon","tag-trump"],"yoast_head":"\n