{"id":36781,"date":"2026-05-04T05:00:11","date_gmt":"2026-05-04T09:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/?p=36781"},"modified":"2026-05-03T21:44:52","modified_gmt":"2026-05-04T01:44:52","slug":"of-pyramids-and-pitchforks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/orionscoldfire.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/04\/of-pyramids-and-pitchforks\/","title":{"rendered":"Of Pyramids and Pitchforks"},"content":{"rendered":"

Like the Pharaoh Cheops I know the pain and exultation inherent in an enormous engineering project.\u00a0 Yes, he built the Great Pyramid of Giza.\u00a0 But I built the Great Pond of Camera Girl.\u00a0 So, let\u2019s just look at the stats:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Project Name<\/td>\n<\/td>\nGreat Pyramid of Giza<\/td>\n<\/td>\nGreat Pond of Camera Girl<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
<\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Length of project<\/td>\n<\/td>\n27 years (total)<\/td>\n<\/td>\n27 hours (active time)<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Scope<\/td>\n<\/td>\n2.6 million 2.5-ton blocks<\/td>\n<\/td>\n270 gallons of dirt<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Volume of project<\/td>\n<\/td>\n92 million cubic feet<\/td>\n<\/td>\n36 cubic feet<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Size of Crew<\/td>\n<\/td>\n40,000<\/td>\n<\/td>\n1<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Total manhours<\/td>\n<\/td>\n1,752,000,000<\/td>\n<\/td>\n27<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Significance of project<\/td>\n<\/td>\nFinal resting place of pharaoh<\/td>\n<\/td>\nHusband making wife happy<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Projected lifetime of structure<\/td>\n<\/td>\nmillennia<\/td>\n<\/td>\nuntil roots from cherry tree puncture liner<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Tools<\/td>\n<\/td>\ncopper tools, ropes, levers, sledges<\/td>\n<\/td>\nshovel, pitchfork, rake, wrecking bar, wheelbarrow, 4″ level (plastic), good old American grit and determination<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n

Based on scope I guess I\u2019ll have to hand it to Cheops.\u00a0 27 years is a pretty good effort.\u00a0 Of course, if we count the fact that I\u2019ve been throwing out the garbage and repairing stuff around the house for almost 50 years all of a sudden Cheops is coming up kind of short.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t he!<\/p>\n

But I don\u2019t want to overreach.\u00a0 People have been travelling to Egypt for millennia to gawk at the pyramids and so far, Camera Girl is the only one who has praised my great engineering project.\u00a0 And even though she has been quite generous with the superlatives I must admit that 92 million cubic feet of limestone blocks isn\u2019t anything to sneeze at.\u00a0 I mean I dropped one of the rocks I dug out on my foot and that damn thing hurt but a five-thousand-pound rock is a little bit more of a big deal if it ends up on your foot.\u00a0 So, okay.\u00a0 Cheops wins.\u00a0 He\u2019s big man on campus.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s look at this from a different perspective.\u00a0 What did Mrs. Cheops have to say about the whole thing?\u00a0 Based on my research after watching \u201cLand of the Pharaohs (1955)\u201d she must have been buried alive with Cheops.<\/p>\n